2019-02-08

Edmonton Oilers PTSD

The Edmonton Oilers are the worst NHL team of the twenty-first century.

And no, this isn't hyperbole, or a trick. If you take every hockey game played in the 21st century and look at the teams point totals, the Oilers sit uncomfortably at the bottom. I started, as every Seinfeld viewer knows, on January 1st 2001 and continued up until today (er...yesterday). And the sad reality I found was the Edmonton Oilers with 1194 points in 1379 games, and their 0.865 PPG at the very bottom of the league. Second place is Arizona followed by Columbus(!?), Florida, and Buffalo.

All of the numbers in this post are based with the NHL results as of Thursday morning (2019-02-07).

Edmonton Oilers have the worst  record in the NHL during the 21st century

Team total points total games points per game
ANA 1491 1378 1.082002903
BOS 1488 1381 1.077480087
BUF 1279 1380 0.926811594
CAR 1289 1381 0.933381608
CBJ 1254 1376 0.911337209
CGY 1378 1381 0.997827661
CHI 1401 1380 1.015217391
COL 1328 1379 0.963016679
DAL 1450 1380 1.050724638
DET 1534 1375 1.115636364
EDM 1194 1379 0.865844815
FLA 1260 1380 0.913043478
LAK 1348 1381 0.976104272
MIN 1408 1382 1.018813314
MTL 1407 1379 1.020304569
NJD 1419 1381 1.027516293
NSH 1471 1383 1.06362979
NYI 1290 1379 0.935460479
NYR 1421 1375 1.033454545
OTT 1406 1382 1.017366136
PHI 1419 1382 1.026772793
PHX 1224 1387 0.882480173
PIT 1458 1381 1.055756698
SJS 1545 1383 1.117136659
STL 1418 1381 1.02679218
TBL 1422 1381 1.029688631
TOR 1332 1378 0.966618287
VAN 1435 1380 1.039855072
VEG 173 137 1.262773723
WPG 1322 1382 0.95658466
WSH 1468 1382 1.062228654


Last night the Oilers defeated the Minnesota Wild 4-1. This is change of pace: Edmonton is 3-6-2 in their last ten games and coming off three humiliating losses in a row: a Saturday afternoon game against Philadelphia where they coughed up a lead to lose in overtime followed by a Sunday afternoon game against Montreal in the Bell Centre where they coughed up a lead to lose in overtime. Next game the disaster on 104th Avenue on Tuesday where the Oilers didn't even get a loser point in overtime because they coughed up a lead to be humiliated 6-2 by Chicago in the infamous return of the "jersey toss".

I almost didn't watch last night's game, by the way. Literally yesterday morning when I got the alert reminder on my phone that the team played that night, I felt ill. My stomach ached, my temples throbbed, and I experienced anxiety and despair. This is a new phenomenon I describe as Oilers PTSD. I'm not alone in this, and technically this experience isn't new. Years ago in the regular season games prior to the 2006 playoff run when the team was fighting for that 8th playoff spot [doesn't that seem quaint now? -ed] I was talking with a coworker about how my mood really depended on the result of the previous night's game. A girl I know who moved to Edmonton from Toronto around 2008 was mentioning a couple years back how the city's mood really varies based on how the Oilers did the night before: she noticed in business meetings downtown that when the team lost the night before she wasn't going to get a good reception to anything other than the best news on the planet. I was talking with a guy who lived in Montreal for two years and he said both cities are roughly the same on this, but he also admitted Edmonton probably "wins" in that race as well.

But remember..the team has been an embarrassment for most of this entire century. We have the best player in the league and in three seasons we have nothing to show for it. We had an atrocious General Manger who everybody saw was a bad idea from the moment he was brought on board, who inexplicably was signing bad deals minutes before he was let go. Oilers games with a couple small exceptions have been disasters ever since 9/11. And like a soldier sent to kill the adherents of a child raping Satanic prophet over in Afghanistan, Oilers fans are also suffering post-traumatic stress which morphs into pre-traumatic stress every time we get that TSN.ca notification that an Oilers game is on the horizon.

