Welcome to something I haven't done in ages. No, not liveblogging.
Well, okay, that too. I'm talking about watching the Edmonton Oilers play hockey. Their game against San Jose starts in about 11 minutes. Last game I saw, we got smoked by Arizona 5-2. Let's see what they can get up to tonight....
8:25pm: Five minutes to go: Drew says the Oilers have been told by new head coach Todd Nelson "just go back out there after you make a mistake". I think the Oil have that down pat, seeing how I don't recall any third periods where the entire team stayed on the bench.
8:26pm: So far, nobody on either team has the mumps. This may be an NHL record.
8:30pm: Sportsnet: "even with the coaching change, it was same old same old on Tuesday night". No shit, Sherlock. It's almost like Eakins wasn't the entire problem. Who knew?
8:32pm: Sportsnet talking about how Ben Scrivens sat on his head last game. Okay, that's totally news, I don't remember him doing that in the games before I left.
8:33pm: Oh God, what's Gene Principe going to say?
8:34pm: Gene's playing with a Budweiser red light prop today, talking about the Oilers being tied for second worst in the league in goals-for. So far no puns.
8:35pm: San Jose will win if they light the red light more often than the Oilers. Thanks Gene, you're a modern day genius.
8:37pm: Ben Scrivens is back in net again tonight. His .894 SV% is a stark contrast to Anti Niemi's .919.
8:38pm: The faceoff has begun. The Oilers lost it. Switching to gametime!
1st period 19:24: The Oilers get their first possession of the game only to give it back up immediately.
1st period 18:33: Joe Thorton almost got a goal there, but did an Eberle impression at the last possible second.
1st period 18:02: Scrivens handles the puck to avoid SJ getting an icing call. Great.
1st period 17:40: Thornton and Hertl almost get a shot on goal in a great scoring opportunity.
1st period 17:01: Ference touched the puck. I just booed.
1st period 16:40: So far San Jose has been mostly dominating. "Stay within your game plan" is the Oilers key to the game. Since the game plan is to lose, I think they are cool there.
1st period 15:50: Eberle's pass to the slot gets intercepted by Sheppard. At least the Oilers are doing good at winning the end board cycling so far.
1st period 14:45: Pinnezoto's pass goes wild across the Oilers zone. Oilers are backchecking good this shift, I approve.
1st period 13:55: Thane gets an elbow to the face. No call.
1st period 13:24: Nuge comes in and reads the attempted pass beautifully.
1st period 12:59: The Leafs winning streak has just been killed by Carolina. That's the most amazing news ever. That almost undoes what Danielle Smith did this week.
1st period 12:22: Edmonton Oilers have water bottled numbered. Sounds like they and San Jose have this mumps thing down.
1st period 12:12: We went from almost 5 minutes without a whistle to two whistles within a dozen seconds of each other.
1st period 11:33: Hall missed on a great crossover pass from Purcell.
1st period 10:50: Pitlick clears the puck, the first time he's been not invisible on the whole shift. Where was he when San Jose was rocking Scrivens?
1st period 9:59: Draisaitl had a good shot there, but he should have passed rather than shot when he got his own rebound
1st period 8:17: Time to turn the oven on for some frozen pizza. Hall passes to the slot, Purcell can't quite turn it into a quality shot on goal.
1st period 7:41: Hall loses his edge and falls. DRINK!
1st period 6:19: Arcabello shoots to the empty ice, Hunt has to leave the zone. Fire the coach.
1st period 5:50: HOW DID THAT NOT GO IN!
1st period 5:17: Gordon is in the lineup, and he scores with a slick backhand! What the hell happened after that though, Ebs? 1-0 Edmonton. Oilers lead, that's good, right?
1st period 4:48: Is egg nog with rum an acceptable hockey-drinking beverage? I sure hope so. Couture just tried to tie it up but couldn't get past the Oilers defense. Wow.
1st period 3:31: Both teams can only control the puck up to the opposing blue line tonight, it seems.
1st period 2:09: Yak is doing his patented "can I get to the puck? No? I give up" routine. Danielle Smith may need to pay royalties.
1st period 1:38: That same Nail Yakupov is now in the penalty box. First special teams moment of the game.
1st period 1:01: Wild play in front of the net, San Jose can't quite put it away.
