2008-06-10

David Suzuki is a (breaking and entering) Fascist

If I had some time, and some money, and knew both an old Japanese guy and a fat guy, I would totally recreate this commercial:


Bob: David Suzuki?

DS: Hi Bob, just getting rid of this old fridge.

Bob: But that's my fridge.

DS: It uses twelve hundred kilowatt-hours of electric...

Bob: I don't fucking care. That's my fridge. I bought it. It's using the kilowatt-hours that I bought. And it contained the beer I bought that I see you've gotten your mothball-smelling old-man beard into.

DS: That's about 150 bucks!

Bob: Get out of my house you goddamned fascist. You want to put Stephen Harper in jail for not fighting global warming the year Edmonton got 10 straight days of freezing cold weather in mid-April yet you come into my house and steal my beer fridge?

Bob runs upstairs, David Suzuki looks back up

DS: You've got the power, Bob.

Bob runs downstairs with a shotgun

Bob: I've got a .303 Winchester, you condescending arrogant pseudo-scientific Nip!

Bob fires into David Suzuki's chest multiple times.

Update, 12:40am Wednesday April 22 2009: I have made this commercial (finally) and you can view it here.