At the risk of offending regular poster and soon-to-be-former-linker Woman Honor Thyself, Captain Capitalism comes to the rescue of single men everywhere with the trick to happiness: date a fat chick.
Instead of chasing after hot chicks that no doubt have wretched and unchangible personalities, we should be keeping a keen eye out for overweight women that you could see it that if they lost 20, 30, 50 pounds, etc., they'd be hot. And since society is anything but nice to fat chicks, you can practically be guaranteed that they know how to support themselves, they don't expect society to take care of them, they have personality and have had to develop some kind of intellect or skill in order to have a social life, just like the rest of us. It's literally only a matter of slimming them down.
Now while my painfully annoying experiences with women has taught me several things, I do have a critique of this plan. For one, the number of fat girls who could be hot if they lose 10 or 40(!) pounds is relatively limited. Take for example the Google Image search on "fat girls". There are a couple diamonds in the rough, particularly the misnamed "fat girls" on this site. But in general, girls like being hot. They like the attention being hot (or even semi-hot) gets them. Women do all sorts of idiotic and dangerous and expensive things to improve their looks (and believe me girls, we appreciate...well...we appreciate it a little but would really prefer if you did some of the attractiveness-enhancers that we liked...one or two or three examples come to mind), and those whose looks are not up to par are really at the limits of where their Laffer-inspired curve of physical capacity versus willingness to labour intersects.
For another, girls who do form improvements start to get the benefits afforded to attractive girls: male attention. Pretty quickly, the girl who previously was a nice shy respectable girl morphs into a sickening display of tawdry showoffism and cruelty to those who can't meet her financial desires. Once she starts looking like Paris Hilton, she'll start acting like Paris Hilton, and unless you can give her as much money as Paris Hilton, she'll do to you what most men in Los Angeles have done to Paris Hilton. Remember that physical beauty is a power-trip for women, and as always happens those who are suddenly thrust into power are much faster to abuse it than those who never possessed it.
Now the blog entry does give us a bit of a further insight:
Ask yourself the question, what is easier to change?So, uh, what's he saying here? Stick to girls who are under the age of 24? Hey, anything that says "the only problem with dating girl of 19 is that she's a year too old" can't be all bad!
A person's looks
or
A person's personality?
And now the merits of my genius plan becomes apparent. For while a person's personality is more or less set by the age of 24, their physical appearance is not. And while a person's personality can be changed, it is infinitely easier to change somebody's physical appearance.
(The other beautiful part of the post is this formula:
)Bonus Captain Capitalism and hot girl link: The story of the hot asian who reads The Economist and had hot economist friends. I don't mean to give away how the story ends, so if you're a girl I'll say read on. If you're a guy, you know the answer, so I'll confirm it using Wikipedia pages about economic theories:
(The first word of the last sentence in the second paragraph about The McCloskey critique of post-1940s neo-classical economics) (the two words following "individualism" in the last sentence of the first paragraph about Methodological individualism) (the seventh word in the 5th line of the entry on affine pricing) (the fourteenth word in the first assertion of The Theory of Moral Sentiments) (the tenth last word in the last sentence of the 6th paragraph {including the quotation} of the section on "Unresolved problems in general equilibrium") (the fifth to last word in the second paragraph of the "Interest" section of the article on Islamic Economics) (the sixth word in the second paragraph on Kaldor-Hicks efficiency) (the third word in the second paragraph of the "Introduction" section of the article on Price Elasticity of Demand) bitch.