Don't believe me? Check the WebMD symptoms for PTSD and let me know how many of them apply to you or the Oilers fan in your life:
Whether you're thinking about it or not, memories of the traumatic event can come back to bother you. You may experience them in your sleep as nightmares or during the day as flashbacks. That means you relive the event as if it's happening for the first time.

Both can cause you to feel anxious, afraid, guilty, or suspicious. These emotions may play out physically in the form of chills, shaking, headaches, heart palpitations, and panic attacks.
How many times in the day or two after a bad Oilers loss have you suddenly thought about it? How many times have you had headaches when you watch us be humiliated again and remember that Lucic is taking up a whopping 7% of the Oilers cap hit while only having 14 points on the season? Panic attacks when you realize that McDavid can see the writing on the wall and Manning in the locker room and likely demand a trade sometime before Jason Kenney runs for reelection? Don't feel alone. We've all been there.

You don't want to think about it. You don't want to talk about it. You steer clear of everyone and everything that reminds you of the event, including places and activities.
This is the section that sort of spoils my thesis. Ironically, as Martok was talking about this morning when I bounced the idea of this post against him mentioned, we remain fans. We watch fewer games when experiencing Oilers PTSD (I didn't watch the Chicago game on Tuesday, for example), we aren't steering clear of people and things that remind us of the event. Indeed, we keep attending the event, at least by watching it on TV.

Doctors call these “arousal symptoms.” They can make your emotions more intense or make you react differently than you normally would. For example, if you're a careful driver, you might start driving too fast or be super-aggressive on the road. Irrational, angry outbursts are very common.

Many find it hard to focus. Feelings of danger and being under attack can ruin concentration and keep you from finishing tasks you do every day. This can also lead to trouble sleeping, whether you're having nightmares or not.
I haven't had "arousal symptoms" since the Oilers moved to Rogers Place and that brunette in the tight shirt stopped skating around during TV time outs clearing off the ice, har har. I kid of course: Oilers fans often have their concentration interfered with during the emotionally stunned period during a bad losing streak. As the Toronto girl in business meeting story above illustrated, Edmontonians felt under attack and having trouble concentrating on the day after a single Oilers loss. What about during losing streaks? What about exercises in total futility at putting a competitive NHL team out on the ice when you have the greatest player in maybe two generations on a line with Ty Rattie?

PTSD doesn't always come with clues like nightmares and flashbacks. Sometimes it seems like a mood change unrelated to the traumatic event.

You'll know it by its negativity. You may feel hopeless, numb, or bad about yourself or others. Thoughts of suicide can come and go. Deep feelings of guilt and shame are common, as well.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes. That feeling of hopelessness (no matter who is the owner, GM, coach, star forward the result is always the same), feeling bad about yourself for being an Oilers fan, the numbness when every loss just stops explicitly bothering you and turns into a overarching paste of sadness. Deep feelings of shame? Absolutely. Guilt when you realize your viewing eyeballs have rewarded the folks who keep making this happen? Absolutely. Suicide? Okay, that's maybe a bridge too far. Still, the feelings of shame. You don't want to be seen in Calgary with an Oilers hat anymore. You have nothing to hold over them.

Activities you normally enjoy may not interest you anymore. Your motivation to maintain relationships with close friends and family could be low.
Activities you enjoy...like watching the Oilers play...no longer interest you. Your motivation to maintain relationships with close friends (hey want to go to The Pint and watch the Oilers game?) is lower than ever.

Those are the signs. You probably have Oilers PTSD. In fact, if you don't you should get your head examined. You're no longer human. Or you're no longer an Oilers fan. I suppose in that case your head is working just fine.

2019-02-03

Liveblog: The Big Football Game at the end of the season

Hey there sports fans and welcome to Third Edge of the Sword's live February 3rd coverage of THE BIG FOOTBALL GAME AT THE END OF THE SEASON which I understand is a popular thing to watch today.

It's a little confusing seeing how the big football game at the end of the season -- you know, the Grey Cup -- was actually held 70 days ago. I was there in the stands, actually. But since I missed watching it on TV, I did PVR it.

