2011-05-01

Bin Laden Dead

President Monkey is widely expected to announce in minutes that Osama bin Laden is confirmed dead and US forces have his body.

On the eve of the 41st General Election, Third Edge of the Sword summarizes the various responses from party leaders.

Stephen Harper, Conservative Party: Congratulations to our American allies for capturing a dangerous man who has long eluded and insulted the tenants of our free and prosperous society.

Gilles Duceppe, Bloc Quebecois: Reports indicate that Osama bin Laden is dead. Since he didn't speak French, good riddance.

Elizabeth May, Green Party: It is a shame that U.S. forces had to use cruise missiles to take him down, as they burn a lot of carbon and are bad for the environment.

Jack Layton, New Democratic Party: I refuse to comment on this until my close colleague Maher Arar can positively identify the body.

Michael Ignatieff, Liberal Party: I'm glad to hear that Osama bin Laden is dead, partly because party strategists revealed that with him replacing me the Liberals may gain 4 points.