Girls in orbit

With the news that NASA has dismissed Kim Nowak, probably the first time a military-trained astronaut is let go by the organization, I think its time that we as an intelligent and sensible society seriously examine a course of action whose time has come.

We have to stop letting chicks into space.

I'm serious. Women astronauts have been a burden we have senselessly tried to carry since the heady days of Sputnik and Yuri Gagarin and the Russian chick cosmonaut who's spilling the beans about classified spacecraft designs.

Remember in the 1980s when we decided to put a female schoolteacher into orbit? The entire space shuttle blew up.

Now this chick astronaut goes and kidnaps another female astronaut, leaving the infamous question (courtesy of Ron White) of "what happens if a female astronaut gets PMS in outer space?" completely and frightfully unanswered.

And if these weren't reasons enough to keep womenfolk squarely on terra firma, remember that when we finally gave a woman a starship, she got lost on the first day.