Third Edge of the Sword visits the Calgary Stampede by the numbers

Strawberry lemonades consumed: 4
Candy apples consumed: 6
Rides rode: 2
Rides rode and not left feeling sick after: 1
Kilometres drove: 787
Photographs taken: 358
Photographs taken that don't feature a hot chick: 4
Hot asian chicks seen in skirts, cowboy hats, cowboy boots, and frilly tanktop: 190
Hot black chicks seen in skirts, cowboy hats, cowboy boots, and frilly tanktop: 2
Beers drank: 40
Beers drank that weren't disgusting fucking Budweisers: 5
Girls who grabbed my ass: 2
Girls who grabbed my ass without earlier pretending to be a dyke: 1
"Don't Mess with Texas" T-shirts: 4
Stagettes witnessed: 2
Marching bands witnessed: 6
Tweets from the Stampede Parade: 32
Pancake breakfasts attended: 0
Slices of pizza: 5
Slices of pizza enjoyed: 4
Time spent watching the actual Stampede: 0:00
Trips on the C-train: 6
Paid trips on the C-train: 2
Trips to Safeway: 2
Paid trips to Safeway: 0
Money spent not counting gas: $372.66
Trips to Peter's Drive-Thru: 0
Times I said "Oh baby": 628
Times somebody said "Oh baby" to me: 9