144th Running of the Kentucky Derby

At about 4:46pm this afternoon Edmonton time, the 2018 Kentucky Derby will be run. As always, Third Edge of the Sword is happy to participate with mint juleps, funky hats, and making fun of that faggot NBC Sports puts on their Derby pre-show.

This year will feature a couple minor differences from previous years, a couple surprises including actual betting on the event. Can the current favourite Justify be the first horse since the Chester Arthur administration to win the Derby after skipping out on racing last year? Will a Middle Eastern horse finally win it all this year? Can an Albertan die from over-consumption of mint juleps?

With race time looming, here's my unofficial picks for the fastest two minutes in sports other than that time an NFL negro was caught stealing phone chargers from hotel lobbies:

Win: Magnum Moon
Place: Justify
Show: Bolt d'Oro
4-3-2-1: Audible