So this is a good time to liveblog my rewatch of the 2018 Grey Cup, since apparently everybody else is also watching it. So here, live from Third Edge of the Sword World Headquarters in Cobb County Georgia comes THE BIG FOOTBALL GAME AT THE END OF THE SEASON.

4:30pm: I understand this is the time everybody is planning to watch THE BIG FOOTBALL GAME AT THE END OF THE SEASON so I hit "play" on my PVR. It starts kind of awkwardly as two guys from Purolator's "Tackle Hunger" are being interviewed. And now, shitty pathetic women are coming out to join the CFL Commissioner for the official coin toss.

4:32pm: Fake Governor General Julie Paquette (because she's a woman and therefore not picked on merit) hears Ottawa call tails, and she throws heads so Calgary wins the toss. She's really a pathetic useless piece of shit. Trudeau nominee, what can we say?

4:33pm: Dave Dickenson looks tanned. Why does he look tanned? He makes a lame "we need to score one more point than these guys" joke. Nobody smiles.

4:35pm: I just heard a couple Black Friday Ford commercials. I thought half the fun of this event was watching the amazing commercials? Ford and Harry Rosen both put out lackluster ones.

4:37pm: Ugh, the National Anthem. You know, I would actually enjoy if they did an Alberta anthem (something by Paul Brandt) and an Ottawa anthem (something from the Dumb and Dumber soundtrack). Listening to Brent Kissel the shitty fake Trudeau anthem lyrics in English and the pathetic Frog lyrics mixed in is always infuriating. By the way, listen carefully: you can hear me loudly sing "in all thy sons command" when Kissel does it wrong.

4:39pm: William Pallister was the Safeway Score and Win candidate. Good to know it wasn't me.

4:42pm: "Super used to mean something" in the hilarious Real Canadian Superstore commercial. Meant nothing on November 25th 2018 but means a lot more today.

4:43pm: Exactly 0 Celcius at kickoff. How good would that feel right now?


4:45pm: Harris' throw was good but it meant nothing, and Ottawa punts away the fall after only three plays. Plus a 15 yard unnecessary roughness penalty.

4:47pm: Chris Matthews gets a first down. I remember groaning when I originally watched that. Also a reference to the Patriots in something called the "Super Bowl". I wonder what that's about.

4:49pm: Mitchell's throw was errant the moment I saw it, and Ottawa snags an interception in the endzone. I honestly forget what this flag did.

4:50pm: Ottawa penalty was after Rose's interception so the play stands.

4:54pm: Ottawa has to kick it away, I wonder if I can still go to BrickGreyCupParty.ca?

4:57pm: The REDBLACKS had food poisoning? I hadn't heard that.

4:59pm: BLV gets away from pressure and makes an iffy throw to Durant who...drops it. Nice try, dudes.

5:01pm: The frozen field causes players to be concerned about playing conditions and they have to wear a special shoe called the "Destroyer". Hey, wasn't this not a problem back when we had natural grass? We really need to go back to natural grass in that field. Fertilize it with Iveson's corpse.

5:03pm: Now Calgary's turn to intercept the ball.

5:05pm: Calgary gets their first touchdown of the game as BLV remembers there's this guy named "Jackson" on the team and he's allowed to throw him the ball.

5:09pm: They just showed the worldwide broadcasts including Mexico on "ESPN Tres North". Funny.

5:12pm: Alessa Cara was the halftime show. I knew it, forgot it, and I'll not remember it tomorrow either.

5:15pm: Ottawa misses the field goal attempt and Calgary gets possession. Still 7-0 Calgary.

5:16pm: First Bryan Hall namedrop.

5:18pm: Skip the Dishes and TransMountain pipeline commercials. Ironically I think the KeepCanadaWorking.ca ads are horrible. They make me want pipelines less. Next a Huawei commercial. Banned in most of the west. Here they are the prime sponsor of the government broadcaster's flagship program.

5:24pm: Powell is showing the Ottawa ground game. Not bad, not bad. Ottawa gets a field goal, it's now 7-3 Calgary in the second quarter.

5:27pm: Offside call against Ottawa. As an Eskimos fan I have to say that it feels like not a lot of penalties have been called in this game. Why does the league hate us?

