Totally Unforseen Shocking Unpredictable Surprise Revelation: Chocolate milk edition

File under duh: banning chocolate milk makes students less healthy.

This is, of course related to bike helmets. Wearing a helmet may increase your chance of getting into an accident and increase the severity of it. But more critically, forcing kids to wear bike helmets reduces their cycling rates. Fewer biking kids means more Xbox360 kids, and that means fatter kids. What was supposed to be helping them is instead hurting them.

Likewise chocolate milk. I love chocolate milk, myself. I usually can suck back a 4L jug of it within days. White milk? My 1L usually gets half thrown out long after the expiration date has come and gone. White milk tastes sort of disgusting. Chocolate milk tastes delicious. It has some more calories than non-chocolate milk, fine. But seeing as how it also has protein and contains two appetite suppressors, maybe kids getting a few extra milk calories to offset the Snickers bar calories they were going to have later isn't such a bad idea?

The research backs this up: Cornell University discovered that kids drank less milk, wasted more milk (nobody can finish an entire 250mL tetra-pack of milk without vomiting, that's basic science), and lost out on nutrients when "the swap" occurred.

Just like helmet laws, these policy changes are going to be described in the media as "well-intentioned". That's absolute rot. These aren't "well-intentioned" changes at all: they are despicable changes made by liberals, who are despicable people. They are trying to take away freedom of choice in order to serve some fascist tendency.

Even if it worked, it would be contemptible and beyond acceptable. But it doesn't even do that. Send First Lady Monkey packing, and let your kids have chocolate milk and no bike helmets.

See other blog entries under this recurring theme.