Guns are necessary to defend us from the evils of both government and sportswriters

TSN.ca columnist Scott MacArthur is mentally retarded.

What other conclusion can you draw from this insane column in which he basically objects to the recent Rangers and Blue Jays suspensions because of "old school" thinking like...cracking down on incessant rule breaking in order to establish order.

Gibbons got three games because he’s a repeat offender. This isn’t the first time Gibbons has re-entered the playing field after being ejected earlier in a game. Such an affront was it that it warranted a suspension only five games less than Odor’s, who decided it was time to be Muhammad Ali on a baseball field.

Gibbons was suspended for returning to a game he was kicked out of. He's done it multiple times, therefore the suspension increases. Repeat offenders bear a more significant penalty than non-repeat offenders. This should not be a new concept to a human being. Google "three strikes law" if you need a real-world-stolen-from-baseball example (to bring right back 'round to baseball). It's hard to see what all this has to do with Cassius Clay, of course: the notion that a physical blow during a physical game should necessarily always always always be penalized more than the physical action of trespassing just hangs openly in the article and hopes that you (irrationally) agree with it.

Chavez gets three games because he hit Prince Fielder with a pitch in the bottom of the eighth. It’s an automatic suspension because warnings had been issued to both benches after Bush deliberately hit Bautista. Follow that logic. This magic “warning,” yeah, it’s time to scrap it. Enough is enough.

Bush, and remember the league has established his intent, doesn’t get suspended for hitting Bautista because it was pre-warning. Chavez gets nicked because he hit Fielder post-warning.

I'm not sure who gave MacArthur the line about "with all the celerity of a tortoise crossing the street" but it certainly wasn't him, because nobody who thinks to use "celerity"^† is also so functionally brain-fucking-dead that he can't grasp this concept either. MacArthur literally seems shocked that a suspension -- which is a higher penalty than a fine -- is issued out only in more serious cases^‡. Namely: continuing to hit batters with a pitch, which has been specifically warned against in order to avoid games escalating. This event, of course, is precisely what happened after those players flaunted the warning. Rather than say "oh, turns out the rules are there for a reason", MacArthur is still thinking it's somehow a crime against nature that Jesse Chavez didn't get away with making a situation worse even after being warned against it...a warning that came with an automatic suspension, so he knew the consequences going into it. Matt Bush didn't: he could have been fined or suspended or gotten away with it scott-free. The league fined him for deliberately hitting Bautista. MacArthur's insane bloodlust for more penalties for more Rangers doesn't make any sense. Bush deliberately hit a player in a circumstance where MLB sort of kind of discourages it. There are other circumstances where they recognize it can be more dangerous or more serious, and then they discourage it more. Just like you're allowed to break a guy's arm if he's repeatedly punching you, but not so much if he only did it once. Again, this is basic stuff taught in High School law courses.

Going back to the beginning, MacArthur has nothing but a slew of false equivalencies. Rangers manager Jeff Banister "was speaking vaguely about the situation" and didn't even get a fine, dammit! Meanwhile Gibbons merely enters a game he was ejected to and gets punished. What's up with that? Does MacArthur think that a random visitor to the TSN studios should be treated exactly as harshly as one who has a court order keeping him 175m away from Kate Beirness at all times? Probably not. But then, he's been known to let his pathetically tiny brain shut down completely when his home team is concerned, so what's another case?

Meanwhile, the mental midget isn't done yet...

It’s time to disincentivize the intentional hit-by-pitch as a method of retribution. It is old school silliness in the same vein as the U.S. Constitution’s second amendment, which was penned long before sawed off machine guns existed.

This moron already was showing himself on the same mental plane as a frying pan, and then he turns around and shows complete ignorance of American history, firearms, and philosophy all in a single line. A "sawed-off machine gun" wouldn't even work properly, for one. For two, the inalienable human right to bear arms is not dictated by the U.S. Second Amendment (for example, British and Canadian citizens have this same inalienable right codified in Common Law, and like all fundamental human rights^§ it isn't at the whim of lawmakers. Finally, any sensible reading of the Second Amendment involves U.S. citizens having the right to any weapon used by their military, including things far more powerful than machine guns.

Scott MacArthur is an anti-gun and anti-logic retard. No wonder he cheers for Toronto.

^† Since celerity is derived from Latin, you might think perhaps that he's just French, until you remember his last name.

^‡ MacArthur, if he could take the time away from sticking his own finger up his ass and then licking it thinking that it's a lollipop, might argue that the original hit-by-pitch is serious. I disagree, since I don't think hitting any Blue Jay with a projectile is serious, but most critically it can be serious without being more serious.

^§ More accurately, human right since there is only one human right, the inalienable right to properly.