I'm not saying I agree with it, but a Leafs fan at work sent this and damned if I'm not entirely sure how much of it isn't true.

Oilers - Let's keep drafting goal scorers and no other off season player skill level changes cause that's always the answer

2009 -2010 - Fall for Hall
Goal Differential minus 70

2010 - We got Hall that's what we needed next year we will be good

2010-2011 - Crap Hall wasn't the only issue lets go for No1 again
Goal Differential minus 76

2011- We got RNH now we are good to go

2011-2012 dammit again we didn't fix the problem - Fail for Nail
Goal Differential minus 27

2012 - F'N right we got Nail here comes the cup

2012-2013 - We suck again crap
19-22-0-7 - shortened season
Goal Differential minus 19 - shortened season

2013 - we didn't get 1st overall next year we will be good though our youngings are developing

2013-2014 - It's not working again lets try to add another No 1 pick
Goal Differential minus 67

2014 - we didn't get it damn

2014-2015 - Our young team is still good. Oh wait they suck again lets fire the coach - Lose all Honour for Connor
Goal Differential minus 83

2015 - Yes we got No 1 again WOOHOO McDavid is the answer

2015-2016 - ....................make a run for Chychrun??
24 games in minus12


Grey Cup live(ish) blog

4:07pm: Dean Brody just finished a pretty decent song to pump up the crowd. That's Dean Brody, right?

4:09pm: If you're looking for some reading material ahead of the big game, here's my rundown on the ridiculous "Eskimos offensive name" controversy.

4:17pm: I'm already sick of the frogtalk. I know Ottawa is in the match and some people in that city speak that horrible backwards language, but the rest of the country doesn't appreciate it. Hey, do you think maybe ditching it might help save the ratings? Worth a try.

4:18pm: The Ottawa REDBLACKS are playing their promo video.

4:21pm: The Edmonton WhiteRaceIsSuperiors are playing their video now. Great shots of all the defensive touchdowns we've scored. Oh yeah, I guess there's an offense too.

4:25pm: An asian and two blondes walk into the bar. Is this a joke? No, it's the company I have coming over in 5 minutes, which means this cowboy has to clean up and stop liveblogging. Enjoy the game! Edmonton Eskimos/WhiteRaceIsSuperior 36, REDBLACKS 17 is my prediction!

5:15pm: The girls have gone, I finished the leftover pizza, and the Edmonton Eskimos are the 103rd Grey Cup champions (or, if you prefer, the "2015 Grey Cup Champions"). The Evil Eskimo Empire has come out on top again, all is right with the world. Still, since I didn't get to update this last night (and dear Lord do I still have a cleanup on my hands) I figured I'm finish this "liveblog" off with a few game notes.

Hey, what the hell happened to the famed Eskimo defense? Yes I know the REDBLACKS are a high flying team, Burris is an experienced QB yadda yadda yadda. But the first five minutes of each half was just nothing but the Esks looking like spectators as the REDBLACKS stormed across the field. Sure in the second half you can credit the blatent pass interference that Aaron Grymes committed as the big screwup that gave Ottawa three points and the lead, but in general the defense took way too long to find their footing. It reminded me a lot of the Saskatchewan game in October [the score resembles the October 17th game against BC. -ed] that saw the Roughriders take a 14-3 lead after the first quarter that they stretched into a 21-3 lead after the first play of the second. Only in that game the Esks turned on the offensive coals and decimated the Wheatherders. In this one...well, they kept on stumbling.

Defense wins championships and the Eskimos defense to their credit finally did get their bearing. The offense didn't to nearly the extent, and awarding Mike Reilly the Grey Cup MVP seemed like a bit of a cheat. You can't point to anything he did particularly wrong and 26 points probably isn't much to sneer at, but it certainly felt like the Eskimos offense turned down several chances to put this game away. Sure you can bring up Shawn Whyte's brutal performance in those field goals (notice that the Eskimos twice tried for two point conversions following his post-hitting), and...well, let's just bring that up. Where the hell did that come from? The guy who had a 93% field goal completion rate looked like the second coming of Richie Leone, for Pete's sake. Grant Shaw's punting looked just fine, though nothing spectacular, and he was never tested with the need for on-side kicks or anything particularly skillful. Oddly enough, Chris Milo's punts (twice referred to as "line drives") looked far better than anything Shaw put together but Shaw's longest (69 yards) was only 3 short of Milo's longest, and Shaw actually had the longer average. Take that TSN play-by-play announcers who kept calling Milo's punts "line drives"! Still, though, those fuckers sailed across the field, and Edmonton never had good field possession to start off a drive. Oddly enough, each team only had a single 2 & out the entire Grey Cup, despite them leading the league in forced 2 & outs per game (Edmonton 6.9, Ottawa 6.1). On the other hand, Burris did throw an interception, and twice the Eskimos got an initial first down only to stall out on the next 10 yards.

