This week in sport

A few generic thoughts about the goings-on across the sports world this week.

  • As you may have noticed, and as I mentioned, I wasn't able to cover much Wimbledon this week. Even the final, I missed all but the last 10 minutes due to a house party on Friday (more on this to come). It wasn't a great match from my perspective anyways: Ashleigh Barty (6/10) held on and with the help of the net defeated the giant hawk-girl known as Karolína Plíšková (7.5/10, recently downgraded from 8). The best hotness in the bunch was the Duchess of Cambridge who gave out the awards.
  • Something called the Stanley Cup was given away last week, apparently, as the riot-prone frogs of Montreal Queerbec fell to Tampa Bay. Fortunately for the Oilers the last series ended with Montreal beating Vegas after felling Winnipeg, which means that we didn't get the dreaded "lost in the first round to the team who lost in the second round to the team who lost in the third round to the team who lost the final" award this year: that honour falls to the St. Louis Blues.
  • The Chicago Cubs broke an 11-game losing streak last week, and have already begun their new one. The north-siders have gone from "try not to break up their core of stars" to "can we even get anything for these bums" within a year.
  • The niggers on the United States Olympic basketball team lost to other niggers on the Niggeria basketball squad: the exhibition match is for nothing but team pride, but the poor African nation will happily take the result.
  • In other surprise upset news, Conor McGregor has now lost three of his last four UFC matches, being beaten last night by Dustin Poirier. The match ended when McGregor somehow broke his leg and the doctor called it. Doesn't sound very "ultimate" fighting, does it?
  • Earlier today in EuroCup action Italy defeated England 3-2 in penalty kicks after the game ended in a 1-1 tie. Good on Italy for defeating the SJW kneeling wankers from the formerly Great Britain. Martok had texted asking if I wanted to join him on Whyte today to watch the game, I checked my phone and England was leading 1-0. Unfortunately I misread the "final" at the bottom of the score to mean it was the final score rather than it was the present score in the final and so I missed that one too.
  • The CFL did something but the Edmonton Eskimos no longer exist so who cares?
  • Meanwhile you probably heard about the strangest story ever: in the excitement of celebrating July 4th at Manny Legace's house, Columbus goalie Matiss Kivlenieks died from a fireworks accident. You can scoff, perhaps rightly, but as the Mark Steyn July 4th audio special remarked, fireworks and boating accidents on July 4th go back as far as the founding of America itself.
  • Finally, overshadowed by Wimbledon and I obviously didn't get to watch of it either, but at the Hamburg Open after a first set tiebreaker, the second set was won a little more handedly by Romania's Elena-Gabriela Ruse (8/10) to defeat butterfaced German Andrea Petkovic (7.5/10) who, as we've mentioned before, has a perfectly sculpted ass.