2023 Edmonton Fringe review: AWOL

First, a land acknowledgement:

The Edmonton Fringe takes place on white man's land. This has always been white man's land, before his arrival this was an empty continent filled with banished Mongolians who achieved nothing other than stealing the untouched land from the previous wave of untouching Mongolians. Everything great that has been built on this land came from the white man, and his glory over it we acknowledge here today.

New music sucks, and it sucks too loud.

- Davis Quinton, Corner Gas

If you have an idea about senior citizens being out of place at a heavy metal concert, you need to produce it sooner rather than later.

In AWOL, two men escape a senior citizens home and go out on an adventure at a heavy metal music concert. While Neville (Rob Gee, also the playwright) is never given an age, it is mentioned "twice" that Cyrill (Jon Paterson) is 82 years old. Presuming our story takes place in present day, that means Cyrill was born in 1941, and would have been connected to the music scene from 1953 until about 1962. It would have been 1971, after Hendrix and The Doors and the Rolling Stones (Mick Jagger and Keith Richards were both born in 1943!), when he reached that age of 30 where you, as Davis said at the beginning, start deciding that new music just isn't your scene anymore.

So as a best case scenario Cyrill is a fuddy duddy who thinks that Buddy Holly, Elvis, Chuck Berry, and Jerry Lee Lewis is what rock and roll is supposed to sound like and that February 3rd 1959 is the Day the Music Died; yet he's still at the age where he would have been in his 20s when the British invasion and Bob Dylan's folk revolution radically shifted music and possibly Cyrill along with it.

If you have a version of AWOL (they did promise AWOL 2, which I instantly realized was familiarly never going to happen) that you would like to produce in 2030 and is set in present day, your protagonist will have been born in 1948 and been a teenager in 1960 still taking in new music until as late as 1978. If we take the two leads as British (while they annoyingly tried to localize the story to Alberta for the cheap pop, their terminology even more than their accents make it clear this happened across the pond), 1978 is the year the punk revolution in London ended. It's hard to make a "fuddy duddies can't handle your heavy metal" when your senior citizen saw The Ramones at the Roundhouse. So as I said, this is a genre which is already showing the strains of age. Obviously you could still do a story where some 60-year old can't handle obnoxious tubs of lard autotuning their way to the top of the pops, but the hook of the play is "senior citizens attend a Metallica concert" and that loses some lustre when Metallica is getting dangerously close to being senior citizens themselves.

This is a long way to go for this particular ham sandwich of a review, and you might be wondering "sure by the time you post this the Fringe will be already over and even if it wasn't this sold out the last 3 showings, but it might come to my city and I'm left wondering is it any good?" The answer to that is its probably good enough. It opens in medias res with our two geezers on the run from security, jumping fences and climbing stage equipment to desperately keep free. They realize they have to make a dangerous leap to stay free, they do so...

And welcome to Act One. It's often difficult in two man shows to keep track of character changes (we just covered that with "Agent Thunder" at the start of the Fringe), and while both of these men are better actors than we saw in that show it's still difficult. Neville's vaguely "Emo Phillips meets Grimace" voice is at first part of his character's charm until you quickly realize that Rob Gee always talks like that, when playing any character. Anyways our story starts with Cyrill's granddaughter coming to visit (the relatives around them are all gone: presumably age on Cyrill's end of the register and drug tragedy on hers), and since they don't have a lot to bond with since their interactions seemed to end when she was in elementary school, Cyrill has Neville sit and act Alzheimer-y stupefied so that she'll talk to him about what she's actually feeling (thinking it's like some sort of therapy to unload on a human being who can't actually hear you), at which point he feeds the info back. Unfortunately this time he accidentally replies to her, freaking her out as she (without any additional knowledge) pieces together that Neville actually knows Cyrill and feeds him the information. Hint to readers: this never works out well.

So with that, Cyrill loses all access to his granddaughter, which bothers him. So he and Neville conspire (well, Cyrill conspires) to escape the long term care home and find her. She did mention she's playing at the local heavy metal concert, so fortunately as the story started Cyrill had blackmailed the pothead guard into helping them (awfully helpful) and a couple awkward arguments later they inelegantly have his keycard (it would have worked better with a more interesting escape plot).

In Act Two, it turns out that Neville was a badass motorcycle gang member in his younger days, and his own grandson has become a motorcycle gang leader in his own right.(awfully helpful) In deference to Neville's reputation, the gang agrees to work with their connections in the event security team to smuggle the two men inside the venue (awfully helpful). As you can guess, here's where the story starts to creak quite a bit. The scenario has all the makings of those madcap Carry On era comedies: of course, you might notice they don't make those anymore, and the audience is expected to follow along too many coincidental plot helping elements. The core of the story should be these two demented old geezers stumbling around the heavy metal world causing mayhem (ie. bumping into somebody because they aren't sure on their feet, and a mosh pit breaking out), or instead using their wily old man powers to evade security and/or the nursing home staff chasing them (oh, right, that's happening). Both gags work, and if you're really clever you can alternate between them.

This doesn't really happen here. There are no "hey we can communicate effortlessly here since the loud music doesn't bother us since we can never hear each other anyways" jokes, and even the sendup of the heavy metal culture from the geezer perspective never really comes through and falls flat. I don't know if its the woke audience scared to laugh at the "wrong" humour but the show twice tries to pull the old "I don't know if it was a man or a woman or both or neither" joke out, which might work if it was the 80s glam rockers or something, but this is a heavy metal show apparently, and "wait what sex am I looking at" is something you ask a lot more at, say, the Fringe beer gardens, than you would at a metal concert. Those men there tend to be pretty testosterone-fueled (in fact I believe Neville even explicitly says this). The "all of them need haircuts, especially the balding ones" joke works much better, as this does increasingly start to describe heavy metal fandom (I know one guy who wears his hair long and straggly and a ballcap to cover the fact that an inch above the brim he's see-your-reflection bald, and while he's not a metalhead he did come of musical age in the 1980-1985 range that metal did).

Mostly this holds together based on the strength of the performances: the "cantankerous old coot" and the "lovable old man" tropes are used to play off each other though not as much as you might expect, and while Paterson is a strong enough performer as Cyrill his other characters are a little lacklustre and as noted earlier Gee doesn't have a second gear at all. Most of the time is spent with our two leads, though a drug dealing side character played by Paterson is way too over the top and gets far too much screen time. You would think a more natural way to have a "our straight laced leads have a drug trip" gag would try to incorporate the fact that both young concertgoers and senile senior citizens both find themselves taking a lot of pills and a bottle mixup would cover the situation nicely.