Kendial Lawrence should probably take a pretty big amount of blame for the poor result as well. He averaged only 7 yards per punt return in the Grey Cup and had a fumble that Ottawa turned into their second touchdown. on the season his average kick return is down 30% from last year (he has more yards but on far more carries), and while his punt kick return numbers are trending upwards it's a little worrying. He was second in the league in combined returning yards though, so there isn't really much of an upgrade available for the position. The Eskimos will just have to work next year on giving him more room to storm up the field. Still, coming back from punts was brutal in the Grey Cup and fortunately the defense held Ottawa down at the ends of each half, or it could have gotten ugly.

I thought the penalty calls were fairly even in the game, I know it's a favourite pasttime of sports fans to blame the officals (though, in Edmonton's case, it does come with a pretty decent justification, frankly), but generally the calls were pretty reasonable. The first pass interference call on the final Eskimo TD was probably the most ridiculous call of the game, and I personally think that pass interference needs to be toned down a little bit. On the other hand, the CFL wants to maintain scoring. Regardless, it's a little silly that a pass recipient can look at an approaching ball, look at an approaching defender, and make the rational judgement that it's better to get into the path of the man than the pigskin. The second pass interference call on that drive was similarly pretty weak, but had a little more legitimacy as he did tie up the receiver's hands. I think the CFL should be allowing a little "interference" like that, though. Awesome when the call works for you (as it did for the Eskimos) but in general a little flakey. The Grymes interference call was bang on though. Oddly enough, you can't haul a receiver down to his shoulders two full seconds before the ball even hits the dirt. Funny league, I suppose.

As for that second REDBLACKS pass interference call, there's a lot of talk about the possibility of the Saskatchewan SisterKissers taking Eskimos coach Chris Jones for themselves, in a dual role of coach and GM. Now in general you can't fault Chris Jones for what he's done with the team: he's changed the culture from the Machochia/Tillman nightmare, he's been creative with the offensive plays (how many fake punts and fake kicks and fake throws have the Eskimos done this season?), and he's been in charge of a defense so stifling that it's now law in Canada that you refer to the Edmonton Eskimos as having a "stifling defense". But during that pivotal play yesterday when Chris Jones was going to let the possibly-game-changing call go by without using his coaches' challenge, I was screaming at the TV in the hope that the Flatlanders take him away from us. The three minute warning was coming up, and as soon as that happens all coaches challenges are gone forever. This was the perfect chance for a challenge too: it's a punt the ball away if you fail, it's first and goal on the ten yard line if you succeed. More importantly, this was Edmonton's first coach's challenge (Ottawa had the questioned one earlier, unsuccessfully) and therefore there was no penalty for failing: Edmonton wouldn't have lost its timeout. Instead, the Eskimo players themselves took it upon themselves to do the coach's job for him. Kenny Stafford, for one, refused to get into position and spent so long arguing at the bench that he forced Jones to burn out that same timeout he was in no danger of losing to begin with! Fortunately, in that time Eskimos off field team was able to look at the footage and let Jones know that he had a case. As the time-out wound down, you could see him reluctantly throw up his challenge flag with an absolute look of disdain on his face. Yes, Stafford and some of the other players basically refused to accept his authority, but ultimately with good reason. Had they meekly let Jones accept the call on the field, the Ottawa REDBLACKS would be the Grey Cup champions today.