5:29pm: Pizza 73 is on the way by the way, so there may be some gaps in my coverage starting around 6pm.

5:32pm: World Juniors coverage on TSN starts Boxing Day. Uh, you don't want to know how that one ends.

5:33pm: Calgary is in the middle of a strong drive here. First down on the Ottawa 17 and Mitchell throws a TD to Durant who just extends his arm to get the ball across the line.

5:34pm: Point after is good, score is now 14-3 Stampeders. I think this is when I left to hit the concession stands.


5:39pm: Every time I watch an NFL kick return I'm screaming "no yards" at the screen. I don't watch the second rate junior American league often, but that's one of my favourite calls, along with "TWO AND OUT" and "throw to the twelfth man". This is a straight up no yardage call on the Ottawa punt.

5:42pm: Grant got a first down but it was a very very rough hit. I remember Ottawa never having the ball, but here they get an interception to prove me wrong as the thought enters my brain.

5:45pm: Powell fumbles the ball and the Stampeders recover. There's a lot of cheers in the crowd, and I frankly don't remember that many Calgary fans in the stands. Maybe it was just my section but I recall a lot more Stampeder taunting than anything else.

5:50pm: What a play! Harris 's throw goes to #83 from Laval whose name I can't see or pronounce, and he fights his way into the endzone. Ottawa then gets the 2pt conversion. 14-11 Stampeders but the REDBLACKS (remember to scream when you say it!) are coming back. I half cheered but remembered I already know how this all ends up.

5:55pm: Ottawa seems to be on a roll here right now, with 1:30 left in the half they almost get an interception and are keeping Calgary from getting a first down.

6:00pm: I remember this: Calgary runs back after a punt and gets a touchdown. Hilariously the Stampeders horse wasn't warmed up at this point, so the girl and her horse have to go for a run with no warning in about -9. The horse was not happy and you could hear him huffing in pain from a dozen yards away.

6:03pm: The first half comes to a close. Pizza guy just called telling me my pickup was ready. Uh, dude, I asked for delivery. Calgary leading 21-11.

6:09pm: This footing problem is new to me...we can seriously push to get real grass at Commonwealth again. The cold isn't a problem. We can rebuild it. We have the technology.

6:13pm: Alessia Cara is up for the halftime show. I legitmately never watched this, we went to the concession pit for some whisky and Boston Pizza awesome-ness. I think the whole appeal of this chick is she's a hot 17 year old who sings with autotune. But she's in plain grey long coat with a toque and multiple layers. So who cares? It's like when Shania didn't show midriff at the Grey Cup but did at the Superbowl two years later.

6:14pm: She name dropped "Grey Cup". I still don't care about you. Here's the only reason we should care:


6:19pm: Hey I know this song! I thought it was Rhianna singing it though.

6:21pm: Here's her entire show by the way:


6:22pm: This would have been a good time to be eating pizza. Why would I want to pick it up?

6:25pm: The fireworks shot was cool. Commonwealth Stadium looks impressive from the air. At night. I kid of course: it's nothing that special for a stadium except its the biggest one in the CFL. So no biggie.

6:28pm: So I can see the actual Grey Cup? Wow! Oh..wait...


6:45pm: As you may have guessed the pizza arrived. Opening of the 3rd featured some uncharacteristic Calgary penalties and a lot of messy back and forth between the two teams. Harris to Harris and Ottawa is getting deep into their zone.

6:48pm: Ottawa settles for a field goal. 21-14 Calgary.

6:56pm: Calgary gets their own field goal and it's 24-14 Stampeders. Sorry, I was busy eating the wing meal. Why do I ever get the wing meal? I've never once had the Pizza 73 wing meal instead of my second pizza and been happy with my decision. Is this why morons keep voting NDP?

7:01pm: Why are CPAs taking credit for fake faggot marriages?

7:07pm: The third quarter was pretty dull. Speaking of dull, Martok texts to report the final game of the NFL season was boring up until this point.

7:10pm: Ottawa fumbles on what looks like an innocent play. Spencer clumsily tries to escape a tackle and he doesn't escape the tackle but does let the ball escape him. Calgary on the Ottawa 25 yard line.