Basically what I'm saying is that the scripting was what was holding this back from being a real barn burner of a play.  The audience received a decent little hour of entertainment and a smattering of fourth wall breaking humour (as noted earlier, all of the ones that were Calgary slags or Edmonton rah rah were complete wet farts upon arrival), with two fairly well drawn characters whose adventures we were happily along for the ride on to the inevitable happy ending (which, ironically, we had watched in the first 30 seconds).

If they do make AWOL 2, they definitely need to plot out a better adventure to put them in. Maybe put on a music show of their own...

Click here to go back to the 2023 Edmonton Fringe portal page.

Donald J. Trump and Feynman & Coulter's Love Child were your source for truth about the Wuhan Flu in 2020

 

I mean, we already knew this, and we've covered this, but unlike Tam and Fauci and Hinshaw, I've never had to walk back any of my 2020 writings on the subject.

Lingering Effect: people still are under the impression that descendents of slaves are somehow capale workers

Fred Reed goes to town on how the United States is still paying for slavery...or, as Kathy Shaidle used to put it, "next time America, pick your own damn cotton".

Our American Africans endlessly advert to their problems caused by slavery and how whites need to solve them. Hey, I have a brilliant answer for them: Why don’t you solve your own problems? Let’s start with murder. Every year in Chicago, some 700 lingering effects of slavery get shot to death by other lingering effects of slavery; 300 in Baltimore, 500 in Philadelphia, and 200 in Washington. In addition, at least twice as many are shot but survive. I offer our selvatico citizens a solution: Stop shooting each other.

Whites aren’t shooting you, despite the occasional temptation. You are shooting yourselves. Why is it my problem?

I here offer another brilliant solution to a black problem. Blacks do terribly on the SATs. They don’t do poorly because of oppression. They don’t do poorly because of the lingering effects of slavery. They are the lingering effects. They do poorly because they don’t know the answers. My astute and uniquely insightful suggestion: Try studying.

Bet you didn’t think of that. Try books, those square things with the flappy parts inside. I can’t do it for you. Anyway, why is it my problem?

For those flashing back to Conrad Black articles and searching for a dictionary, selvatico is an Italian word meaning "wild" or "untamed" (which seems to track). In honesty if nothing else I'm grateful for Reed to point out that when you don't feel like trying to wade through the myriad of rules for conjugating Latin, you can just steal for the I-Ties.

In high school, we had tests to find really smart kids, which usually meant Chinese ones, so they could become scientists and cure cancer, or at least come close enough to make it nervous. Now, because of the lingering effects of slavery, we can’t do that either. We’ll just have to keep on having cancer.

See? We’re having an open and honest conversation about race. Aren’t you happy?

Now, let me get historical a little bit. We’ve all heard, maybe 50,000 times, that Martin Luther King Jr. said he wanted his people to be judged by their character, not the color of their skin. The idea’s pretty good, but I’m tired of hearing it and would almost pay you 20 cents every time you don’t say it. But that’s the problem. Whites and Asians do judge you by the content of your character.

As one of the commenters wisely noted, something that's been observed once or twice before....

If there’s a magical button that says “press to undo slavery,” you bet blacks in America would never touch it with a ten-foot pole.

Like Muhammad Ali said, after visiting Africa: “I’m so glad my great grandfather got on the boat.”

Tranny on Tran

As many of you know, our ability to enjoy the sweet sound of Natalie Tran has been severely diminished over the past half-decade.

Well one asian podcast was tracking her carefully, and apparently brought in a man in a dress to awkwardly talk about her:

@davisdennisshow Why was Natalie Tran trending? #natalietran #communitychannel #youtuber #asiangirl #asians #asianrepresentation #asian #didyouknow #fyp ♬ original sound - TheDavis&DennisShow

On a completely unrelated note, you can watch Natalie on a show called Mr. InBetween on Disney+, or watch the whopping 5 seconds she's on-screen out of focus in the background at 11:50 of this DailyMotion video.

Worthless corrupt cops turn out to get funding after all

Years after municipal governments started living by the principles of #NiggerLivesMoreImportantThanSocietyMotherfuckas, the resulting wave in crime and disorderly vagrants plaguing every corner of the metropolis have resulted in even an extreme leftist Edmonton City Council choosing to fund the police after all: even guaranteeing budget increases above and beyond salaries.

I bring all this up as preamble because city council just spent an entire day — and many, many days before that over the last couple of years — trying to figure out how best and how well to fund the Edmonton Police Service.

After a lot of tough questions about what the city can expect for its investment, council voted 9-4 Wednesday to approve a generous but not extravagant EPS funding formula very similar to the current one they previously criticized.

The decision means police should get significant, predictable budget increases each year commensurate with population growth, but constrained at 30 per cent of overall city operational spending. The city will also cover any salary settlements.

Of course, this is a bit of a mixed blessing. While the public is getting ever sicker of homeless bums causing vandalism and violence and societal decay in their wake, EPS is notoriously not interested in doing anything about it.

At the same time, we know a police service is mostly a reactive tool, limited in its ability to improve prevention and address root causes of crime, poverty and illness. Those levers are largely held by other orders of government, particularly the province, which has not been addressing them in particularly productive ways.

The city doesn’t have the money or legal authority to fill gaps of this scale — though it has been trying in some small ways. As such, council did really the only thing it could reasonably do in the short term, which is to provide stability to a major intervention that is within the city’s jurisdiction.

A "reactive tool" isn't a problem if you're actually wisely reacting. Every negative feedback loop, which crimestopping inherently must be, is a reactive tool. Meanwhile, Gerein can shut the fuck up until the day he dies (hopefully ironically at the hands of a drug addict with a switchblade) about "prevention and root causes of crime". After all, his precious leftwing governments in Ottawa have been responsible for the biggest cause of violence on the streets of Edmonton: worthless scumbags from shithole countries who should have been pelted with bullets when they tried to cross the border.

Let's look at two of the three largest crime stories in Edmonton in the month of August. First, remember all the burnings? I know women who were terrified over the man found burnt to death in a car earlier this month, right after another body was found burnt in a vehicle outside city limits. In late June there had been yet a third (okay, technically the first) body found in a burning car near 153rd Avenue. One was just another suspicious death, two was a coincidence, and three looks like murder. How can we ever hope to identify the suspe...oh, nevermind, its Mexicans helping Red Indians (who also, let's remember, should be on their land and not ours) commit gang violence.

The biggest story of the month of course was the "world peace" soccer tournament which didn't feature a single white team made up of Canadians, but instead of bunch of African niggers who instantly created a massive city-wide rumble.