I mentioned at the beginning of this liveblog (back when it was, indeed, a live blog) that the opening act, some nice Canadiana from {insert generic young male country performer name here}, was pretty good. It had a decent mood to keep the crowd moving. The halftime performance from Fall Out Boy on the other hand was complete garbage. First, Pete Wentz looks big enough to have played on the Eskimos O-line. Whatever happened to this guy? Secondly, they weren't putting a whole lot of energy and effort into the performance. You could blame the weather I suppose, but that seems to be a cop-out. They came on, played three (or was it four) generic songs that were so identical that at least at home it couldn't even be understood which song was playing. They only played one of their hits, and that was right in the middle. At first the (natural) blonde that was over watching the game didn't even think it was them, she assumed it was some warmup act. But Fall Out Boy was the warmup act, and they didn't even warm up. An energy-free performance, generic songs, I ended up switching channels to something the girls and I could actually enjoy. (the fireplace channel, hubba hubba)

Another thing I kept muting the TV for and changing channels over was that goddamned Frogtalk. Do you want to know how to make the CFL more relevent and hip for a younger crowd? stop pretending that Canada is half French. French is a little wart in the corner, they'd be better off in Punjab or whatever those gutter trash posing as Syrian refugees speak.

Finally, there's a lot of talk about the state of the league, Twitter conversations, etc. But if you want a good sign of how much more distance the CFL has to come, it's almost 24 hours after the game was finished and a YouTube search for "Grey Cup" videos posted today yields 113 videos and only one over 500 views (and it's just Fall Out Boy's performance and still under 2,000). By contrast, "Patriots" (for the NFL game yesterday) yields 820 results with the top three combining for 486,003 views. That's definitely not a good sign.

The Edmonton WhiteRaceIsSuperiors should handidly win the Grey Cup

It's the biggest day in the Canadian sports calendar, Grey Cup Sunday.

At 6pm Eastern, 3pm Pacific, and 4pm local time, the Edmonton Eskimos will take on the Ottawa REDBLACKS for the second oldest sports trophy in North America. This is the 103rd Grey Cup which was first awarded in 1909 and I know the math doesn't work out and you need to blame the First World War and a bizarre dispute over regulations (and not a combination of the Spanish Flu and the Second World War that usually accounts for non-Bettman related canceled sporting events).

This Grey Cup, unfortunately, hangs in the shadow of some horrible news. Attendance is down (the 34,000 in Edmonton to watch their long-suffering team win the Western Final was downright pathetic), TV viewership is down, and the league continues its baffling loss of ground to the NFL. Okay, that's some pretty horrible news. But over the past few days there has been ever worse news. A couple easily-offended Red Indians are upset that the Edmonton Eskimos haven't changed their "offensive" name.

This is a minor story every year, but in the wake of the disgusting TRC report (that I debunked head to toe here) there's yet another media push to consider the name "Eskimos" offensive to...people...who...aren't...Eskimos.

Natan Obed, president of Inuit Tapiriit Kanatami, the national Inuit organization, says the term is derogatory and symbolizes colonial policies. He said the team needs to change its name.

"If I was called an Eskimo or introduced as an Eskimo by anyone else, I would be offended by that," he said.
To this, there's only one thing that any right-minded Canadian (or Edmonton Eskimos fan) should say. Hey Natan Obed, shut up you stupid Eskimo.

If you're not in Canada you probably haven't even heard that "Eskimo" is "offensive". The gag is that most of the Red Indians who live up north call themselves "Inuit". Notice I didn't say "all". If you happen to be from the Yupik (Siberia) or Iñupiat (Alaska) tribes, the Inuit were your rivals. In fact, to borrow a page from Obed's playbook, calling everybody from the north "Inuit" is cultural imperialism. You might as well start calling everybody from the American midwest "Iowans". So already there's a necessary requirement for a term that isn't "Inuit" to describe them. Fortunately, we have one. It's called Eskimo.

But isn't "Eskimo" an offensive term meaning child rapist or something? Well, no. There's a false claim perpetrated by Red Indian activists [isn't there always? -ed] that "Eskimo" meant "eaters of raw meat". The more extreme activists think it's a reference to cannibalism. In reality (that humdrum thing that morons like Natan Obed never operate in), Eskimo is probably the Anglicization of "assime·w" which means "guy who knows how to tie his own snowshoe laces". What an insult! It's also theorized that since this word was used by the Red Indians who interacted with French traders to reference the tribe down the road who (unlike them, I presume) actually knew how to lace snowshoes that the French assumed it was their word for "everybody who lives around here". Regardless, the false claims that Eskimo is an offensive term just don't hold water. The easily outraged will always be offended by something, especially when they want to continue their barbaric culture's 12,000 year tradition of not bothering to create anything themselves.

