2021-06-02

The (return of) return of pubs

Maybe I'm atypical, but the reopening of pubs (June 2021 edition) in Alberta just doesn't seem as thrilling as the reopening of pubs (May 2020 edition).


Last year when things reopened I guess we actually believed the lying know-nothing "experts" who insisted that the "three weeks to flatten the curve" merely ran a little on the lengthier side. That reopening also involved a lot more re-opening than this week's as well: remember when you could sit inside a restaurant or bar (we at least got to on St. Patrick's Day)? Well that still hasn't "reopened" yet. You can only sit out on a patio, and with the 28+ weather the first two days of this "reopened" June that's left bars absolutely packed and tough to get into (since now even people who don't like sitting on patios are taking up precious patio space). For contrast, here's how it looked last year:
It wasn't yet the proper bar experience: we were all regularly extolled to sit 2m away from each other (Martok and Chang briefly debated pretending to be fags to justify sitting closer). To enter we had to (as mentioned) line up for what felt like an hour (it was 13 minutes and we were at the "front" of the line: it wasn't because of capacity but because of their requirement to scour the table and chairs we were about to use before we could use them), and then each of us individually quizzed on the topic of our health by a bouncer who clearly isn't good at numbers ("do you have a temperature of 108 degrees or higher?" "oh God no, my fever is 105 max!").

We weren't permitted up the bar and had to wait for a PPE clad waitress (still in a plaid skirt at least) to take our orders. But by Jove we got pints of beer. Real beer! In pint form! It was definitely surreal but appreciated: to minimize close contact and spittle the music was kept on a barely imperceptible level so people didn't have to talk loudly to be heard. There was a vaguely funereal feel to the evening because of the sparse crowds, quiet music, and the complete lack of pretty girls. Yes, the night out was more than a bit of a sausage fest, but it was a start.

Unfortunately, another aspect of last year doesn't seem as fun this time around:

Jason Kenney deserves a hearty round of applause for his decision to reopen pubs. Compared to places like California or Ontario we feel like we're trying to stop pretending this virus is the worst thing to happen on the planet. Places like Alberta or Wisconsin (temporarily) can be trailblazing leaders forcing other jurisdictions to follow suit and creating a bit of a reverse wave to counter the insanity that was the Great Lockdown.

Instead we get a weaksauce version of retarded Rachel Arab's "locked down until you die" plans...and no guarantee that things won't revert back in another week leaving bar and restaurant owners (and the rest of us) back in the lurch.