7:12pm: Ottawa manages to prevent a touchdown, so Calgary opts for a field goal. The Calgary victory seems inevitable, just like drug addled losers dying from opioid overdoses. Only one horrible outcome involves ridiculous government ads though.

7:16pm: Ottawa is moving the ball pretty good, and processing well on this drive. This looks tense.

7:17pm: Another great Harris to Harris throw, but Harris the receiver is injured.

7:18pm: Ottawa scores a TD but the play is going to review and by the way it's going to be overturned.

7:20pm: Surprise surprise, it was overturned. I like these aerial shots of Commonwealth by the way.

7:21pm: Ottawa stopped at the two yard line. 3rd and 2, this is the TSN turning point.

7:22pm: Calgary successfully blocks the attempt and the REDBLACKS turn the ball over on downs. I mean, we all knew Ottawa was doomed at 4:30pm when I started this liveblog, but this is the point where live at the game we realized we were going to have to attend a Calgary victory.

7:23pm: Remember before Mortal Engines came out and we knew it was going to bomb? We were right.

7:28pm: The Grey Cup is in the building. Of course, we always knew it would be. Like, months ago.

7:29pm: Harris tries a deep throw that gets blocked. Now it's 3rd and 10 with 6:05 left in the 4th quarter. Ottawa chooses to punt. I will never understand this move. But the punt does go out into the endzone, Ottawa now has a chance as Calgary is on their 1 yard line.

7:32pm: Calgary gets the short yardage first down to keep their drive alive.

7:33pm: Ottawa takes their timeout as Calgary moves to the 25 yard line.

7:35pm: Bo Levi almost throws an interception, but instead Calgary gets to punt the ball away.

7:40pm: Ottawa delays the inevitable with a timeout. Sure the 27-14 lead in the CFL isn't insurmountable with 2:22 left on the clock...but Calgary has the ball

7:43pm: With 1:43 left Ottawa gets to the Calgary 33 yard line with a deep throw by Harris.

7:45pm: Calgary catches a Harris throw to snag an interception with 1:22 left on the clock and a 13pt lead. This is literally the point we left, Martok pushed us to walk away from the game, and therefore everything after this is all new to me.

7:46pm: Ottawa holds Calgary from getting a first down but now it's too late anyways.

7:47pm: Calgary runs backwards out of the endzone and now it's 27-16 Stampeders. At this point it's just a coronation and the TSN announcers are just talking about all the adversity and shit the Stamps have gone through. They got rid of that fag-lover Cornish, what other adversity can there be?

7:49pm: I still can't get over how much more partisan pro-Calgary the crowd is when you hear them on TV. Our "Build That Pipe!" chant, easily the loudest thing I heard from the crowd at the game, never was even heard on TV. I wonder if that was some sort of deliberate effort on the broadcast team's part.

7:51pm: Harris is sacked and that's it that's all. The Calgary Stampeders are your 2018 Grey Cup Champions. Wait, I knew this 3 hours ago. Hell, I knew this 3 weeks ago.

7:53pm: The Lone Ranger theme plays and I think at this point we were getting on the LRT.

7:54pm: Singleton tries very hard not to drop F-bombs to celebrate the win with his retarded sister.

7;57pm: Chris Matthews gives the classic negro football player interview: he doesn't speak in coherent sentences, he just screams catchphrases and hoots and hollers. Followed up with another stereotypical interview by negro Micha Johnson who talks about how "we all feel like brothers in there" and equivalently meaningless statements.

8:01pm: Rod Black is about to award the Grey Cup and other trophies. Better than that Julie Paquette bitch.

8:02pm: Bo Levi Mitchell is Grey Cup MVP. He threw slightly more passes than interceptions. For him, that's an outstanding performance!

8:03pm: BLM isn't a very good speaker compared to Reilly or Ray, but he's still the most eloquent of the interviewers so far. He's also white. Just sayin'...

8:04pm: And...uh...that's it. That's all my PVR captured. The actual Grey Cup awarding wasn't covered. I probably should have said "go for another half hour". Whoops.

2019-01-30

Sign of the Times

Followers of a child raping Satanic prophet are taking over a classic Regina drinking venue.

