Resurrected Houses of the Holy

Led Zeppelin reunited last night in London, England. I wasn't there.

Supermodel Naomi Campbell was. And she got mugged in her luxury suite. Good.

Anybody who wants to enjoy Led fucking Zeppelin from a "luxury box" deserves any negative fate they receive.

She was the only celebrity known to have had a problem at a concert that was filled with A-list names. Mick Jagger, for example, attended the show with girlfriend, L'Wren Scott, while his children, Georgia and James, came with their mother, Jerry Hall.

The two groups did not run into each other. Hall and kids were satisfied to sit in very good seats at the side of the stage near Bob Geldof, while Jagger was seated in resort mogul Sol Kerzner’s private box with Mica Ertegun and James Taylor.

Elsewhere in the O2 Arena, lots of other celebrities watched Zeppelin and a stellar roster of musicians put together by producer Harvey Goldsmith pay tribute to the memory of Ahmet Ertegun. They ran the gamut from Rosanna Arquette to guitarist extraordinaire Jeff Beck.

Arquette’s friend Paul McCartney was expected but not seen, although his security man arrived and lingered near Arquette in the VIP café before the show.

Also seen in the café were the entire Presley family — Priscilla, Lisa Marie, Riley and son Ben. The four appeared to have cornered the London market on mascara, and Priscilla now looks like Morticia Adams. Why? Who knows?

Juliette Lewis also was spotted in the O2, as was Nile Rodgers, New York radio personality Carol Miller, Will Arnett of "Saturday Night Live," legendary '60s pop icon Lulu with rock jewelry designer Loree Rodkin, the Foo Fighters' Dave Grohl and, ultimately, Foreigner’s Mick Jones, who played one song — "I Want to Know What Love Is" — with a full band and girls’ choir as a tribute to Ertegun.
Any wonder why there was such a shortage of tickets? Every A-list moron on the planet decided to muscle their way into the show. Jerry Hall bringing her kids to the concert? It's not Barney and Friends. It's not even Hannah Montana. It's Led Zeppelin. Leave the tykes at home so a real fan could attend.

FOX News didn't enjoy the show:
There was no reason to be. If you were a Led Zeppelin fan when they last performed together 30 years ago, nothing has changed. But to paraphrase the song they chose for a final encore, it’s been a long, lonely time since they rock and rolled. After blowing on stage like a thunderstorm with a trio of hits — "Good Times Bad Times," "Ramble On" and "Black Dog" — the group stumbled.

A strange song selection combined with iffy audio dynamics didn’t help. "In My Time of Dying" and "Your Life" were a little obscure and too long for a crowd packed frighteningly like sardines onto the floor of an arena. To use the vernacular, it was a buzz kill.

The audience — which had gone wild singing the "ah-hah" refrain in Black Dog — drifted. Plant finally really spoke to the audience at that point: "Thank you for the thousands and thousands of emotions we’ve been going through for Ahmet." He added: "And to bring Jason in."

The reference was to Jason Bonham, who joined Plant, Page and John Paul Jones in place of his late father, John, on drums. Bonham the younger is a muscular, hard-hitting and enthusiastic drummer who gave the group a renewed zest for life.

His father would have been proud to see his bald son (funny since the remaining Zeps have heads of hair only Sweeney Todd could love) reinvigorate some of the hoariest music rock 'n' roll has ever seen.

Some things did not work so well. "Stairway to Heaven," the group’s famous seven-minute-plus reverie and radio staple, should have been the finale. Instead, it sort of popped up in the middle of the set and had a pedestrian quality. The sound quality was distorted, and the grander moments of this soap opera were lost. It was a disappointment.

On the other hand, "Kashmir," which has Middle Eastern tones and a shuddering drum line, was remarkable. When Plant twice hit beautiful high shimmering notes, the video operator was wise to show Page smiling from ear to ear. It was as if his partner had just made Olympic history.

"There are people from 50 different countries here," Plant announced before the song began, "and this is one of them."

Maybe because it was a one-off show and the group was nervous, there was little humor. The connection to the audience was more corporate than personal, a stark contrast to the later soul show when Moore, King and Sledge showed where Ertegun’s real heart belonged.

Yet meanwhile I fret, because I only want to know one thing. What was the new song that they played? What was it called? What does it sound like?

No? Not bringing it up? FINE THEN.