2014-02-13

With math skills like these, I'm shocked the Edmonton Journal is in financial difficulties.

There will be new AGLC rules about casinos taking effect later this year:

Beginning April 1, the Alberta Gaming and Liquor Commission policy will allow casinos to keep games like poker and blackjack open for 17 consecutive hours, from 10 a.m. to 3 a.m.

Under the current policy, table games can only remain open for 14 consecutive hours between the 16-hour period of 10 a.m. and 2 a.m. The change will bring the commission’s policy in line with the existing operating hours for casino slot machines, AGLC spokeswoman Jody Korchinski said Tuesday.
This is, to be fair, a little confusing. Currently there is a sixteen-hour "window", but the casinos can only be open for 14 of those hours. They all pick noon-2am, of course. Who drinks enough to make the house any money at 10am?

Now, the window goes up to 17 hours, and the casino can run that entire time. This means that the blackjack table can be open for three extra hours. How does the Journal cover this fact?
EDMONTON - Some local community groups fear they’re being dealt a bad hand under a new policy that will let Alberta casinos keep table games open an extra hour
Uh, the difference between 17 and 14 is three hours, not one. The games will be open one hour later, but AGLC could have changed the window to 10pm-3pm and vastly reduced the time while still keeping them open later.

Bonus hilarity #1: Edmonton already has 24 hour poker, so there's another factual error in the Journal story.

Bonus hilarity #2: Read the complaints from the old people:
Many of the volunteers for Meals on Wheels Edmonton are seniors who might be unable or unwilling to stay at a casino past 3 a.m., said marketing manager Jane Voloboeva.
Now try to picture the last time you were in a casino at 2:30am (in any city). Who the hell did you see packed around those slot machines?

Bonus hilarity #3: When River Cree expands the hours of its table games in April as well, I'm sure that'll just be a totally weird coincidence unrelated to how the Indians are forced to follow provincial law.