2017-07-23

Eskimos versus Tiger Cats rewatch - 2017-07-20

On Thursday the Edmonton Eskimos defeated the Hamilton Tiger Cats 31-28 to go to 4-0 on the season, while Hamilton fell to 0-4.

But there's more to it than that. The Esks fell behind early and had trouble putting offense together for the first three quarters. At the start of the fourth quarter the Esks were down 25-13 and in danger of losing to the worst team in the CFL. A conversion kick fell short and a punt was blocked and scooped up for a Hamilton touchdown.

With 1:17 left in the game the Esks were just gaining possession on their own 30 and were down by 5 points. They proceeded to score a TD to take their first lead of the game, and then an interception on the final Hamilton drive sealed the deal.

It was a painful nailbiter to watch on Thursday: I don't think I touched my beer for much of the second half. On the other hand, now that the result is known it's very enjoyable to watch. So here it is.

2017-07-14

Abort everybody @LarryManch cares about

Every word of this is true and I stand fully by it. Larry Manch is a retarded leftist who has no problem killing innocent babies but reacts in horror about clinically aborting anybody else.



(Spoiler alert: that woman is probably named Tiffany)

2017-07-13

Fun with YouTube

.

2017-07-11

Wimbledon Quarter Finals

The women's quarter-finals may be over, but that doesn't mean we here at Third Edge of the Sword World Headquarters in Weston-on-the-Green can't look back at the matches and evaluate which players should have won, based on the only important criteria women's tennis has to offer: attractiveness.

Let's get the easy match out of the way:
Venus Williams (0/10) vs. Jelena Ostapenko (8/10):
As has been mentioned numerous times before, the William Sisters are the ugliest women in pro-tennis history. Looking every bit like the evolutionary holdovers they are, these shaved apes are the bane of any woman's tennis match. Ostapenko was having a great tournament until Tuesday's action, where unfortunately Venus won 6-3,7-5 in straight sets. Ostapenko herself is much better to look at (obviously a vast improvement) despite a baby face that makes it look like you're watching a little kid play dressup. Watching her impressive chest bursting out of her clothing certainly makes up for it though.

Magdaléna Rybáriková (7.5/10) vs. Coco Vandeweghe (8.5/10):
In this battle for the impossible to pronounce so I don't even try last names, the gorgeous blonde with the flat chest and very firm nipples goes up against the decent blonde with the nice legs (and a sort of flat chest). Vandeweghe takes the win here of course, though Rybáriková has sported a camel toe in almost every match I've ever watched her in, so I have a bit of a soft spot here for the Slovakian.

Svetlana Kuznetsova (6.5/10) vs. Garbiñe Muguruza (7/10):
Kuznetsova, the burly Russian who you're never 100% positive isn't going to turn out to be a Bruce Jenner, lost to Muguruza in straight sets (6-3,6-4) so we don't have to worry about admiring her legs but instinctively looking for an Adam's Apple for the rest of Wimbledon. Were it not for the Venus William handicapping, this match would have featured the lowest overall score. As it is, the Spaniard who sometimes can make you drool but more often looks very very attainable gets the nod. Seriously though, I've dated girls who looked roughly this good after an afternoon at the gym.

Simona Halep (8.5/10) vs. Johanna Konta (8.5/10):
Our highest overall score in this year's quarter-finals is also our tie: everybody's favourite big-chested Romanian goes up against the tall and lanky British player who dresses up like a 10 and hits the court like an 8 and occasionally gets angry and turns into a 4

Omar Khadr should be paid through the Phoenix Payroll System

The fallout from terrorist scumbag Omar Khadr's recent big cash payout continues.Far-left coward Ralph Gooddale actually apologized to the murdering terrorist who deserves to rot in a shallow grave, and the Liberal cabinet secretly colluded to rapidly pay-out Khadr despite the $100M+ settlement already against him in the United States, where the widow of the medic Omar Khadr the terrorist brutally murdered was hoping for financial compensation. The Evil Trudeau Liberal Government™, who can't figure out how to pay their useless government employees properly, managed to fast-track the big cash settlement to Omar Khadr, terrorist.