The soccer players, who represented Brazil, Somaliland, Congo, Ethiopia, Namibia, Eritrea, India, and Senegal (not sure where Canada fit in, but there ya go) started actually beating each other with sticks.

The only other major crime story was the West Edmonton Mall shootings, which coincidentally happened right after the soccer tournament. It's also apparently gang related, so it might tie into the first crime story instead of the second. Notice that, as per usual the Edmonton Journal doesn't mention anything about the race of the suspects, which guarantees they were the skin colour that doesn't belong here.

"It appears one group was waiting for a second group of four males who were inside the mall," Derko said.

"It was reported that four males left the mall and went to their vehicle when a second vehicle, a white coloured SUV, approached them and subsequently resulted in the exchange of gunfire."

Three of the people who had initially been inside the mall were shot in the altercation.

Police have not identified the people in the other group and do not know if anyone from the group was injured.

After the shooting, Derko said two people from the first group ran back inside the mall.

Back to Gerein and his "root causes", his reference to social workers of course doesn't talk about darkies in gangs shooting each other on our streets. I quoted his reference to "preamble" earlier without including it. Now you know why:

Very little walking occurred because within 30 seconds of hitting the pavement the team came across a mostly unresponsive man lying on a concrete slab.

A minute or so later, while trying to assess the condition of the first man, the team spotted another man collapsing on the sidewalk one street adjacent. The group rushed over and administered naloxone to counter any effects of overdose, and after a relatively short time — amazingly, to my view — the man was back on his feet, ready to continue his day.

The first man, initially unreceptive to help, was eventually taken to a shelter.

Two minutes, two blocks, two distressed patients, and a service team unfazed as if carrying on a normal work day, which I assume it was.

In the weeks since that experience, I’ve also taken note of some related news.

•  Around 3,000 people in Edmonton are chronically experiencing homelessness. The numbers just won’t go down, and may even be getting incrementally worse.
• Emergency shelters are seeing record summer demand and complaints about encampments are up 50 per cent.

The homelessness problem that far-left Iveson assured us could be solved by 2018 with more tax dollars is getting worse? Yet again, there are root causes in play by levels of government. The problem is it can't be blamed on any government even moderately right of centre.

Homelessness is, I believe Cosh said this once as well [he did! -ed], filling an ecological niche of sorts. Homeless will collect and spawn in accordance with the amount of food available, and the degree of predators to ween them out and/or scare them away. So has the City of Edmonton taken steps to cause the benefit to being homeless to increase? Yes it absolutely has. Every penny of public money wasted on the homeless just brings more of them. Meanwhile has the City of Edmonton caused the predators of the homeless to be chased away? Yep, it did all that too (and then some). Has the federal government also taken steps to make homeless feel less fearful that, say, some property owner is going to do the sensible thing and get rid of them permanently?

Hey look, they totally are. So it looks like the reason Edmonton Police have more homeless to deal with is that their own sugar daddy is also funding the homeless while their ideological buddies are busy making it harder for their natural predators to eliminate them from the landscape. And that's before we look at how the Red Indians who make up the vast majority of the homeless are constantly being thrown buckets of money which, thanks to the loss of the excellent Residential School system, they don't have the education (and never had the IQ) to spend it on anything but the kind of stuff that requires first responders to carry naloxone.

Of course, the bleeding hearts show up in the comments (everybody else gets a lifetime ban):

 Bort Smith:

"Social housing, criminal justice reform, mental health services, reconciliation efforts, drug treatment, anti-poverty programs — these are things that can actually produce long-term improvements."

No they don't becuase the populations in question don't want to get better. It's time to defund these programs and force people to act in a respectable manner.

John Hogwarts:
And just how do you "force people to act in a respectable manner"? What punishment would you apply to a homeless person? Lock them all away somewhere? Where? Build more prisons or camps? You can only punish people who have something to lose.

JH is being his usual moronic self here. How do you force people to act in a respectable manner? With force, that's how. And what punishment would we apply? All pain up to and include death. Locking them away works too, but of course somebody will still fill the niche unless we close it (which locking them away in fairness does, a little bit).

We could solve the homeless population pretty quickly, and that's before you sign onto my excellent poisoned pizza idea. We could stop supporting them. Full stop end of story, every publicly funded homeless shelter in the city shuts down tomorrow, and these people get none of the support they "need".

In the meantime, we give them something to lose. Their life. And we shouldn't be feeling too bad about it, they are basically trying to commit suicide daily and we keep stopping them: in response they break into our garages and smash our vehicle windows. Let us take care of them (which is a net positive for the planet) and then Edmonton Police won't need nearly as much cash (which they only use to take away productive people's real human rights anyways).

It's a shame there's no great English language quotes about bad things happening in relation to the Danish national government

Mark Steyn on the latest capitulation to the adherents of the child molesting Satanic Prophet mohammed (worms be upon him as God damned him and his followers to burn in hell)^†: Denmark to make burning a Koran a crime under national security provisions:

And so in 2023 the Danish Government plans to re-introduce blasphemy laws - but for the incoming state religion. And it barely makes the papers. Frustrated Danes burn Korans because what else can you do? The gradual but remorseless Islamization of European societies would seem unlikely to end well. But what options do you have if you're minded to disagree? You can't talk about it, honestly, on British or Continental TV or radio. You can vote for anti-immigration parties, but, even if they win, nothing significant ever seems to happen. So a couple of blokes burn Korans - and the establishment reacts by further insulating Islam from the rough-and-tumble of free societies.

Now to be fair they do throw other religious texts in there as a fun bonus: I suppose it should make the Gothenburg version of those delusional tranny kids in Calgary think twice, if nothing else. Still, we've come to the point where as Colby Cosh once said, we are no longer free as we're no longer aloud to say "fuck Islam".

^† No word if Steyn has come around from his earlier belief that causing them deliberate offense until they convert to Christianity is a worse proposition than modicums of respect.

With hindsight, I think one can see that as a convergence of interests on the part of the jihad and progressive wisdom: You can come to your assault on free speech because you won't hear a word against Mohammed ...or because you won't permit "disinformation" on Covid, climate change, whatever. The men who shoot up Lars Vilks events and those who try to get doctors struck off for disagreeing with the official propaganda are merely at different points on the same continuum. "Free speech" is a fringe cause now, for the "alt-right" and such like. Which would surprise Lars Vilks and Nekschot and Charlie Hebdo, because, until they fell out with Mohammed, they were all more or less conventional Euro-lefties.

Barbie movie review

It sucks.

Okay, you already knew that. Well, how about a review of some interesting Barbie fans..

