Hopefully Frogs won't choke on wheat

The 97th Grey Cup is taking place later today from Calgary, Alberta.

It has to be, by far, the worst Grey Cup lineup in a decade. Two decades. Perhaps three decades. [perhaps 9.7 decades? -ed]

The Montreal Surrendering Cheese Monkeys Alouettes are taking on the Saskatchewan Sister-kissers Roughriders. Every year I hope that neither team wins more than a couple token games (they do, after all, play each other), and this year karma has awarded me the dubious joy of watching the two of them face off for the biggest prize in football: the Grey Cup.

As we look at this game, I'm reminded of what I wrote two years ago when I previewed the 2007 Grey Cup:

Now true, my loyalties in all sports tend to lie out in the west (my favourite AL team is Seattle, my 3rd favourite NL team is the Dodgers, etc.) But in this case, I'm willing to make a massive exception. Why? Because like all Edmontonians, I know more than a few passionate Saskatchewan Roughrider fans. I'm sure all of you out in Blogland can say the same. The problem is, if Saskatchewan wins the Grey Cup, we're going to hear about it for years. Maybe decades...

Hey, remember when we won the Grey Cup back in 'ought-seven?

Those wheatlanders will remind us of their victory possibly for the rest of our natural lives -- or until the Riders win their 4th (yes, 4th) Grey Cup in a decade or two -- and I for one don't want to hear that.

Well the thought of watermelon-wearing NDP-voting Che loving and Bush bashing Saskatchewan fans celebrating two Grey Cups in three years, rather than three decades, is just too much to bear. So I'm about to do something that makes me feel almost as dirty as that time I stopped a piece of heavy equipment from crushing a sodomist. I am going to...hmm, now that I try this is hard to type....uh, do I have to? Excuse me, I'm hiding in a corner.

[Feynman and Coulter's Love Child is cheering for Montreal to win the Grey Cup. -ed]

Just even reading that makes mes want to take a shower, except I have a froggy bath poof (no, seriously, thats what you call it, I'm not making a faggot joke here...well, not originally) so obviously that will remind me too much of Montreal.

I decided a few months ago to go to the Bush show, and forego my Grey Cup plans. This seems now like the smartest decision I ever made. God this game today is going to be brutal.

Bonus Grey Cup coverage: Last year I previewed the 96th Grey Cup and I do a lot of good Montreal insulting in the followup review.