2014 Edmonton Fringe previews: plays you would never catch me at

As the 2014 Fringe festival kicks off, I've got a pretty decent early block of plays I'll be seeing. There are some I'm going to keep an eye on to see if the buzz or the performers convince me they're worth spending my money on, and some I think I might like if they avoid a horrible pitfall or two: typically, a rainbow on the production company logo or things like that will give it away.

But some plays I can tell you right now that I won't be seeing, and as a service to you the potential fringer I'll tell you why not, and hopefully spare you a fate worse than death: watching a Fringe play written by Paul Matwychuk.

A Story of O's: If you've seen it once, you've seen it 1,000 times. It's an "edgy, sexy" Fringe play all about sex. Come in the door! Sex sex sex sex sex! Tonya Jone Miller has been to the Fringe before (last year she did one of those dreaded "a story of my Mom's life" plays), and she's...uh...not somebody you really care to hear talk sex for an hour.

Zanna, Don't: Our first of many fringe plays celebrating sodomites, imagining a topsy-turvy world where disgusting sexual practises are the norm. Aye-void.

Peter n' Chris and the Mystery of the Murder Motel: I think I saw this one. No? I saw one almost exactly like it? Regardless, see the next entry.

Peter n' Chris and the Kinda OK Corral: The Peter and Chris duo are at it again, and while their schtick is a bit on the entertaining side, it wears thin fast. At 60 minutes this won't be too hard on your brain as they break and rebuilt and rebreak the fourth wall over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over -- no, seriously -- and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again. If you've ever seen Peter n' Chris shows before, and I have, you know basically what's happening in this one and you can safely skip it. If you don't mind meta to the power of meta comedy, and never seen them before, it's probably something you'll enjoy.

Promise and Promiscuity: A New Musical by Jane Austen and Penny Ashton: Bon Jovi meets Jane Austen? It looks like a suckage crossing the centuries.

Underneath the Lintel: I've already seen an interpretation of this famous play, you can read my slightly related review here.
Update, August 18: This isn't even playing now, so everybody is avoiding it...even the people who were keen to see it.

Maison des Reves: It's a play celebrating the life of mass murderer Alexe Popova, on the overplayed notion that she was "fighting back against the War on Women" and somehow "liberating" women.

Flora and Fauna's Field Trip: Another play put on by the confused trannies of Guys in Disguise. This tale looks like some sort of rip on the UofA's Sodomite Sodomy Sodfest with the "biting" social commentary you expect from louts.

En Anglais, s'il vous plait: If they promised you that this story "celebrating Alberta's francophone community, a couple stuggles to reconcile their heritages, and an MLA defends his constituents" didn't in any way shape or form have anything to do with Grant Notley, would you beleive them?

jem rolls ATTACKS THE SILENCE: Jem Rolls is that tall slightly odd British guy who won't leave you the fuck alone while you're waiting in line to buy theatre tickets at the main building. We've reviewed one of his few non-Jem (no pun intended!) plays before, and his writing style and worldview combine to leave this yet another Jem Rolls play to ignore.

Allegheny BC (Stupid Boy in an Ugly Town): That they think they can lure you in with the phrase "from the promoters of Jake's Gift and One Man Star Wars". What is this, an R&B show? Why do I care what the promoter's other promoted shows have been? This is a giant red flag, do as I do and steer clear.

Under the Mango Tree: Again, the same promoters as Allegheny BC. Uh...yay?
Update, August 19 2014:I thought this looked familiar: I reviewed it four years ago

Bridget Ryan's Here's To the Ladies Who Laugh Cabaret: Of all the words used to describe A-Channel's Bridget Ryan, "celebrated vocalist and comedic performer" don't immediately spring to mind. Again, be cautious of any play which fires up the falsehoods in the first five words of the writeup.

Boys Will Be Girls: Another disaster from the confused fruits over at Guys in Disguise.

God is a Scottish Drag Queen II: The Second Coming: I mean seriously, are you not paying attention?

Sperm Wars: I really liked this play the first time I saw it....when it was called Gametes and Gonads.

Of course, the list above doesn't include any of the *genres* to avoid at the Fringe: I'm looking directly at you, Burleque, Clown, Cabaret, and Physical Theatre categories!

(for more reviews of the 2014 Edmonton Fringe, click here)