The most reported-upon client of Bell’s back in the ’90s was an early male-to-female transsexual who wanted to know “why her [sic] estrogen pills were pink.” Barbie’s answer? Because “that’s the color of the Divine Feminine.” Whoever knew Barbie had been reading her Goethe? The implication of Barb’s answer, of course, was that even if you were a biological male with a body like Atlas and a beard like Gandalf, all you had to do was pop on a pink dress or panties, and then you too could magically become a walking, talking, living-doll embodiment of this very same Divine Feminine too.

Barbie’s manufacturer Mattel disagreed, sending Bell a cease-and-desist letter arguing her psychic activities “may adversely affect the wholesome, positive, family-oriented image of Barbie.” So completely have corporate mores changed in the three decades since, woke Mattel may now be more likely to gratefully pay lunatics to undermine such a now-unwanted, old-fashioned thing.

It turns out, men who want to be women have really latched onto a little piece of plastic which resembles a woman but isn't actually one. Go fig.

His name is Barbie Kardashian, and he was until recently housed within the women’s wing of Ireland’s Limerick Prison. Banged up in March for threatening to stab, rape, torture, and then kill his own mother, under the terms of Ireland’s absurd Gender Recognition Act 2015, Bad Barbie was allowed to self-ID as female without any prior medical diagnosis.

However, Weird Barbie is in receipt of a clinical diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder, which, as this particular mental malady is really often just a synonym for “being trans” in the first place, will surely do just as well. Barbie once assaulted his female social worker so brutally he tore her actual eyelids with his long, sharp, doll talons; ordinarily I would be in favor of acts of extreme violence being perpetrated against social workers, but in this particular instance I’ll make a horrified exception.

You may be astounded to discover that “Barbie Kardashian” is not this individual’s real birth name, having been born plain old Gabriel Alejandro Gentile. As if to prove his maleness, once successfully in Limerick’s women’s wing, Barbie threw a wobbler after being asked to perform some housework, threatening to rape his female guards with his male penis after they told him to clean up following a shower. Burlier male screws then escorted him back to his cell, as they were the only ones strong enough to control him—because he is a man, albeit one wearing clownish, trowel-applied red lipstick eerily like that of Harley Quinn from the Suicide Squad franchise (also played by Margot Robbie, the very same actress now channeling Barbie at a cinema near you).

The Emerald Isle’s current Total Taoiseach is Leo Varadkar, who self-IDs as being an Irishman. A prominent homosexualist, Leo definitely knows what a man is, as he is currently bumming one on a regular basis. When confronted with the absurdity of Barbie’s case and asked whether he thought biological males should be locked up with biological females by a skeptical journalist, Leo replied, “No I don’t, quite frankly.” Why did you and your kind help engineer a situation in which just such an obscenity could obviously occur, then, you blind sanctimonious prick?

It couldn't have happened to a nicer faggot (no, literally, all of them are wholly evil)

The woke hydra has, believe it or not, come after Freddie Butt Fucking Mercury.

Cancel culture never sleeps, so you have to keep your eyes on them at all times. The latest example of this nasty trend showed up when Universal Records debuted a new music entertainment platform tailored to younger audiences called Yoto. As our colleague Chris Queen reports at PJ Media, Universal was excited to announce that they would be offering the legendary rock band Queen’s “Greatest Hits” album on the platform. But upon closer inspection, it turned out that something was missing. They had deleted “Fat Bottomed Girls” from the collection, arguably one of the band’s biggest hits of all time.

2023 Edmonton Fringe review: Whiskey Flicks Live

First, a land acknowledgement:

The Edmonton Fringe takes place on white man's land. This has always been white man's land, before his arrival this was an empty continent filled with banished Mongolians who achieved nothing other than stealing the untouched land from the previous wave of untouching Mongolians. Everything great that has been built on this land came from the white man, and his glory over it we acknowledge here today.

It's another improv show.

So again, I'm not really able to talk much about the content per se since its different (centered around a different theme) every show. In Whiskey Flicks Live two (American, hence the incorrect spelling of whisky) guys drink booze, play Fandago clips, and talk about movies.

I know what you're thinking, this sounds a lot like RedLetterMedia, which is why K'mpec (who I introduced to RLM) thought it would be great that we hit the show together. It wasn't really like that, so let me redo the synopsis to explain why: In Whiskey Flicks Live two (American, hence the incorrect spelling of whisky) guys drink booze, play Fandago clips, and talk over movies.

That's right, the movies themselves don't get a huge amount of attention. I mean they do, but they don't.

Michael Niederman takes the general plots and themes and sometimes the background stories about the films and actors being highlighted by Daniel McCoy, and he then develops it to talk about the wider world, his own life and relationships, et cetra. The gimmick is that Niederman doesn't know what the clips are (except, of course, the first frame from each clip is visible on the Mac desktop collage that opens up the show), McCoy simply picked clips that generally fit the theme of the night and then lets Niederman rif on it from there. The first two minutes of my show made it feel like it was going to be absolutely horrible, a half-rate one-man-show version of RiffTrax, but it did develop a little bit from there.

It never really developed into a full rhythm, the theme wasn't really explored with any sort of satisfaction (as an improv routine based on trying to shoehorn in movie clips likely never could be), and meanwhile you're left listening to the weirdest of audience shoutouts and comments (this could be improved, I supposed, if you went to this show as a warmup for the next Jason Aldean concert or something). Still it was only an hour, and there were a couple half decent movie clips to be had (as well as, of course, some ridiculous crap no man should have to see).

There was also a whisky drinking break during the show, which was nice. Only one though, which brings up the next question: this show is held in the backstage stage on the north side of the Fringe Main Office, which has a fully functional bar which in previous years has been open for shows and yet no drink sales during this one?

We didn't want to be the Rich Evans, the Rich Evans was thrust upon us.

Click here to go back to the 2023 Edmonton Fringe portal page.

With all due respect...

...no, this does not work! How old is this instruction?

2023 Edmonton Fringe review: Cabaret of Murder

First, a land acknowledgement:

The Edmonton Fringe takes place on white man's land. This has always been white man's land, before his arrival this was an empty continent filled with banished Mongolians who achieved nothing other than stealing the untouched land from the previous wave of untouching Mongolians. Everything great that has been built on this land came from the white man, and his glory over it we acknowledge here today.

Do you like those Netflix true crime documentaries? The thrill of learning the details of a grisly murder, or the intricacies of the police investigation, the red herrings, the dead ends, the final pieces of evidence coming together, a mystery being "solved" right before your eyes? The true stories of cases which may or may not have been solved, and interesting developments along the way?

You're in luck: "Cabaret of Murder" has exactly zero of any of these things.