The Islamic Association of Saskatchewan will soon have a new place of worship in east Regina as it works to finalize a deal with the owner of the Pump Roadhouse.

The popular nightclub was home to live entertainment for 46 years. But, the club is about to come down to make room for a new mosque in its place.

2018-12-17

Baby It's Cold Outside

2018-12-16

The proper argument to Mayor Jack Crompton

CIBC and CNRL, both of which have wasted billions of dollars fighting nonexistent global warming as a form of virtue signaling, at the very least recently had enough backbone to stand up to Whistler's faggy mayor Jack Crompton and his far-left anti-oil letter.

Mayor Jack Crompton posted a video apology to Facebook on Thursday after Postmedia reported on his letter to Calgary-based Canadian Natural Resources Ltd.

“I sincerely regret that anyone felt unwelcome here,” he said. “We recognize there are hundreds of thousands of Canadians who work directly and indirectly in the oil and gas sector and they are very proud of the work they do.”

In the letter, Crompton asked CNRL pay a “fair share” of the town’s “costs of climate change,” including part of a $1.4-million wildfire protection budget.

But the apology hasn’t stopped investors from cancelling their trips to Whistler for the 21st annual CIBC Whistler Institutional Investor Conference in January, and Postmedia has learned CIBC has cancelled the oil and gas sector’s part of the conference.

“The Canadian energy industry has been a global leader of responsible energy development,” CIBC said in a statement. “We are committed to our clients in the energy sector as they play a key role in driving the Canadian economy.”
Lots of people are giving Crompton loads of well-deserved shit over his ridiculous comments: a large strain of them however are missing the mark.
Barb Foster
The only thing better would have been shutting off the NG to Whistler. You know, so they could their part
Don Mustill
Nothing - absolutely NOTHING will satisfy the eco-nuts short of leaving all fossil fuels in the ground. We should round up a throng of these zeolots and put them in an isolated community of huts with no electricity and fuel. Give them bows and arrows and wish them luck.
This strain of comments is equally prevalent in the SmallDeadAnimals comments about the story:
old white guy
no shortage of stupid out there . tell the s o b that he has to live without oil and gas immediately. stupid, stupid, stupid.
Canadian Observer
Hypocrites.

Whistler only exists because of the recreation industry. How much fossil fuels have been burned over the years by millions of people traveling to Whistler for nothing more than fun? Air flights from around the world, billions of kms driven from Vancouver to Whistler, all the power consumed for hotels, lifts, heating, lighting, grooming equipment, etc, etc. Hell, they get about half their employees from far-flung Australia. I doubt they kayak there.

Whistler and other cities blaming the oil industry for the ‘effects of climate change’ is kinda like alcoholics blaming the liquor store for the effects of their own excessive drinking.
While it's true that climate idiots like Crompton denounce fossil fuels while living with the benefits of them, and even living on the avails of them, that isn't the strongest argument. For one thing, the same argument can be used against conservatives opposed to public healthcare. Realistically nobody in Whistler can live without fossil fuels, same as how no Canadian conservative can survive without patronizing the public healthcare monopoly that he hates.

The problem isn't that fossil fuel haters in Whistler are themselves using fossil fuels but instead that they actually think there's a massive problem with fossil fuels to begin with and that their lives would be improved if we all used them as little as absolutely necessary. That's the argument that needs to be addressed at the source, not through lazy "hypocritical" attacks. The fact is, of course, that "global warming" isn't happening. Even if it was happening, we aren't causing it. Even if it was happening and we were causing it, trying to stop it would be insanely expensive and leave the world worse off than it was to begin with.

When it comes to Whistler though there's a bigger factor to consider: even if climate change is happening and CNRL is partly responsible, Whistler isn't hurt by a warming climate.

If you remember, back a few years ago the Global Warming Lying Scientists were claiming that climate change would leave ski hills high and dry. The New York Times told you lies about this in 2007. In 2008 it was serial liar Sean Gordon in the Red Star telling more lies than he even usually told.

