2006-05-23

Oh you're right Eugene, real men there...

So last week Eugene Plawiuk argued that Whyte Ave violence is a result of cheering that damned violent hockey sport thingy (must be a Jets fan).

My comment on the thread apparently wasn't well received. Well that's discoura...hee hee... dammit, I thought I could keep a straight face. Hey, at least somebody's read enough of the blog to know that I know something about Edmonton's population that EPS and ETS don't (or else he just typed "black" into the search bar above the site, where that post is (was, this post is likely to supercede it) the first link. (Mind you, I didn't argue there was any "secret black subculture" on the busses...specifically, I argued that every black person in Edmonton knows each other, a fact which is merely demonstrated by getting on a bus. You can loiter next to the food court at Eaton's Centre and verify the same concept, but the McDonalds there has the shitty "McDonalds Lite" menu that doesn't include breakfast bagels or Big Xtras and the Game City there doesn't have the selection that's available at the one in Southgate)

Also well received, of course, was my observation that pansies in Europe riot over soccer. Soccer. (As always, the Simpsons says almost all can be said about the sport). I mean, those soccer riots are so vicious that some games have to be played in empty stadiums to keep the fans under control. Plawiuk argues:

Hence the soccer holliganism, after all unlike overweight baseball players soccer is actually a physical and violent sport.
Oops, didn't I just post video of Barry Bonds getting nailed? Last month I showed video of bat-throwing and helmet-throwing incidents...and that's just at umpires! (Recall I also defended such vicious violence. Much like the 14 year old girl in a "too hot to touch" thong and a low-cut shirt complaining about a date-rape, these people had it coming) Also argued was that
Now you claim Europe and South America are metrosexuals, ahh wrong ooo boyo. They are macho cultures.
Er...yeah...


Men at Carnaval in Rio de Janerio: Sam Peckinpah impersonators, every last one of them!

Plawiuk is already not excited about what shall be going down on 82nd Avenue tonight. Fair enough. I don't like those dumb Amnesty International and PETA (expletive deleted, rhymes with "ducks") that pollute the sidewalk during sunny afternoons (I took some pictures of the Amnesty bitch during my photo tour of Whyte Ave ass, but she wasn't dressed nearly provocatively enough to justify posting it).

As for physical contact in soccer, when Lars Hirschfeld starts collecting yellow cards at the rate Dwayne Roloson has been Hextall-like accumulating minor penalties, I might pretend soccer has more physical contact than the other great boring sports of our time (basketball and golf).

Meanwhile, I'll be rioting it up on Whyte Ave tonight as soon as the game ends (assuming it ends in a win... an Oilers loss and I'll be back here blogging by 11pm). It's just like Plawiuk's favourite riot in the street, only all we do is hit idiots with bottles and launch fireworks at girls who write cheques their areolas can't cash. No little boys were killed, even though the 'Peg strikers got one month without the police being ordered to make arrests which we poor members of the hockey proletariat were not so fortunate with.

Bonus Plawiuk tidbits: Apparently David A. Dodge, whom was appointed to the Bank of Canada governorship by none other than Jean Cretin, is a capitalist. If only it were true...he'd likely be the first one. Also, The United States of America has decided to take a break from being Zionist and is now downgraded to "Protestant". In left-wing circles this is like the colour-scheme for terror: Christan -> Protestant Christian -> Fundamentalist Christian -> Zionist -> Isreali.

Bonus areola facts: In Japan, where many women view dark areolae as a sign of aging, topical creams have been developed for the purpose of lightening (or "pinkening") the nipples.