2019-03-14

Eugenie Who?


As I type this, Angelique Kerber is defeating a shaved ape in straight sets (after winning the first 7-6) at the Indian Wells quarter-finals.

But the story of the tournament isn't either of the ugly monkeys who keep U.S. sportswriters employed. It's probably 7/10 Belinda Bencic who topped 7/10 Naomi Osaka to get to the quarter-finals on the weekend, and then Karolina Pliskova to move onto the semis.

The second biggest story though has to be Bianca Andreescu (7.5/10), who last month surpassed the 10/10 Eugenie Bouchard as Canada's best female tennis player. This week she herself moved into the semifinals herself by defeating 7.5/10 Gabriñe Muguruza. Canadian tennis is now in an Anna Kournikova/Maria Sharapova scenario, where the hotter and famous player has to give way to a younger less attractive girl in the cold hearted reality known as "you may actually need to be good at tennis now and again". Bianca Andreescu is certainly no Maria Sharapova, but she's decent looking enough and can actually win a match or two. It's certainly better than the poor American situation where two shaved ape sisters win the matches while Nicole Gibbs has to languish in relative obscurity.

For now, Andreescu will take on Ukrainian hottie Elina Svitolina (9.5/10). She already, by getting to the semifinals, has in this tournament surpassed her lifetime earnings.

Now she just needs to do some more suggestive photo shoots.

2019-03-12

For Shame, #YEG

Attention Edmontonians: we have failed the internet.

I'm not being accusatory here, I have failed in the exact same way, but I'm here to help rectify the situation. I was binge watching some "You Gotta Eat Here" over the weekend and I noticed that the iconic Barb and Ernie's Old Country Inn has not yet been featured. This is a shame, the only reason I don't eat a Bratwurst Eggs Benedict from there every week is that sometimes I don't end up drinking on Whyte, Tasty Tom's exists, and I have started making them at home. So that's a second black mark on the show (the host, of course, being the main one), but that's not Edmonton's shame.

I also notice that DaDeO (not Dadeo's as everybody calls it) is also not featured on the show, while Louisiana Purchase is. It's reminiscent of Colby Cosh's line about how Patrick Roy isn't even the best goalie born in 1965: they went to Edmonton's second-best Cajun/Creole restaurant. High Level diner is another blog post entirely.

Our shame, instead, is the YouTube view counts. "The what?" I hear you say...well, Barb and Ernie have a YouTube Channel...and the view counts are absolutely pathetic.



I'm going to put them on a loop next time I run to the grocery store and you should too, because the couple who gave Edmonton decades of eggs benedict joy deserve more than 38 views on their travel videos.

2019-03-10

2019 Briar Finals: Alberta Vs. Alberta

As I type this, the first end has just concluded of the Finals of the 2019 Briar from Brandon, Manitoba. Team Alberta (Kevin Koe, Calgary) is facing off against Team Wildcard (Brendan Bottcher, Edmonton) in a match that I'm sure will confuse the hell out of the Americans. If Bottcher wins it will be the first time a Wild Card wins the Briar.

Most critically, the winner of this match gets to be Team Canada at the upcoming World's Mens Curling Championships in Lethbridge later on this month.

2019-03-08

Samsung Galaxy S10 release

Today, after an abnormally long and hyped wait, the Samsung Galaxy S10 was released. People who pre-ordered should have started receiving their devices, and stores should begin having stock.

Featuring 2-3 rear cameras, as close to 100% of the front of the device being screen as seems humanely possible, and blue light reduction the S10 comes in three varieties: the S10e (paired down version), the S10 standard (my personal choice), and the S10+ almost-phablet. So I was thinking to upgrade to the new phone, but unfortunately since the CRTC did away with contracts, essentially the two choices are buy unlocked or mortgage the phone through more expensive ($115-$140/mo) phone plans.

The price is probably what I see keeping this from being the "iPhone killer" Samsung and most Android fans were hoping for. After all, a fully loaded Galaxy S10+ is a whopping $2,209.99.