Remember that these are the people who didn't create anything of real note on the continent. In the 260 years since white explorers discovered Edmonton, they created a modern liberal (and, unfortunately, Liberal) democracy, a thriving metropolis, and an advanced society that features a 9-team football league spanning thousands of miles that will be broadcasting their championship game in high-definition to be transmitted around the world. Obed, to borrow a President Monkey line, didn't build that. Instead, much like Tolkien's orcs, the Inuit take the modern refined gasoline that we use to travel around the world and sniff it until they give themselves irreparable brain damage. On a similar vein, when Natan Obed looks at the Canadian Football League (the second best in the world) all he can think of is "goddamned whitey, how can I destroy this?" Those who oppose the term "Edmonton Eskimos" are basically just envious and bitter about their own lack of accomplishments. Actual Eskimos are going to look more like this than like this, and therefore they have this weird concern that a football team named after them is "culturally appropriating" their so-called good name. Notice, as a small aside, what less culturally insignificant groups think about having sports teams named after them. The Minnesota Vikings, San Diego Padres, and Notre Dame Fighting Irish all have names after groups that probably don't contribute a lot of players to the field. Can you imagine some Swedish guy being upset over the Minnesota Vikings? Or an Irishman being upset over the Fighting Irish? Of course not. If a random Scandinavian visiting the United States saw that there's a team called the "Vikings" (with the logo being an over-the-top caricature of what Vikings supposedly looked like but definitely didn't) do you think he'd whine to the Ottawa Citizen about it? Or would he go into the local team store, buy some merchandise, and decide to cheer on the team that sort of has some sort of loose tie-in with his own cultural heritage? You know full well it's the latter. They're called the Vikings? Hey, I'm sort of a Viking. I mean, my great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather came from the same patch of land that the Vikings came from even though statistically speaking he didn't join them. Yeah, this is my team! Gå Vikings!. Likewise, an Irishmen hearing about a team called the "Fighting Irish" would probably only oppose the name if they go on a ridiculously long losing streak, and even then he'd probably sarcastically use the name to joke about how the players themselves aren't actually Irish. Yet it's only the Red Indian who sees a team named after them and reacts like a ten year old girl learning that Justin Bieber is taken. It's sort of embarrassing. Learn to have the smallest amount of respect for your racial group to think that your name might just be the sort of thing that other people want to use to describe themselves to make them sound awesome.

But hey, I'm nothing if accommodating. If the Red Indian doesn't want to have a team named after them, I suppose we can oblige. I ever came up with a good one in the post title: we can rename the team the Edmonton WhiteRaceIsSuperior. That way we won't mention your race in the team name anymore, Natan Obed [well, not explicitly at least... -ed]. It won't be even remotely offensive to the race actually mentioned in the title either. It's win win. Will Obed join me in supporting this great new name change?

Okay, the quick answer is the Edmonton Eskimos shouldn't be changing their name. Fads come and go, and the current #IdleNoMore fad in pretending that the Eskimos need to change their name in the spirit of "reconciliation" is just plain ridiculous. It will blow over probably sooner rather than later, especially as more and more Canadians wake up to the fact that society in general, and the Eskimos in particular, didn't do anything wrong that needs to be "reconciled". The Edmonton Eskimos didn't get Davis Inlet kids addicted to gas sniffing. The Edmonton Eskimos didn't convert a fire hall into a youth centre. The Edmonton Eskimos didn't hire their boyfriend to help siphon money out of the Attawapiskat Reservation into their own finances. Those who are responsible are the ones who devote their resources to creating something called the Inuit Tapiriit Kanatami in order to attack better men who have built meaningful aspects of our modern civilized society, rather than just get with the program.