1st period 0:40: Nuge! Fights the defender for a shot on goal, a pseudo-breakaway.
1st period 0:10: Tenneson's rifle gets snatched by Scrivens. Oilers hanging on from a couple scary PP moments for the Sharks.
1st period 0:03: Another Tenneson slapshot from the blue line, but the Oilers hang on. Considering it's against the Sharks, that's almost the perfect road period for a 30th place team.
9:12pm: The pizza is in, at least 17 minutes which means I may go silent as the second period starts up. Phil Kessel just gets a shout-out from John Shannon. I feel dirty even hearing it. I'd better finish this rum and eggnog, I'm pretty sure pizza and eggnog doesn't go well together.
9:16pm: Nobody on the Oilers can complete with Brent Burns in the critical "awesome beard" stat.
9:25pm: Gene is interviewing Raffi Torres. Since it's past 2008, Gene should worry that Raffi will cheap shot him across the back of the skull.
9:27pm: "Maybe some health coming in 2015 for you" says Gene. I thought for sure that's when Raffi would have hit him. I would have.
2nd period 19:41: Of course as the period starts my oven beeps: the pizza is ready.
2nd period 18:56: A powerplay just ended so the Sportsnet crew starts talking "momentum". Like the sun rising in the east, you can count on it.
2nd period 18:39: Pacoretti has now gone to the hospital in that Montreal game. I'm off to have pizza, you're on your own for now!
2nd period 14:09: San Jose scores. Hot chicks cheering on in the crowd. If you show those girls again, and we get Connor McDavid, I'll accept another dozen goals against us.
2nd period 8:03: Wow, wild period while I was away having pizza. It's now 3-2 Oilers after Nuge and Pinnezoto try this "fight for the puck in the slot" thing and find out, hey look, it works great!
2nd period 6:59: So this is the most goals the Oilers have scored against the Sharks all year. Hell, when was the last time the Oilers even scored 3 goals? October?
2nd period 5:52: Klefbom levels Couture, he's having a good shift against a tough line.
2nd period 5:34: Another Oilers penalty. Still winning 3-2 though.
2nd period 3:37: I guess November 28th was the last 3-goal Oilers game. Penalty ends as San Jose does a good impersonation of an early 2000s Oilers powerplay. Lots of cycling, barely one shot on goal.
2nd period 2:34: Oilers escape another barrage and go on the rush...Hall is not having a good game, he ran out of momentum just inside the blue line.
2nd period 2:04: Hall almost scored but again doesn't seem to have any magic in the...magic...tank....
2nd period 1:29: Yak with about 5 shot attempts within 20 seconds.
2nd period 1:11: A Ference shot is completely harmless. Please try to act surprised.
2nd period 0:42: Oilers completely collapse back on their own net and survive another strong barrage of shots from the superior Sharks forwards.
2nd period 0:00: A really wild period, 4 goals in about 4 minutes. Of course, that's the timeframe I'm busy eating pizza so I only got to really look at a couple of them. Nuge is definitely the best player on the ice tonight. Hall was starting to get his groove back later in the period, he jumped Niemi to check a Shark against the back boards with about 15 seconds left. Pinezotto's goal was a greasy greasy greasy one, but Nuge's was beautiful. Going the other way, Logan Couture's goal is going to make it on the "This guy scored" site tomorrow, as all Oilers slid to the side of the ice he wasn't rushing up the boards on.
3rd period 18:46: Perron puts a dirty dump in to make a line change. Ference almost cost us a goal again.
3rd period 17:49: San Jose totally dominating this period, kept in the opposing zone where Pavelski was a one-man wrecking crew.
3rd period 16:07: Oilers still can't get it out of their zone or make any sort of push into opposing territory.
3rd period 15:37: San Jose survives a total Oilers blitz: one of their players gloves it out of the air and play is whistled down.
3rd period 14:59: The Hall/Klefbom chemistry tonight is pretty nice.
3rd period 13:50: I wonder what was up with the refs at the Oilers bench, looks like MacT had to intervene to keep the Oilers out of the box for some reason. Burns lost his stick and still managed to clear it out of the zone.
