What's the deal with the stimulus, anyways?

President Monkey clearly states what he intends the stimulus to do. Just, you know, check when he says it:


Speaking of stimulus, less than 20% of the US stimulus has been spent, and Canada has possibly already left the recession. Good November choice, you American Idiots.

Twitter Milestones

Heh, that's a cool number of tweets. Why? Duh

[incidentally, that whole "montly summary of Twitter posts"? We're working on it. Stupid Excel. -ed]

Where was PMOTUS one year ago today?

Easy, he was Candidate Monkey still in those days, and he was in London England's Horse Guard Parade (a section of Horse Guard Park). He toured the area, got a bunch of cheers from anti-American Brits, and went away.

But he wasn't the only one in Horse Guard Park on July 26, 2008.

Somebody else was there as well.

Somebody far more intelligent.

Somebody far more qualified to be the U.S. President.

Somebody who also doesn't have an American birth certificate.

Me.

One year ago today I walked Horse Guard Parade. A few hours later, Barack the Copycat showed up. There goes the neighbourhood, I suppose.

Bonus Feynmand & Coulter's Love Child meets the 2008 Presidential Election event: On July 20th 2008, a few days earlier, both John McCain and I were at the Yankees/Athletics game.

Forty years ago today...at this very moment

And in all seriousness, it was 40 years ago today that this happened (on a Wednesday, as Star Trek oddly enough predicted two years ahead of time). Here are some quotes regarding the moon landing, including the disc of pre-recorded comments from around the world:

Hello Neil and Buzz, I am talking to you by telephone from the Oval Room at the White House, and this certainly has to be the most historic telephone call ever made from the White House.

I just can’t tell you how proud we all are of what you have done. For every American this has to be the proudest day of our lives, and for people all over the world I am sure that they, too, join with Americans in recognizing what an immense feat this is.
Because of what you have done the heavens have become a part of man’s world, and as you talk to us from the Sea of Tranquility, it inspires us to redouble our efforts to bring peace and tranquility to earth.

For one priceless moment in the whole history of man all the people on this earth are truly one—one in their pride in what you have done and one in our prayers that you will return safely to earth.
- President Richard M. Nixon

Man has conquered the moon and widened his horizons. The spaceship Apollo 11 is touching down on the surface of the moon and the first human beings are setting foot on it. The landing on the moon is the culminating achievement of a great scientific effort. That which could be captured only by the boldest imagination has now become a reality. With this historic event a new era in the life of mankind begins, and further achievements in the space world are certain to follow. We express our admiration to the valiant astronauts of Apollo 11 and to all those whose work made the conquest of space possible.
- Archbishop Makarios, President of Cyprus

May He whose glory the heavens declare grant that mankind may grow in the knowledge of His purposes as we probe into the secrets of His universe.
- Hugh Lawson Shearer, Prime Minister of Jamaica

Your bold venture commands admiration of government and people of Mauritius wish you God’s speed and happy perfect landing. Safe return.
- Seewoosagur Ramgoolam, Prime Minister of Maruitius

Update, 5:05pm:
And finally: way to go Buzz!

Post #1400, Baby!

Well, this blog is really pumping along isn't it? I'm not quite up for the countdown of things I've been up to, but here's some Fight Club from YouTube:

Greisbach statue

Steyn on movies and politics together

Mark Steyn replayed his column in the Spectator regarding the movie Ice Age.

Check out the opening paragraph:

A prehistoric squirrel has a problem: he's got a fabulous acorn, but how to bury it? The ground is frozen solid, and the twitchy little feller scampers from spot to spot in the vast icy wilderness, issuing baffled grunts through his snaggleteeth and growing ever more frenzied in his efforts to jam the thing into the earth. Finally he jumps up and down on it, hammering it into the frost, and setting off an avalanche.

Doesn't that sound like a good summary of the 2008 Presidential Election?

he's got a fabulous ACORN, but how to bury it?

That's as quick a summary on President Monkey's campaign I can think of. The Democrats and their media handlers reaction to Sarah Palin?

baffled grunts through his snaggleteeth and growing ever more frenzied in his efforts to jam the thing into the earth

And finally, what's the impact on the economy of Obama's election win?

Finally he jumps up and down on it, hammering it into the frost, and setting off an avalanche.

Hammering government money into General Motors and the banks and whoever's in line this week is certainly at risk of setting off an avalanche of economic ruin.

So how does the article end?

You know where it's going to go and, sure enough, pretty soon the mammoth, sloth and sabre-tooth are all helping each other out because 'that's what you do in a herd'. And, even though the sloth concedes 'we are the weirdest herd I've ever seen', that doesn't matter: just because you're an alternative herd doesn't mean you don't embody the best in traditional herd values. Is it a pitch for gay parenting? Probably. Is it anti-hunting? Definitely. 'If we save the baby, who do you think he's gonna hunt?' asks the sabre-tooth. 'Maybe if we save him he won't hunt us, ' suggests the sloth. But the tedious PC overlay is strangely poignant here, as if the characters are freighted with a sense of their own impending extinction. Yeah, I know that's not what most parents are looking for in a kids' cartoon, but it's something to think about in between the neurotic squirrel sequences.

Major Suckage

In case you were curious, the Danica Patrick "Speeding" commercial from GoDaddy.com? The one where you hoped that the two of them would make out?

It's lame.

Give me a reason to watch Enterprise. Any reason will do...

Well, okay, a topless Linda Park is a start...

Third Edge of the Sword visits the Calgary Stampede by the numbers

Strawberry lemonades consumed: 4
Candy apples consumed: 6
Rides rode: 2
Rides rode and not left feeling sick after: 1
Kilometres drove: 787
Photographs taken: 358
Photographs taken that don't feature a hot chick: 4
Hot asian chicks seen in skirts, cowboy hats, cowboy boots, and frilly tanktop: 190
Hot black chicks seen in skirts, cowboy hats, cowboy boots, and frilly tanktop: 2
Beers drank: 40
Beers drank that weren't disgusting fucking Budweisers: 5
Girls who grabbed my ass: 2
Girls who grabbed my ass without earlier pretending to be a dyke: 1
"Don't Mess with Texas" T-shirts: 4
Stagettes witnessed: 2
Marching bands witnessed: 6
Tweets from the Stampede Parade: 32
Pancake breakfasts attended: 0
Slices of pizza: 5
Slices of pizza enjoyed: 4
Time spent watching the actual Stampede: 0:00
Trips on the C-train: 6
Paid trips on the C-train: 2
Trips to Safeway: 2
Paid trips to Safeway: 0
Money spent not counting gas: $372.66
Trips to Peter's Drive-Thru: 0
Times I said "Oh baby": 628
Times somebody said "Oh baby" to me: 9

Hot Calgary Stampede Ass (parade edition)