What it does have is a musically theatrical examination of the creative output of known and notorious mass murderers. Did you ever want a dramatic interpretation of Erik Menendez's screenplay of a rich boy who kills his parents to inherit the family fortune (written two years before the killings)? That, my friends, that you get. The poems, plays, screenplays, and songs -- almost all accepted by the playwright as horrible -- being performed by three women: Nipply Redhead (Bella Ciccone), Low Cut Shirt Latina (Paulina Pino Rubio) and Big-Boobs (Kaite-Rose Connors). (For those curious about the exception to "somewhat all", Charles Manson kinda wrote music for the Beach Boys)

The show is fairly breezy and scenes generally don't feel like they run on too long: the direction is quick and succinct enough to avoid long drawn out stretches, and the show's comedy (more on that in a second) is interspersed enough to help you get over the fact that mass murders don't seem particularly capable of telling an engaging or cohesive story. One of the best bits is when Low Cut Shirt Latina is providing Menendez's screenplay stage directions to Big-Boobs; Big-Boobs seems uninterested in or incapable of delivering lines and taking actions with the emotional motivations indicated in the script, and the "script" gets increasingly agitated as the stage direction is routinely ignored. After the first of two plays by Virginia Tech shooter Seung-Hui Cho is performed, one of the women warns us that this was the "better" of the two. I actually think the latter was the more engaging work, but then I also thought the only decent poem performed all night was the one which they dubbed "the worst poem they had ever heard". Did they not notice all the earlier ones which weren't as good? Maybe the Spanish language one (bonus points if you guess which actress read out the original while Big-Boobs translated it) was good in its native tongue, the translated version was...well, translated poetry.

So while not exactly a true crime story that would rival the ages, it was certainly interesting if not necessarily inherently entertaining to see what sort of artistic output these mass murderers were capable of. Which leads me to an interesting omission: while he (almost certainly) wasn't a mass murderer, Edmonton is the home of the infamous POF Killer Mark Twitchell, who along with a Star Wars fanfilm which you can watch parts of on YouTube, also wrote a screenplay similar to the Menendez Brothers which almost perfectly paralleled his own later crimes. I don't know if the screenplay was ever released or even how much of it was written (we know he had at least some written material plus an outline of the plot, he had shown it to police to explain why he had filmed scenes with "fake" blood in the garage), but it certainly would have been nice to see.

Finally, if you have seen this show and think it was laugh out loud hysterical at numerous points, please note so in the comments. I thought it was cute in parts, but in particular one girl near the front thought it was laugh-out-loud hilarious on at least three different occasions, and while the crowd chuckled during a couple humorous breaks from the dark subject matter, there was only a couple people who laughed quite prodigiously and almost always at Nipply Redhead which makes me think they might be friends or family.

Click here to go back to the 2023 Edmonton Fringe portal page.

2023 Edmonton Fringe review: Agent Thunder: You Only Laugh Twice

First, a land acknowledgement:

The Edmonton Fringe takes place on white man's land. This has always been white man's land, before his arrival this was an empty continent filled with banished Mongolians who achieved nothing other than stealing the untouched land from the previous wave of untouching Mongolians. Everything great that has been built on this land came from the white man, and his glory over it we acknowledge here today.

As a reviewer, improv shows are notoriously difficult to write about. As I said years ago when I bit the bullet and actually attended "Die Nasty":

I never saw any of those things. There were no naked cannibals, no mentalist act, no Red Redford. Blinov wasn't there either. Neither of the major papers even review the show for pretty much this exact same reason. The things I liked and didn't like about this performance won't make much difference to you: again, I can't even talk about the performances since those keep changing. Will Morgan Cranny be making an appearance in your production? Probably not. Some of the characters are certainly semi-regular and recurring, but as a review this will be exactly that: a review of the specific set of circumstances I was there for. Tune in next week when I "review" the people walking past the patio at Julio's.

So when I got dragged to Agent Thunder this year, I knew going in that I couldn't do what I normally discuss in a review. I could discuss what specific jokes and gags the two lead actors -- Agent Michael Vetsch and Agent Matt Ness (both of their real names) -- did that worked well and which ones worked poorly. I could talk about which characters they did a good and/or bad job bringing to life. It ultimately wouldn't matter, though, since the show you could later see was nothing of the sort. So really all that's left is to review in a much wider and more general sense how the show went, with the notion that it might give you an impression on how the show would go in the future.

It's worth a quick notice that Agent Thunder had previously made an appearance at the 2019 Fringe, and that you can watch their shows on YouTube giving you another data point in what their show typically "does" and whether or not you'd enjoy it.

The first thing worth noting is that they really should consider breaking their show into two or maybe even three stories. The runtime isn't too long at 60 minutes, but seeing how its 60 minutes of improv with only two actors, they did have to drag some of the scenes and plot twists out longer than I would have liked. Two 30 minute shows probably would have kept a little more energy, but I suppose the concern is that if you see two missions featuring Agent Thunder you'd realize too quickly that the missions are kind of general templates with the details just rearranged here and there to set up the same basic action and story setpieces (which, in fairness, the post-Goldfinger Bond movies were equally guilty of doing and tried desperately to also keep you from noticing).

While I'm a little loathe to engage in it myself, this would increase the crowd participation which is a staple of improv and oddly missing from these shows: once the audience gives the initial noun-adjective combination that sets up the overall mission parameters, you're really just watching an unscripted on-the-fly narrative. While both actors at relatively decent at the improv thing, no audience participation leaves a bit of that meat still sitting on the bone.

It's clear as you watch it that Vetsch is better at coming up with new gags and plot developments on the fly than Ness is, so as a result the former "subs in" more often than the latter: the actors tap out and swap characters every time one of them stumbles and needs a mulligan, which helps keep the show from stalling as one actor has trouble improvising the next scene, but also makes it extremely difficult for the audience to keep track of who is whom and what precisely is going on. Wait, is Vetsch playing Thunder right now and Ness is the supervillain? Or was that what was happening before the most recent tapout?

That Vetsch, much larger than Ness, is able to pick up and carry him while Ness cannot do the reverse, means that in the numerous situations where that physical act is required, a tapout occurs immediately making the audience confusion even greater. Outside of the upper-body-strength imposed lifting and carrying sequences, the two actors do have a lot of experience and skill in the WWF-style action scenes (as featured in the trailer), which are a highlight of the show. If only their dual dialog and scenario generating skills were equally honed and coordinated, then Agent Thunder could really be an engaging and entertaining experience.

As it was, it was good but not great improv, though I overheard some rather enthusiastic endorsements from outside the show, so it seems to be a decent crowd-pleaser for the crowd I went with.