3rd period 12:52: It's funny seeing that Adobe ad along the San Jose side of the boards. In one sense it's annoying because it's a lit sign, and its hard for your eyes to follow the action as players pass by it. On the other sense it's funny since Adobe is notorious for having compatibility issues with the chief software from the company who owns naming right to the arena. Anyways, Eberle just got softly roughed up in the corner. Again, we've seen this show before.
3rd period 12:34: This Sharks fan with the teeth looks legally retarded. Perron with a penalty for an illegal head shot.
3rd period 12:08: Couture and Pavelski were totally rocking the Oilers on that shift. Ever see a backhand blind pass on a PP before? Well you saw one now.
3rd period 11:40: Nuge wins another faceoff and the Sharks barely get out of their zone.
3rd period 11:31: But when the Sharks do get out, they snap a quick shot and score over Scrivens' blocker. We're tied at 3-3.
3rd period 11:22: So that's Tenneson's first NHL goal. He certainly earned it with the way he played so far tonight. One of the Shark's most dangerous weapons.
3rd period 10:57: Cue the Oilers collapse, as Barkley Goodrow shakes off Justin Schultz and crosses the entire ice and backhands it under Ben Scrivens. 4-3 for San Jose. Goodrow's second ever goal. Wanna guess which team he scored his first against?
3rd period 10:22: Almost 5-3 for the Sharks after this shift: they have just been pushing hard and harder and oh God oh God harder harder harder and Oilers are hanging on for dear life.
3rd period 10:09: I like the hottie in the leopard print scarf behind the Oilers bench. Wait, a scarf? In San Jose??
3rd period 9:24: They switched the Adobe sign. Heh. Loose puck almost scooped up for Courture for another San Jose goal, but luck was on Edmonton's side for once.
3rd period 8:29: Oilers can't keep the Sharks off the puck. Fortunately San Jose coudn't keep the puck inside the blue line.
3rd period 7:40: Now Burns is starting to have one hell of a game. Must be the beard.
3rd period 7:04: Hall vs. Thornton isn't going well for Taylor Hall. Not sure that Taylor Hall vs. Goodrow would be the greatest matchup for Taylor Hall tonight. He's totally not on his game. Has this been going on long?
3rd period 6:28: Hall clears it out of the zone, which is good since Thane gave the puck up and caused a good 15 second long rush where San Jose wouldn't give up on their mission to hit 6 goals tonight.
3rd period 6:12: Hall just lost another battle in the opposing zone.
3rd period 5:23: Oilers third line working hard to keep the puck in the San Jose zone. Sportsnet just said this is Schultz's best game. Did they not watch the Goodrow goal or something?
3rd period 4:33: Nuge is so far able to hem 2-3 opposing players in their own zone single-handedly. At least the third time I've seen this.
3rd period 4:14: "Taylor Hall almost got through". I'm telling you, he lost his mojo. time to travel back to the 1960s...
3rd period 3:08: C'mon Oilers, you gotta score here. You aren't one of these teams that can score with a second left on the clock...but the teams you play always seem to be. Oilers can't get possession so far.
3rd period 2:48: Oilers narrowly avoid icing, The Nuge is back out.
3rd period 2:18: Fake whistle just sounded. Hall's attempted pass intercepted, Klefbom bails him out.
3rd period 1:55: Oilers lose it in the zone, Scrivens run watch is on.
3rd period 1:31: Schultz advances and the net is almost empty.
3rd period 1:21: Now the net is empty, or will be when/if Edmonton wins the ensuing faceoff in the San Jose zone. Or, no, nevermind, it's staying empty apparently. Bold move, new coach guy.
3rd period 0:45: San Jose miscue behind their net, Hall almost capitalizes.
3rd period 0:34: Eberle almost has a chance to score...which means, of course, he doesn't. The Eberle regression season continues, it seems. 2011 Eberle totally would have buried that one.
3rd period 0:02: Oilers ice the puck with only two seconds left, but nobody except the cameras heard the whistle. 4-3 San Jose and I'm afraid that this game is basically over for the Oilers. The ref says 2 seconds, but I already told you that. No delay of game penalty despite the announcer's wish.
3rd period 0:00: That horrible arrangement of "Rock and Roll Part 2" plays, and its official. Oilers have lost another game, in regulation. The "Lose All Honour for Conner" chant should be set to resume.
Welcome to something I haven't done in ages. No, not liveblogging.