The Grey Cup will be played today, and the Edmonton Eskimos are favoured to defeat the Ottawa Redblacks. Vegas says 52.5 is the over-under, and the Eskimos are 7 point favourites to win. If you ask me, the Edmonton Eskimos are going to win 36-17, though the game is going to start out in Ottawa's favour. So with Ottawa threatening us on the field (how appropriate is "that" as a phrase in the Prime Minister Turdeau era?) and uppity Red Indian Natan Obed threatening us off the field, there's only one appropriate response. So stand up, Eskimos fans! Join me, Bryan Hall, and the rest of the rational people in this world as we sing...
We’re cheering fight, fight, fight on Eskimos

We’re marching right, right, right on Eskimos

We’re charging down the field for all to see

And shouting rah, rah, rah, fight on to victory

We’re fighting on ‘til every game is won

The green and gold is bold and when we’re done

We’ll tell the world we’re proud of Edmonton

And the Edmonton Eskimos.
Go Eskimos Go!

Not counting the NHL Draft Day, the NHL Trade Deadline Day, the NHL Free Agent Signing Day, the four to seven days of the Stanley Cup Finals, and probably most if not all games in the NHL Conference Finals. Also, possibly, Super Bowl Sunday, the NCAA Final Four, and any really big NFL matchups.

Martok and I were discussing this last week and we can't entirely figure it out. I personally think bandwagoneering is a major affect: US sports culture is so much more intense than the Canadian version, so Canadian sports fans would rather watch USC's defeat of UCLA yesterday in front of 93,000 fans than BC versus Winnipeg in the Grey Cup. Which is odd, because at least when American sports fans watch college ball a lot of them are watching either their alma mater or a chief rival of their alma mater or a chief rival of a rival of a rival of a rival of their alma mater. "UCLA lost? Awesome! They beat the Arizona Wildcats in September, and I wanted them to beat Arizona to pay them back for their humiliation of myteam, the South Carolina State Bulldogs in 2013. I'm a SC-State Graduate. Go Bulldogs! And whoever beats teams who failed to beat Arizona!. No Canadian can say this phrase, but we know people from BC or Manitoba, or we dislike Hamilton for beating us etc. etc. etc. It truly boggles the mind.



The Alberta NDP have declared war on the family farm and all right-thinking Albertans.

Bill 6 extends workers compensation coverage, occupation health and safety rules and labour laws to all Alberta farms, regardless of size and regardless of whether or not the work being done on the farm is paid or unpaid. Bill 6 also allows farm workers to unionize.

So much for the family farm!

Of course, the people who will be the most affected by this bill — the farmers and ranchers — weren't adequately consulted about the legislation. But you know who was consulted? The Alberta Federation of Labour.
Back in June I posted a myriad of issues with the very concept of extending onerous health and safety legislation to family farms. Particularly, if the NDP didn't plan on modifying the definitions of labourers to exclude "volunteer" labour (ie. neighbours pooling together, or family members including children). Well guess what? They didn't. (Bonus comment by a CBCtard: "As a Safety Professional I can assure all that it isn't hard to put a safety program into place")

It's time to fight back. Third Edge of the Sword has recently trademarked a new motto when it comes to dealing with the leftwing extremists of Rachel Arab and Shiny Pony: Nothing is too extreme.

So what can you do? First, sign the Rebel.Media petition. Secondly, attend the STAND UP FOR ALBERTA rally in Red Deer on Sunday November 29th if you can. (If you can't, please continue to make public the fact that attendance at conservative rallies are subject to a multiplication factor). Thirdly, attend the rally against Bill 6 being held by radio station 790 840 CFCW on Monday November 30th, again remembering that for every protester on Monday another hundred have real jobs to go to.

Beyond that? Well, you can write your MLA. Make sure to write an actual physical letter, though (they don't care about emails). To make your letter count, there are three extra things to do. First, cc the NDP Minister of Agriculture Oneil Carlier and the Employment Minister Lori Sigurdson. Secondly, cc a member of the media, Lorne Gunter for example. This is something you can do electronically. (if you have a better/different example, please leave one in the comments). Finally, and this is important, cc the Wildrose Agriculture Critic Rick Strankman. You definitely can again send him an electronic mail message: Rick.Strankman@wildrose.ca. The letter to your MLA, the NDP Ag Minister, and the NDP Employment Minister however definitely must be written.