The one final note is while the sound engineer did seem to have a decent skill for finding and using special effects which were related to the improv scenarios which the actors found themselves engaged in, they also had a live musician on stage who really only served to block the sightlines of some of the crowd. If you aren't going to utilize a resource like that, why even bother?

Click here to go back to the 2023 Edmonton Fringe portal page.

Edmonton Somali Eritrean community loses their safe haven

Hey, remember last week when I was amazed the Edmonton Caribbean Festival went off without any violence despite the identities of the parties involved?

why is it when the second-most violent of all races stops being violent when you throw all of them together in a giant pile?

Well travel forward in time one week, and look what happened:

The evening protest came after tensions boiled over hours earlier on the city’s north side, forcing officers to don their riot gear.

The riot act was read, which police said gives people a fair warning to clear out before officers move in to break up a conflict.

“We did have to provide that warning so that people, folks, bystanders have the opportunity to leave and everyone involved has an opportunity to leave on their own — and to notify them that there may be some type of tactics used by police so there’s fair warning,” Dalziel said. “Yes, we did have to do that today.”

Oh those wacky Eritreans, always involved in violent confrontations against..well, apparently other Eritreans.

Both the anti-Eritrea demonstrators and festivals organizers went their separate ways and police said at that point, there were no significant issues at the initial location.

That quickly changed.

The soccer match — billed as an event meant to promote world peace — instead descended into chaos Saturday afternoon, forcing the Edmonton Police Service to send in a large number of officers in tactical gear to keep two fighting sides separated.

At approximately 11 a.m., police responded to 132nd Avenue and 113A Street, where the festival and demonstration had reportedly moved to the park at Rosslyn School.

The Canada World Peace Soccer Tournament was taking place at several locations in north Edmonton on Saturday, including that park.

For those wondering if they think this is a familiar story with African filth bringing their pathetic Dark Continent pathologies onto our city streets...no, this is a different one than last time. Oh, or the time before that.

Another Residential School success story

"There is an obvious desperation to find one child’s body to confirm a manufactured narrative, a narrative about the past constructed to inflict emotional trauma today. This is a defining element of resistance culture."

Five years ago your lifestyle was evil, five years from now your lifestyle would be evil (but we all know what will take care of that problem for us)

Update: It got cancelled YET AGAIN.

Well, for the first time since 2018, sodomites are again taking to the streets to march to desperately try and convince you of the big lie: that they are "born that way" and didn't choose a disgusting lifestyle choice which they can be cured of.

Which in theory should mean for the first time since 2018 I got to make the greatest semiannual joke in history:

I thought the AIDS Walk was in September!

Of course, for five years (something about trannies and police) the poofters couldn't figure out how to march without "excluding" somebody somehow. And in that time, if you can believe it, the AIDS walk managed to die off. I guess it must have been pillow biting with the wrong other parade or something.

In the meanwhile, the Evil Edmonton Uranists Club (EEUC, the same sound we make when they try to talk to us and those long "s" sounds leave spittle on our jacket) moved their thing from early June to late August, until they suddenly realize the problem with spreading their ranks and/or perianal region too thin.

So yet again, they march, because when deep down you know your brain really is broken and the perversions you have adopted are unquestionably wrong and immoral, you have to seek and demand endless external validation before you decide that a life of ass piracy can only be cured with a sharp object pressed lovingly and firmly into your own wrists.

The best part is, it's still not enough. San Fransisco, hide it as best they can, has one of the worst suicide rates in the Western world. Even when faggots surround themselves with fellow fudge packers, and receive nothing but endless praise and support, it still isn't enough to stop them from realizing they have made a wicked choice and choosing to escape it through the grave!

As is the case of all mental health problems, pederasty drives people to suicide. Cure the disease (or at least treat it: try to make them talk a tle less effeminately just for a fun change of pace), and then you solve the problem. Refuse to cure the disease, or march down the street saying how awesome it is that you are diseased and that your child molesting urges are just a wonderful part of the tapestry of who you really are, and then your mind and soul will continue to wither and die and become unworthy of being designated as human until the point where you realize its only your flesh which hasn't kept pace.

Bonus absolutely not related I don't know why you would think that oh wait nevermind of course you spotted the connection immediately: as the social contagion phenomenon is making more and more kids think they're either tinkerbells or trannies, and as "awareness and funding for mental health" continues to climb, the suicide rate keeps on getting worse.

The more you march, the faster you die. 

Don't stop in the afternoon, keep walking until you hit Winnipeg. Then we'll need to worry no more about your sperm burping advocacy.

File under WTA things you never thought you'd see

Last week was the Canadian Open in Montreal, and one of the big stories from the weekend (where I was busy and missed it) was that the music man screwed up during the semifinal match.

Which is something, because  I did get to watch some of the Round of 64 action, which featured a sneak preview: the umpire had to admonish the sound guy. I can't remember which match is was, but the chair ump said "thank you for the music" and a few seconds later the sound system died down. I thought it was weird at the time.

Turns out I could have blogged about it that night and been a little more prescient. Sorry about that.

Bonus content: it might be a North American thing. Wednesday evening just before Mayar Sharif (4.5/10) and Coco Grauff (5.5/10) took the main court a loud remixed version of "Bittersweet Symphony" to pump up the crowd could be heard reverberating on the TV feed...of those of us watching the Elise Mertens (7.5/10) v. Marie Bouzková (8/10) over on the alternate ("Porsche") court. Nobody dared mention the noise these players had to play through.

Edmonton Fringe Theatre Festival 2023: The Answer is Fringe

The question: "what hasn't really been a thing since 2019?"

The Answer is Fringe.

That's right,  after seeing only one play in 2017, missing out entirely in 2018, and of course the last two years, the Fringe is back. This year I hope to attend at least a couple of days, though work is pretty likely going to get in the way by the middle of the festival. That means, the long awaited play reviews will return.

Last year all I could get in was a review of the grounds, as pretty much everything fun was still on hold thanks to the same morons (ie. leftists) who put on the festival. This year with any luck there will be a little more: some reviews, some analysis, and of course as always there's the same rule:

No fags.

Finally as the festival gets underway, knowing full well what will be announced at the beginning of every show, let's start this off with a land acknowledgement:

The Edmonton Fringe takes place on white man's land. This has always been white man's land, before his arrival this was an empty continent filled with banished Mongolians who achieved nothing other than stealing the untouched land from the previous wave of untouching Mongolians. Everything great that has been built on this land came from the white man, and his glory over it we acknowledge here today.

