2014-08-25

How to stymy enforcement of Alberta Distracted Driving laws

Ostensibly to help you break free of your portable device addiction, the "No-Phone" (presently not commercially available) comes with an intriguing option for people willing to force police departments to stop wasting their time on enforcing Alberta's silly Stelmach-designed "distracted driving" law. As I noted when this first came up:

So if a driver can be holding an apple (which isn't being used to text, phone, or surf the web), why is it different when he's holding an Apple (which isn't being used to text, phone, or surf the web)?
Then, I got a little prophetic...
If I'm holding a cellphone in my hand but not using it, then I'm no more "distracted" by it than if I was holding a molded piece of plastic with absolutely no electronics contained within. In fact, a half-smart person would drive around holding one such device in his hands -- not faux-talking or texting -- and try to get a ticket just for the joy of quashing it in court.
It took a couple years, but here it comes: the no-phone.
Created as an Internet prank, the idea behind the NoPhone might actually appeal to some smartphone junkies. A block of plastic with the weight and dimensions of an actual smartphone, the concept is designed to reassure anyone attempting to cut down on their screen time by leaving their real device at home.

The NoPhone doesn't come with a state-of-the-art processor, a high-definition wide screen or a high-resolution camera for taking selfies. On the other hand, it doesn't require charging or software updates and it is waterproof and shatterproof.
No electronics whatsoever, just a block of plastic? That sounds exactly like the sort of thing that Alberta's distracted driving law allows. I can't wait to get mine.

Then they get theirs.