Tell them that you know Bill 6 is isn't about "keeping people safe": it's about control. It's about giving work to overbearing bureuacrats who lay awake at night crying that somewhere Alberta strong yeomen are living their lives free from their rule. Again, feel free to use my points from this blogpost, various real-life examples of how OHS regulations are inappropriate for a family farm This is important to look at, because most leftists defending the bill say "just read the bill", which merely makes changes to other legislation. Watch both Sheila Reid's and Ezra Levant's videos about what this legislation entails and why it must be stopped.

Bill 6 is a move to invade rural Alberta. The NDP will make every effort to destroy our way of life. They'll lie, they'll cheat, they won't stop until we stop them. Write your MLA, make sure the media and the opposition see you doing it.

Update 2:06pm: Wildrose NDP MLA Jason Nixon says that your emails to the Wildrose party about Bill 6 will be read out in the legislature. You can email Jason your copy of your letter to your MLA (I still advise you write a physical one and mail it Monday morning) at rimbey.rockymountainhouse.sundre@assembly.ab.ca


BBC Trudeau

The BBC has some questions for Prime Minister Shiny Pony. We here at Third Edge of the Sword World Headquarters in St. Albans are standing by with the answers.

BBC asks Trudeau about Queen’s portrait removal and why rivals belittle him
  1. Because Justin Trudeau is a self-serving asshole
  2. Because Justin Trudeau is a moron
You're welcome, BBC.

University of British Columbia hates white people

The University of British Columbia is a pretty wacky place. It's an extremist far-left campus, in an extremist far-left city. The local MP is anti-Albertan enviro-fascist Joyce Murray, for crying out loud. This woman loves taxes like she's in a porn waiting for a hot sticky shot of taxes to the face -- until her own sacred cows are hurt by it, then she wants bicycles and related accessories to be exempt from the GST.

So anyways, the 4chan folks picked UBC as one of their targets in last week's White Student Council movement. UBC immediately denounced them, which is odd seeing how they claim to love diversity so much that they deliberately deny talented white people a berth at the University of British Columbia, and instead have inferior nonwhite students taking their place. Meanwhile if you're a fudge packer and want to live on UBC campus, they have special dorm room accommodations (read: sodomy-fuelled bathhouses).

So in that spirit, it's high time for all white conservatives at the University of British Columbia to stand up and turn the 4chan prank into a real movement. The logo, courtesy of the pathetic pansies at the UBC administration, is provided below.


Will the bureaucrats who okay'd these men be admitting fake Syrian refugees?

Oh yeah, that vetting of "Syrian" "refugees" is going to work out just fine.

A bureaucrat somewhere failed at the vetting thing once before, it seems. Will Prime Minister Shiny Pony fire the useless tit before his rubber stamp harms another Canadian?


Safe Spaces should include those big pillows stuntmen fall into

In the wake of the various "safe spaces" debacles happening on American campuses, it's worth looking at this story:

Hubert, a 24-year-old aerospace engineering student mysteriously disappeared after attending a sorority party at The Foundry at Puritan Mill on October 16.

After a frantic search by friends and family, using cellphone tracking technology, Hubert was found two days later about four miles away, bloodied and face down in a ditch at DeKalb and Arizona avenues. His family insisted Hubert was on a MARTA train that night.

"He got mugged. He left the party and we think he said somebody mugged him. They ripped all his clothes and his wallet and watch and phone
out left him for dead," said Diane Hubert at the time her son was found.

MARTA and Atlanta police confirmed Hubert was not riding MARTA that evening.

A source told CBS46 Hubert, whose nickname is reportedly 007, jumped off a bridge -- like James Bond in the opening scene of Skyfall-- onto a moving train, believed to be a CSX train.
He's an aerospace engineering student and he didn't know that James Bond stunts aren't real?

Do you think maybe post-secondary admissions aren't strict enough?

Meet the architect of Justin Trudeau's new refugee plan

Today Prime Minister Shiny Pony backtracked on his ridiculous policy to bring in 25,000 fake "Syrian" "refugees" into the country, instead admitting that he could maybe deliver 10,000 now and 15,000 later.

If this sounds familiar, it's because it is.

