2006-12-04

Put me down for 2009

I come online tonight to find an urgent instant message from my buddy: basically of the "d00d there are pics of tittany and lohan's snatch on tha w3b" variety.

Those interested to take a peek (and who wouldn't!?) can find the Britney pics here and the Lyndsay Lohan ones here and here and probably in a few other places I've missed.

Anyways, the greatest blog post of all time on the subject is EvilBeet's Dakota Fanning Flashing Pool.

In the sick, sick mind of a celebrity gossip blogger, I'm staring at my TV, trying to follow her captivating story about her recent orthodontist visit, and I'm just sitting there thinking "I cannot wait until this girl flashes her coochie." Not in a because-I-plan-to-masturbate-to-it sort of way, just in a watching-gossip-history-unfold sort of way. I mean, she's 12 years old now. By the time she's 15 or so, she'll probably be Paris Hilton's BFF, because Lindsay Lohan was 15 when Paris adopted her (this is assuming Paris manages to not OD on cocaine or Valtex between now and then). Then will come the drunken nights at whatever the hot LA club is at that point (let's call it "Phurie"), and the hordes of paparazzi, and the short skirts and the absence of underwear, and then the holy, holy grail: the Dakota Fanning Crotch Shot.

Bonus link: Even when Britney is ending her commando days, its hot