2013-04-02

Grand Theft Auto 3 on Occupy Wall Street

I wonder if anybody ever noticed this before: this is a caller into the "Chatterbox" radio station in the Grand Theft Auto III videogame. Please note that this videogame was released in 2001:

If the video doesn't work, this is what is being said in this segment:

Lazlow: "Let's go over here to line 4, hello caller, what's your name?"
Jeff: "Jeff from Rockford."
Lazlow: "Hello Jeff, what's up?"
Jeff: "I want to tell you and your listeners about a once-in-a-lifetime
chance to make a difference. There's a rally tomorrow evening at
the park. Starting at 7. Although we'll be painting banners and
singing songs and all day to prepare for it. Then, when tens-of-
thousands have gathered in the park, we're gonna march onto Town
Hall. Lazlow, the people have spoken! And they have said 'no, not
in my town!' So folks, if you're listening, and want to make a
difference, get yourself down to the park, and prepare to bring
democracy back to the people."
Lazlow: "So...what's this rally about, Jeff?"
Jeff: "It's about people standing up and being counted. It's about the
future. It's about telling those morons in the suits 'no thanks!
Not in my town! Not while I have a breath in my body and hope in
my soul! I will not, I cannot let this pass!'"
Lazlow: "Let what pass?"
Jeff: "It's about grabbing the town by the balls and saying 'listen son,
either put-up, or shut up! No more Mr. Nice-guy. No more easy
solutions for difficult problems!' It's about what it means to be
an American. It's about giving something back."
Lazlow: "Giving what back, Jeff?"
Jeff: "Hope! Dreams! Belief!"
Lazlow: "Belief in what, I mean, look Jeff, I..I admire your passion,
really I do, but...what will people be marching for? Wh..what's
your rally about!?"
Jeff: "It's about justice, Mr. Low! A chance to shine and make a
difference! About thousands of people walking side-by-side as
brother marchers. Only one thing on their minds - the chance to
make a difference! Bring your friends! Nothing shows a man how
much you mean to him more than the chance to walk together for
justice! Bring your kids! They can paint signs, and we'll even
have a face-painter, and a vegen bar-be-que. Bring your parents,
dude, even the elderly care about tomorrow!"
Lazlow: "I understand that, it sounds like a great rally, but w..we're
not a political station and you haven't really told us why
people should do this...what is it about?!?"
Jeff: "Look..look, do you wanna help or not??"
Lazlow: "I don't know what I'm helping!"
Jeff: "You're helping America! What kind of patriot are you? It's a
rally!!"
Lazlow: "You don't know what it's for, do you!?!"
Jeff: "It's for hope. Please come, everybody! It'll be real good!"
Lazlow: "Alright, you fight the power, brother!"
Sound familiar? It should. From the words of one of the chief Occupy fleabaggers:
The occupation, which has now spread to more than 100 cities across America, grew from the desire to reshape a criminal and bankrupt financial-political landscape that favors the 1% over the 99%. Where precisely is this movement going? Perhaps that isn’t as important as the question about where it’s not going.

Said Di Salvo: “We’re not going to settle for one reform demand that can be conceded and then lets us shut down the movement—no one demand could meet the goals that have been set by this group for readjusting the balance of power in this country.
Really the only thing that makes "where this movement isn't going is more important" different than "It's about telling those morons in the suits not in my town" is that the latter is much more honest. Oddly, its the Fleabagger whose statement ends up being funnier.

Over and over again the occupy fleabaggers demanded action, change, change, action...what they wanted that to be was usually either patently unclear, hilariously clear, obvious why it wasn't happening already, or downright opposite to the few specifics they ever claimed to be for.

In a way, we're all worse off for them just not being like Jeff. "It's about justice!" Just say that, and let people with insanely different views bump into each other. Imagine Westboro Baptist Church taking on faggot parades.