Prepare for the insufferable David Ortiz farewell party

(a special guest column by Eric Wilbur)

The David Ortiz farewell party, otherwise known as the entirety of the 2016 Major League Baseball season, is going to be an insufferable display of iconery from all facets of the game. The Boston media - hell, all media - will run out of laudatory superlatives to describe the Red Sox franchise superstar by the time Memorial Day comes around. Major League Baseball will attempt to market the star's final season with the inevitable tributes, T-shirts, collectible coasters, and Fenway Park dirt upon which Ortiz once tread. Twenty-nine other MLB teams will have to come up with more original parting gifts, after exhausting the well for Derek Jeter's retirement lap through the league last season.

The All-Star Game will no doubt be Ortiz-centric. Heck, Fenway Park may even have a sellout or two over the next six months.

Look, there's no argument that Ortiz doesn't deserve the accolades. He is indeed one of the most popular Red Sox to ever play the game, a consummate winner with three rings to his name. But let's stop with the knee-jerk nonsense that has Ortiz preparing to go into the business of multiplying loaves in his post-baseball life.

But because Ortiz played for the powerhouse Red Sox, his legacy has to be so much more. Had he won three rings in Oakland, his farewell tour might amount to a couple book signings and a new Samsung commercial. In self-important Boston, Ortiz will receive enough flowery tributes to make you gag. We're in for seven more months of debating where Ortiz ranks among all-time BoSox, among all-time first basemen, among all-time just ol' regular swell fellas.

The steady decline of Cam Talbot

Sonny Sachdeva for Today's Slapshot about Oilers goaltender Cam Talbot:

Through his 324 minutes of play thus far, Talbot has earned a goals-against-average of 2.22 (the 11th-best mark of all goaltenders who have played in five or more games thus far this season) and a save-percentage of .918 (the 12th-best mark among this group).

The sample size is still small and the season is young, but it’s already clear that Talbot is a notable upgrade over the Oilers’ previous options in the cage. Perhaps most encouraging for the Oilers faithful is the fact that Talbot’s numbers thus far align well with his previous performance in New York. He impressed in place of an injured Henrik Lundqvist last season while posting a goals-against-average of 2.21 and save-percentage of .926.

Talbot has continued to play at that level this season, which should be notable for the Oilers considering those numbers were good for 21 wins in 36 games for the Rangers. Crucial in that victorious run last season, however, was the fact that New York finished the year as the third-highest scoring team in the league – concluding the campaign with a goals-for per game mark of 3.02.
Oops. That story was posted on October 25th. Here's the Edmonton Journal on November 1st:
Edmonton Oilers goalie Cam Talbot’s last game in October was anything but a Halloween treat, but it was symbolic of his first month’s work. There is room for improvement with his .897 save percentage and a 2.88 goal average in 10 games.

Talbot wasn’t supposed to be a saviour in net after the Oilers traded three draft picks for him in June. They just wanted a starter who hopefully could be better or more consistent than Ben Scrivens, but Talbot has given up 15 goals in his last 115 shots; a rough patch, for sure.
Goalies can’t have save percentages under .900. Truth is, .915 is about average now. Talbot knows that.

He gave up two ugly goals against Calgary — the mishandling of the puck that Michael Frolik finished off, and the bad-angle shot by Frolik that found its way into the net. Are these mental mistakes or technical? Mental error on the first, technical faux pas on the second.
It keeps getting worse. What's Going on with Cam Talbot was the headline Suni Lagni of SB Nation asked on November 8th. And on November 18th Jim Matheson of the National Post admonished both Edmonton goaltenders.

Which brings us to November 23rd: Jonathon Willis has dubbed Anders Nilsson as the Oilers #1 goaltender. That night, he lets in a single goal against the Washington Capitals in a 1-0 loss.

Oilers management has now had a whopping three high profile goaltenders come into the team and become disappointments. Victor Fasth was a nightmare, faggot-loving coward Ben Scrivens now can't even handle the AHL, and Cam Talbot turns out to have been a phantom as well.

One hopes that the Oilers have learned their lesson: before considering another team's backup as the best thing since sliced bread, first make sure they aren't playing in front of a dominating defensive lineup. Anybody can look good with Drew Doughty playing in front of him. Put me in that net and I'd probably post an 0.825 SV%.


Eskimos are headed to the Grey Cup

With the thrilling (and, speaking as somebody who was in the stands, as scary as shit in the fourth quarter) win against Calgary on Sunday, the Edmonton "EVil Empire" Eskimos are on their way to the Grey Cup.