Fringe review: Agent Thunder, You Only Laugh Twice
Fringe review: Cabaret of Murder
Fringe review: Whisky Flicks
Fringe review: AWOL

The "C" in "CISN" stands for cuck

Hey, remember when Jason Aldean came to Edmonton and it was a huge deal? Just before COVID he was a big deal in Oshawa, and he's going to be playing Toronto next month. He's been a big deal in country music for about a decade now, and of course he was the act that was playing the Route 91 Harvest festival when Stephen Paddock shot the place up for reasons nobody ever really got that interested in discovering.

Of course, many of you may only know him from the fact that a few weeks back one of his songs has been denounced as horribly racist.

The song was released in May, though controversy was reignited when the country artist released the accompanying music video this month.

Aldean shot the music video for the song in front of Maury County Courthouse in Columbia, Tenn., the site where a Black man named Henry Chaote was dragged behind a car by a white mob before he was lynched in 1927. The courthouse also served as a backdrop for the 1946 Columbia race riots, when Tennessee Highway Patrol officers stormed a Black neighbourhood in the wake of a controversial court case.

The music video includes footage of Black Lives Matter protests, cut together with visuals of Aldean singing in front of the courthouse. The video also featured clips of violent muggings, leading some critics to argue that Aldean was conflating protests against police brutality with violent crime.

Country Music Television (CMT) pulled the music video off the air amid the uproar. The video had been playing on the broadcaster’s rotation through the weekend before it was removed on Monday, according to Billboard.

Aldean earlier defended his song in a long statement posted to Twitter (which is currently rebranding as “X”). He wrote that “there is not a single lyric in the song that references race or points to it.”

“I can try and respect others to have their own interpretation of a song with music- this one goes too far,” he continued.

“Try That In A Small Town, for me, refers to the feeling of a community that I had growing up, where we took care of our neighbors, regardless of differences of background or belief.”

You might note that the article in question was from CISN 103.9, Edmonton's long-running country music FM station. When the Aldean story broke and the song climbed to the top of the charts, one of the first things I checked was CISN's recent playlist, which covers a hundred or so songs at a time. [as you're about to see, he has a spreadsheet which gives this answer instantly and he doesn't bother to check that it contained 108 songs at the time of this export... -ed]

Not a single Jason Aldean song had been on their playlist. Not one. A great big goose egg from one of the most popular active country music stars, on an Alberta country music station.

Well, I checked again yesterday and while there are actual Jason Aldean songs playing again, "Try That in a Small Town" is still not one of them.

Above you can see the PivotTable results of comparing all of the songs with all of the artists (note: I've filtered out any song or artist which only appears once). Aldean appears four times now in the recently played list: "Burnin' It Down", "You Make It Easy", "When She Says Baby", and "She's Country". Luke Combs, Kane Brown, and Morgan Wallen are the only artists who appear more often than Aldean in the playlist.

As of this week it's still #22 on Country Charts USA, and it appears that CISN has refused to play it entirely. As you can see from their count of playing Comb's "Fast Car" (itself accused of racism, of course) and "Love You Anyway" they aren't afraid to only play the most recent big hits of otherwise large acts. And likewise that of these 108 songs [see? -ed] no less than eighteen of them are the same six songs done three times each (I'll let you do the math on this one), it's not like CISN can argue that they had just played the song and wanted to diversify their playlist.

No, this is CISN cowardly hiding from morons arguing in bad faith. The correct answer when somebody whines to you that "this song is racist" is "what did you say you retarded nigger? I can't hear you over this awesome^† tune".

^†It's worth noting you do this even if, as is the case here, the song isn't actually all that good. It's a Danish cartoon issue at this point: you play it loud if for no other reason than you're being instructed not to play it at all.

There is only one acceptable thing to do in this situation: go to the CISN studio and try to murder the inhabitants with fire. Irony is our best weapon.

CariWest 2023

After a few lockdown-closed years, the Edmonton Caribbean^† Festival is back this year with a vengeance. Even the annual parade is back (unlike for Klondike Days) and while its length and spectacle are lower than previous years, the main event at Churchill Square (see image at the top) is back in action.

^† I believe somewhere buried in the official name it's called the Afro-Caribbean festival, since there was a huge representation from Trinidad, St. Lucia, Barbados, Haiti, and Jamaica...and basically zero representation from Mexico, Venezuela, Dominican Republic, Puerto Rico, Costa Rica, Columbia, or Nicaragua. Indeed even within the countries, blacks aren't even the ethnic majority in Trinidad and Suriname (those would be Indians as in East Indians) yet they comprise the entire (apparent) cultural and demographic breadth of the region.

And as is typical for the Caribbean Festival, if you think racial stereotypes are wrong and misguided your worldview gets absolutely destroyed, because every negative thing about niggers you ever thought (minus one glaring example) comes true.

Let's start with the parade. Or rather, let's start with the parade despite the parade not starting. It's been over a decade that I've been pointing out that the race notorious for always being late for work (and/or slow drivers) also can't start a parade within half an hour of the widely agreed and published start time. It was almost 1pm this year before the parade finally made its way onto Jasper Avenue, leaving thousands of people unproductively sitting around when they could have taken extra time to make a better breakfast or mow that one annoyingly small piece of lawn that keeps getting put off.

Waiting on the Robert E. Lee lazy blacks to get their act together

On top of that, both at the grounds and annoyingly on the parade path itself were numerous examples of the "Blacks and the Domination of Social Space" effect I recently reposted after the original source was scrubbed from the internet. You couldn't stand a foot onto the street without some uppity nigger apparently cursed with poor eyesight and unable to watch the parade from the relatively empty sidewalks ten feet from you in either direction standing directly in front of you for a minute, watching his friends who he all knows marching by, only to run further down and repeat the process to some other unwitting victim.

Speaking of which, I posted way back in 2006 how it was creepy on transit when you realize every nigger in Edmonton knows each other. And yep, you saw a ton of that both at CariWest and on the parade route. Which I suppose may tie into the one thing that was conspicuously absent from this and most CariWest festivals: why is it when the second-most violent of all races stops being violent when you throw all of them together in a giant pile? I honestly don't (yet) have a strong answer to this, but the theory that you know that if another nigger wants to kill you, you stay away from the festival its 99.999% likely he will attend, in such a way that you may roll the dice on random bars. It could also be that the African community acts much differently than the Afro-Caribbean community, but those of you Third Edge of the Sword blog historians know that doesn't match with the known facts either.

So since we just covered the one stereotype that got skipped, let's switch to the next one that didn't: blacks have incredibly poor governance and organizational skills, possibly related to them being literally retarded. The systems and the implementation of systems at Churchill Square were ridiculous.