The public opposition to the deal is significant. Here in Alberta, where the murdering terrorist Omar Khadr is living on the taxpayer dime, 85% of those polled say it was a mistake giving the terrorist who needs to be shot in the face $10.5M. That's worth noting: those most at risk of being the next victims of Omar Khadr, murdering terrorist and adherent of a child-raping Satanic death cult are also the those most averse to paying the murdering terrorist money for "treatment" at Guantanamo Bay that was far better than the piece of shit deserves.

The push-back continues. Notwithstanding retarded leftists like Peter Smith of Bright's Grove, Ontario the population is doing their part, from filing court documents demanding the Trudeau Government come clean about why they deliberately took action to prevent Tabitha Speer and Layne Morris from getting money the murdering terrorist owes them, to starting a crowdfunded campaign to give the Speer Family some of the money that they should be extracting from the mouldy carcass of Omar Khadr, terrorist.

Beyond that, there's nothing more you can do to deal with the payout. But it is vitally important for your own safety that you protect yourself from Omar Khadr, murderer and terrorist:

BE READY TO SHOOT OMAR KHADR IF HE GETS TOO CLOSE TO YOU. HE IS A TERRORIST AND A MURDERER. DO NOT ALLOW YOUR FAMILY TO SUFFER THE FATE OF TABITHA SPEER. PUT FIVE BULLETS IN HIS CHEST AND THEN CARVE CHRIST'S CROSS ON HIS FOREHEAD.

2017-07-09

Loser faggots like @TheJasonPugh will never win

Every word of this is the truth. Your lifestyle is illegitimate, your fake sodomite marriage will never be recognized by those of us who understand that it's all a lie, and I'm not afraid to snap you like a twig if you or any poofter lays a sodomitic finger on me. 24-0 record, pillow biter.

I'm 100% man. You: not so much.

2017-07-07

It's a dry heat. Also: not really hot

Yes that's right, Edmonton is presently experiencing a "heat wave".

Not meaning to diminish that it is supposed to be nice for the weekend, but things are bad when two days around 30°C is worthy of a "warning".

People in Arizona or Florida or Spain or even China are laughing at us right now. I hope we realize this.

2017-07-01

Free Agent Day. Snipe!!

Today is, along with Dominion Day, the first day of NHL free agency.

Along with so many other events, this used to be a big thing, until the new salary cappped CBA started to kill it.

With so many summer things going on and an NHL event that isn't as exciting as it used to be, there are probably going to be more people broadcasting than viewing.

It's going to be the trade deadline day all over again, which was also a massive boring disappointment. Remember, this actually happened..

Happy Dominion Day 2017


Today is Canada's 150 birthday.

Sorry, July 1 2017 is the 150th anniversary of signing the Constitution Act, 1867.

Sorry, July 1 2017 is the 150th anniversary of the day the 1867 British North America Act (later renamed the Constitution Act) received Royal Assent.

Okay, one last time.

July 1 2017 is the 150th anniversary of the date in which the British North America Act, 1867 came into force.

Okay, there, we have the technicalities right. Yes that's right, today is the day we celebrate that the British Dominion of Canada was founded. As a result, a half million of us or so are going to Parliament Hill itself to celebrate the day.

Hey, if I'm having to pay for it I might as well go!

So wherever you are in the world, be sure to celebrate Dominion Day and not 'Canada Day', a nonsense holiday created by the evil Pierre Rat Bastard Trudeau.

[don't worry, I've already given him hell for the picture up top not featuring a Red Ensign... -ed]

(Of course keep an eye on my Twitter feed as I will undoubtedly post a few pictures of the event. (Don't expect many pictures of hot girls in tight outfits, sadly, the weather looks more than a little unfriendly).