They'll face off against the Ottawa Redblacks -- wait, my mistake -- the Ottawa REDBLACKS in the 103rd Grey Cup, live from Winnipeg on Sunday November 29th.

The Grey Cup is definitely Edmonton's to lose. They're 14-4 and a year removed from their similarly strong 12-6 season where they lost every game against Calgary including the Western Final. Ottawa was 2-16 last season -- yes, you read that right -- and while their turnaround to being the Eastern leader with a 12-6 record is rather impressive it still won't be enough.

A curious reversal, of sorts: Edmonton was 4-14 in their disasterous 2013 season, and then similarly turned it around to 12-6 last year, and now onto the Grey Cup. Ottawa, playing in the far easier Eastern division, would be outside looking in if they too had to deal with the Stampeders every year rather than the niqab-loving Toronto Argonauts.

Regardless, for all intents and purposes the Grey Cup match was the Edmonton-Calgary game. Next Sunday should be just a formality. But any given Sunday yadda yadda yadda.

My prediction: REDBLACKS start out strong but can only minimally penetrate Edmonton's almost-always-stifling defense, and after an early lead the Eskimos will pour on the coals. Edmonton 36, Ottawa 17


2015 CFL Western Final

There's nothing down in Calgary but steers and queers. And John Cornish sure as hell looks more like the latter than the former.



Rodeo Kids Korral photos

Here are a variety of shots from the Rodeo Kids Korral event that took place at Gazebo (Dr. Wilbert McIntyre) Park in Old Scona on November 7, 2015.

Violence in Paris

The derka derkas try to make Charlie Hebdo look like a picnic in the park:

At least 100 people are reported to have died at the Bataclan concert hall in central Paris.
Gunmen took many hostages there before being overpowered when police stormed the building.
Others died in attacks near the Stade de France, with some reports suggesting a suicide blast, and at restaurants.
Paris residents have been asked to stay indoors and military personnel are being deployed across the city.
Paris is under a curfew tonight (for the first time since Adolph Hitler was alive), and has closed its borders.

Hey France! A little late now, don't you think? Next time why don't you do it when the smart ones warn you about it?

Update, 11:02pm: Turns out France isn't even closing its borders now! It's putting in tighter border restrictions in the form of checks at the border (ie. sort of a pre-Schengen arrangement) meaning that when psychotic Muslims show up, once they produce the right paperwork they're back in France plotting the murder of French citizens. Of course, because of Schengen there's even going to be the issue of how fast they can do this. They don't have personnel at border crossings, so first they'll have to find and deploy them, and then deal with the unions. The French border with Switzerland will be just as porous as the infamous cheese.


Patrick Kane vs. Hayley Pandolfi

In the sports world, Patrick Kane and Hayley Pandolfi are battling head-to-head in a he-said/she-said story of their sexual encounter.

But in the world of science, the two are reunited. Time-discretized variational formulation of non-smooth frictional contact was a 2001 article in the International Journal for Numerical Methods in Engineering and was authored by Anna Pandolfi and Couro Kane (along with fellow CalTech grad students Jerrold E. Marsden and Michael Ortiz).
The present work extends the non-smooth contact class of algorithms introduced by Kane et al. to the case of friction. The formulation specifically addresses contact geometries, e.g. involving multiple collisions between tightly packed non-smooth bodies, for which neither normals nor gap functions can be properly defined. A key aspect of the approach is that the incremental displacements follow from a minimum principle. The objective function comprises terms which account for inertia, strain energy, contact, friction and external forcing. The Euler–Lagrange equations corresponding to this extended variational principle are shown to be consistent with the equations of motion of solids in frictional contact. In addition to its value as a basis for formulating numerical algorithms, the variational framework offers theoretical advantages as regards the selection of trajectories in cases of non-uniqueness. We present numerical and analytical examples which demonstrate the good momentum and energy conservation characteristics of the numerical algorithms, as well as the ability of the approach to account for stick and slip conditions.

The "he said", as so very often happens, looks to be correct. This past week Hayley Pandolfi stopped cooperating with investigators and the prosecutor announced that Kane will never face a Grand Jury because the physical evidence backed his side of the story.


"They haven't really improved on the Oreo, have they?"

Harper vs. Trudeau