Babylon Bee fails at its satire again by being too accurate

The always bang-on satirical Babylon Bee has struck again:

DALLAS, TX—Clad in fedoras, smoking cigars, and wielding Tommy guns, prohibition enforcement agents raided a speakeasy salon today, busting a dangerous gang of haircutting criminals.

The community thanked the brave agents for keeping them safe from the underground haircutting crime ring. The business has been operating in secret, with hair stylists opening a little eye slot and asking for the password before letting ladies in to get their hair cut. Authorities believe they have smuggled hundreds of desperate women in for cuts, colors, and even deadly shampoos.

Oh that wacky satire site: lampooning how many U.S. States have brought in restrictions very similar to the crazy strict ones in Britain or France (and unheard of in Canada).

Except I know a dirty little secret: it's all true.

I know of a woman in a locked down U.S. State who over the weekend actually attended a hairstyling speakeasy. The front door and windows were left boarded up and the employees snuck people in through the back: it was by invitation-only and you had to be double vetted before you could be allowed in. Once inside, the girls were still there doing people's hair while a ghetto blaster by the front door played random construction sounds (hammering, a powered screwdriver, etc) to make it seem to the outside world like the only reason vehicles were there was so the owners could do some minor renovations. Meanwhile down the street was a bar that was closed except for "takeaway" food service which was kind of odd seeing it was a dive bar that only ever served pickled eggs and popcorn (kind of like the late-great Strathcona Hotel). In reality, the bartenders were in and mixing drinks which shipped out in paper "food" bags and then up the street to the hair salon: in other words, the clientele were all enjoying professionally mixed drinks while they all got their roots touched up and their bangs trimmed. It was almost exactly like a speakeasy environment.

So try harder Babylon Bee. Find some satire that isn't actually true. No, you did it again!