Which made me wonder: how much is a fully loaded Chevrolet S10 setting you back these days? The answer? $2,200. Yep, that's right: the phone costs you more than an (admittedly old with high mileage) pickup truck. And while Samsung doesn't offer financing in Canada, in the US is does.

Bonus coverage: Reviewers get so much cool hardware to look at, are they giving sensible reviews for midrange devices?

If you’re used to apps opening in 0.1 seconds and suddenly they take 0.5 seconds to open, you might feel this phone is slow and laggy, while someone that’s used to a 4-year-old phone that takes 3 seconds to open an app will think it’s blazing fast. Who is right then? Well, both are, it’s all a matter of perspective. And this is where the issue lies.
Missing features are also a lot more impactful to those that have come to rely on them. If you have a wireless charger on your desk at work and your nightstand at home, using a phone without wireless charging is forcing you to revert to older habits, making the phone feel almost ancient. Meanwhile, most users interested in mid-range phones probably won’t use wireless charging for at least a few more years.

It’s hard to give a price to each feature so you can fairly judge if the cheaper phone comes at the right price. Are camera lenses $150 a pop? Is wireless charging worth $100? What about the headphone jack that is now present in more budget devices than flagships? While you can often find the price for each hardware component, those don't translate 1:1 to the cost of the whole device.

Why We Seriously Need an iPhone Killer Sidebar  Like most non-Apple fanboys  I sort of detest the hipster magnets from Cupertino  I understand how they got popular  they make computers  and phones  for babies  People are idiots and really appreciate a single button  I still cannot get over that  that just dumbly does the things they are allowed to do  But there are serious implications to this that impact us all  I was at a party down in Summerside a few years ago where we were sharing some stuff with each other using Bluetooth  I had a Samsung S4  another guy had a Blackberry  K mpec had an LG Android phone  and Martok actually had a Windows Phone  I think there was another non-Samsung Android user too  Anyways some girl  it s always some girl  wanted to  tooth with us but we couldn t get her phone to connect  We were having troubles for the longest time until some Apple fanboy at the party helpfully advised us that Apple can only Bluetooth with other Apples  Except that s not how he phrased it  he instead said  Android isn t compatible with Apple Bluetooth   But that s got it exactly backwards  Apple is the thing not compatible with EVERYBODY ELSE  I heard the same thing about chargers a while ago too  a girl said she didn t have a  Samsung charger   I was very clear explaining to her that she was totally wrong  it s not a  Samsung charger  it s a MicroUSB charger and its a standard across all cellphones that don t have a picture of half finished fruit on the back  When you go to Bianca Amour s and see  Samsung  written on Micro USB chargers you should blame the Apple people  And that s before we remember Apple doesn t even let you sideload apps

Why We Seriously Need an iPhone Killer Sidebar: Like most non-Apple fanboys, I sort of detest the hipster magnets from Cupertino. I understand how they got popular, they make computers (and phones) for babies. People are idiots and really appreciate a single button (I still cannot get over that) that just dumbly does the things they are allowed to do. But there are serious implications to this that impact us all. I was at a party down in Summerside a few years ago where we were sharing some stuff with each other using Bluetooth. I had a Samsung S4, another guy had a Blackberry, K'mpec had an LG Android phone, and Martok actually had a Windows Phone, I think there was another non-Samsung Android user too. Anyways some girl (it's always some girl) wanted to 'tooth with us but we couldn't get her phone to connect. We were having troubles for the longest time until some Apple fanboy at the party helpfully advised us that Apple can only Bluetooth with other Apples. Except that's not how he phrased it: he instead said "Android isn't compatible with Apple Bluetooth". But that's got it exactly backwards: Apple is the thing not compatible with EVERYBODY ELSE. I heard the same thing about chargers a while ago too, a girl said she didn't have a "Samsung charger". I was very clear explaining to her that she was totally wrong: it's not a "Samsung charger" it's a MicroUSB charger and its a standard across all cellphones that don't have a picture of half finished fruit on the back. When you go to Bianca Amour's and see "Samsung" written on Micro USB chargers you should blame the Apple people. And that's before we remember Apple doesn't even let you sideload apps.