This case should get blown open very easily

Kate over at Small Dead Animals gives her take on the recent alleged (attempted?) sexual assault which took place at an Edmonton school this week. Kate says something in the story doesn't sound right seeing how this guy was practically asking to get caught. Naturally she got raked over the coals for this, including somebody nudge nudge wink winking her about George W. Bush hiring pedophiles with this week's discovery that Homeland Secutity official Brian Doyle has been arrested in regards to a dirty chat and child porn on his computer. (As I noted on the blog, the Alberta Teachers Association has hired a lot of pedophiles too, so maybe they and Bush have a lot in common?)

Anyways, the description of the assailant is a black male approximately thirty years of age wearing a red and white jacket with medium length dark hair featuring orange or yellow streaks. He stands roughly 5'9", and apparently was at Bonnie Doon Mall's Evolution hair design (gulp! I've gotten my hair cut there) yesterday afternoon wearing a ball cap and trying to get his hair dyed.

While we wait for possibly other hairdressers to nab the culprit [this metrosexual fad is starting to get dangerous, isn't it? -ed] and wonder how it is you can google the case without finding a single sketch of the subject to stick in your blog, perhaps its time to simply take the logical step of asking a black guy in Edmonton.

If this makes no sense to you, you obviously have never ridden on an Edmonton Transit bus. When you've ridden them as often as I have, you've come across this weird discovery: every black person in Edmonton knows every other black person in Edmonton -- pretty astounding, really, since Wikipedia reports there are 11,610 of them. If you don't believe me, just hop on a city bus. The #3, the #4, the #5, the #6, the #8, the #17, the #128, the #140, the #162, whichever you like (it has happened to me personally on each of these routes, but I imagine its fairly universal), and watch. If there isn't already a single black person (or couple) on there, ride until there is...and then wait. More often than not, some other black person is going to get on the bus. They are going to board the bus, and instantly recognize and start a conversation with the other black person on the bus. This has literally happened enough times to be a cliche. The real thing that will blow your mind if you decide to eavesdrop on their conversation is that they haven't seen each other in a while and were surprised to run into each other...this isn't a case of "they ride the same bus together every day" or "happen to live across the road from each other". This is two people who know each other but by sheer coincidence ran into each other on the bus -- but both of them are black, just like the time three days before when your saw two black girls on a different route who turned out to be long lost friends. You crunch the numbers, rack your brain for an explanation, get confused looks from everybody you explain the theory to, only to discover the only possible explanation is, as stated above, every black person in Edmonton knows every other black person in Edmonton.

So c'mon...this pedophile case should get solved in less time than it takes me to wait for a bus.

Bonus link: Astute readers (this would be none of you) may recall this blog already determined a link between major crimes and the Edmonton Transit System.