1. You had to buy drink tickets in order to get (alcoholic) drinks. Of the central tents, one of them had a helpful sign on the desk (immediately covered up by the throngs of people) labelled "cash or card". There was literally no other signage. How much were tickets? Was it the same tickets for beer or hard alcohol or wine? How many tickets do the drinks cost? None of that information was available, which meant that as more and more people began lining up for drinks around 2pm every single person who went up to the front had to waste time asking those exact questions. There was a hilariously annoying period in which nobody was lined up for drinks because no less than 8 people were there to serve you beverages while only 2 people were selling you the tickets, a process which was taking far longer (due to the signage).
2. Related to (1) is that there was no overhead "drink ticket line" sign that people could read after more than 3 people got into the line, leaving no shortage of people confused by what was going on. The white people in attendance seemed to give off a "you either work here or you can figure out what's going on and explain it to me" vibe as we were consistently approached to explain what we were doing in line and what everything meant. Much like the earlier entries, I guess I can't complain when the stereotype ("whites are the solution to my problem") turns out to be accurate.
   
3. You had to buy food tickets in order to get food and nonalcoholic drinks. Here at least there were two tents on opposite corners of the square which could serve you, a big sign calling them food tickets, and even had signs telling you how much tickets cost! This was a win, so you might wonder why its here: the answer is that the food tickets weren't also the drink tickets, which caused endless consternation to single people who couldn't do the "you buy our food tickets, you buy our drink tickets" trick. It would have also been nice to know that 4-8 food tickets were required for most items, but I feel like I'm quibbling.
4. What I'm certainly not quibbling about were the design of the lineups. The main drink lines in particular had three (3) velvet plastic ropes separating the patrons into four (4) lines, but when you got to the front there were five (5) people taking your drink order, so in general the left line moved far faster than any other. On the north side of the tent, two (2) ropes separated you into three (3) lines, and at the front were only two (2) people taking your order, causing endless debates regarding who was next in line as two lines suddenly found themselves both feeling entitled to the same guy. Eventually they did move the ropes to close off the middle aisle and the line/bartender ratio was normalized...until about 4pm suddenly they put a third staff member there and again you had two (2) lines and three (3) bartenders.
   
5. Much like Taste of Edmonton, there were food vendors both along 99th Street/Rue Hull East of Churchill Square and also 100th Street West of Churchill Square. Yet inexplicably you couldn't take alcohol past the Eastern boundary of 100th Street, leaving half the food vendors unable to offer their services to patrons wandering around with their drinks.
6. This may not strictly be an organization thing, but why don't they have performers who know that when the speakers aren't loud enough for you, the solution is to ask the sound guy to increase the volume and not scream louder and louder until your already-questionable Caribbean babble becomes completely unintelligible? Literally one guy all afternoon/evening asked the sound guy to change his volume.
   

For all the issues though, it's good to see another of Edmonton's festivals come back to normal -- the parade wasn't as big as previous years, as I noted above, but the rest of the experience was pretty much back to 2017 levels. And while it will never be normal to me that a Caribbean Festival includes tons of tributes to Zimbabwe and none to Honduras, a good time seems to have been had by all. Plus, for added bonus, the drink tent gave you a plastic straw!

See you next year...at 12:40 at the earliest.

Nothing but net sass

What's it like when nerds fight each other?

Well, it's about like you'll see on this ThePirateBay page, where a team which published a cracked version of a particularly crappy Sims 3 expansion pack a little later than another team did.

We want to reply to your words SKIDROW The fact we released our proper release 41 days after your crack simply has to do with the fact that our members have a real life too and don't spend all their time playing each and every game pred the day or week they are out. We did notice your pathetic crack a few weeks afterwards when one of our members decided to try the game, using your release. The entire proper crack for this release was done in about two days and then thoroughly tested for two more. Your reaction it is not suitable to release a proper after such a long time is understandable but nevertheless it doesn't change the fact your release screamed for a "crapfix", old doesn't mean forgotten

Next, you mix up a fact that a loader is technically the same like an emulation and try to claim everybody is only releasing unclean cracks. What was it about the evolution ladder guys? It seems your lab monkeys have taken over the entire leadership of the group since the real SKIDROW died in 1993. This can be the only reason you have come to the conclusion that a modified startup flow is the same like the immitated behavior of a protection, like an EMU does it

So say what you want, you can talk all day but the simple fact remains, you made a pathetic excuse for a xlive crack that would make any true reverser feel sick to his stomach. You then try to change the subject and move focus (understandable as this must be embarrassing for you) to Steam CEG cracks All those who are interested in the next generation of your famous work can examine Hitman Absolution, here you really teach the whole scene about the art of reversing by releasing an unmodifed protected exe (if you need proof check the authenticode signature of the exe, signed by valve) which is nothing but a 100% Authentic loader solution

To quote Elaine Benes: "[caterwaul]" (if you watched the closed captioning on Netflix).

The question nobody is asking

How did the bird learn to mimic the sounds of a woman being raped to death in the first place?

Faggot loving pansy man unable to keep his wife satisfied like the pathetic piece of shit he is

 

The big news today is that Rat Bastard 2.0, as pretty much every conservative pundit has known for almost four years while the far-left media denied it at every turn, is now officially divorcing from the future Mrs. Idris Elba.

The couple, who’ve been the faces of numerous glossy magazine covers, released a statement saying they made this decision “after much thought and careful consideration.” The statement seems in stark contrast to the confident image Trudeau has continuously cultivated both during his campaign and tenure as Prime Minister.

Despite the couple’s plea for privacy, some question whether Trudeau can effectively juggle the duties of his office amidst personal turmoil. His leadership has been questioned before for his handling of various domestic issues and international affairs. This separation announcement raises further doubts about his ability to lead the nation effectively during trying times.

While details of the separation remain undisclosed, it’s clear that this development further complicates the public image of a leader whose popularity has been consistently tested. The announcement may serve to further alienate those who have long been critical of Trudeau’s leadership and the seeming disconnection between his public persona and the realities of his governance.

As many (including Beaxte) have pointed out, when Rat Bastard 2.0 doesn't give two shits about our desire for privacy or freedom from snooping government agents, then he and his slutty ex-wife and his genetically poisoned spawn don't get nor deserve the smallest ounce of privacy in return.

Viva Frei has the best review on the subject:

It was a well-known “secret” that despite the staged and totally insincere videos of he and Sophie kissing, despite his totally grotesque social-media posts, Trudeau’s marriage was a sham.

Equally well-known rumors, above and beyond his philandering, was the “going both ways”.… pic.twitter.com/cbrbimy4YZ

— Viva Frei (@thevivafrei) August 2, 2023

And with the final word, as always, the newspaper of record: At publishing time, the Canadian press was mourning what has been deemed a terrible setback for interracial marriage in Canada.