2015 CariWest Parade Pledge

Today is the 2015 Edmonton Caribbean Parade ("CariWest"). It's a fun event, with music, and dancing, and hilarious racial stereotypes proven to be 100% true. It's like an #IdleNoMore rally, basically, with a beer gardens featuring jerk chicken and hot girls.

It also has a hilarious subtext to it, as encapsulated by the last time I attended in 2013:

I like how the Edmonton Journal is trying to pretend the parade will start before 12:40. #blackpeopletime http://t.co/C3bGOBsOzZ

— FACLC (@FACLC) August 10, 2013

Also, in 2010:

FACT: there is a negative stereotype that black ppl are unreliable employees. UNRELATED FACT: CariWest Parade always >20 mins late.

— FACLC (@FACLC) August 7, 2010

And, in 2008:

God I thought the #Cariwest parade started and stopped at Churchill. Has it even started? No sign of it at 101 St. #yeg

— FACLC (@FACLC) August 8, 2009

Noticing any patterns here?

So, in the interests of getting this year's parade started on time, I offer you Feynman and Coulter's Love Child's 2015 CariWest Pledge:

If the Edmonton CariWest parade starts before 12:15 this year, I will not use the word "nigger" on social media (this blog, Twitter, Facebook, Disqus, YouTube, etc.) for an entire year.

Ball's in your court, organizers. Get it done on time this year. (But, seriously, people, you realize you've become a running joke, right?)