Pathetic liar Sean Gordon at least told his lies for 2040, though. Useless liar Mark Landler, presently misreporting from the Trump White House, dared to mention 2020 back in 2006, which means we can outright catch him in a lie. We're basically at 2020 right now, and Landler's Fake News article said:
Climatologists, however, say the warming trend will become dramatic by 2020. The new studies are alarming, suggesting that the Alps are warming twice as fast as the average in the rest of the world.
So how are the Alps doing at the dawn of 2020? Oh, well, um, March 2018 saw record snowfalls.
In November, December and January it snowed intensively. From the end of December until the end of January between 2.5 and five metres of snow fell at locations above 2,000 metres.

Most snow fell in the canton of Valais with the ski resorts of Saas-Fee and Zermatt both recording their highest snowfall for 70 years in January.

The extreme weather resulted in Zermatt and several other villages being cut off from the outside world for days on end.
So much for the Alps. But maybe Whistler has been abnormally hit by low snow winters. After all, I went there in 2015 and the snow was sub-par. Is Whistler in the middle of a decade of decline and CNRL is killing them?
January 22, 2018 12:15pmSome of B.C.’s ski hills received so much snow this weekend, they were actually forced to close.

Snow fell all weekend and overnight Sunday, overwhelming some of the mountains and making conditions unsafe.
At Whistler Blackcomb, nearly 60 centimetres of snow fell overnight Saturday and high winds and avalanche danger forced the mountain to close chairlifts and limit operations.Global BC meteorologist Mark Madryga says there is a gap between systems Monday and it will be much drier through the evening.

However, another system is coming Tuesday and again Wednesday night.
Whoops. Looks like the 2017/2018 ski season didn't look to be killed by global warming. Well, maybe Jack Crompton is a goldfish and he just forgot about what happened in January. Is this year...oh...wait...just three months ago Whistler got overwhelmed with a fall snowstorm.

The reality is that Whistler isn't suffering any impact of "climate change". As a result, even if CNRL was solely responsible for all of it, they have no reason at all to pay Whistler a thin red dime.

Jack Crompton is an idiot whose campaign is based on lies, and he needs to be attacked for that, not for how hypocritical he would have been if his letter featured any facts.

2018-11-25

The 106th Grey Cup -- FACLC has to pay money to watch two teams he hates

After a painfully long wait caused in part by the 100th Grey Cup having to be in Buttfuck Toronto, and the Canada 150 Grey Cup having to be in Goddamn Trudeauland Ottawa, Edmonton once again is hosting a Grey Cup.

And who's playing? Yes, that's right: the team based in the city we all hate because the MPs who destroy our lives with pipeline blockings and M103 freedom destructons all gather there. And then Calgary, who's only two saving graces are Highway 2 North and that they shut down their faggy mayor's bid to bring in the Olympics.

On the other hand, Edmonton remains the premier Grey Cup host in the country, so after a weekend of partying (and being slightly offended that you could get "Screeched In" west of Winnipeg in an event that was to celebrate the new CFL team in Halifax which also isn't in Newfoundland) the actual game is coming up.

I did bet money on it, so I might as well Kentucky Derby style put my predictions in now.



My alternate prediction: hours before the game all players on both teams fail their league mandated steroid tests, and then all the BC Lions, Saskatchewan Roughriders, Winnipeg Blue Bombers, Hamilton Tiger Cats, Toronto Argonauts, and Montreal Alouettes players also fail the steroid tests, and the CFL grants the Eskimos the Cup.

2018-10-08

Happy Thanksgiving/Columbus Day

As usual, we celebrate turkey day in Canada by scoffing at pro-Injun activists and their baseless attacks on Chris Columbus, the man who made our modern world the wonder it was (and could be again).

2018-10-06

Naomi Toppin - remember this name

For a future series, the 14-year-old girl police say was forcibly abducted in Edmonton's name is Naomi Toppin.

Akbar said the suspect and teen were both co-operating with police. The suspect’s name was not released after the arrest was made, but earlier on Friday, police identified the suspect as Jacques Sennesael.

An Amber Alert that had been issued was lifted after Edmonton police said the 14-year-old girl, whom they initially alleged was the victim of a “forcible abduction” on Friday afternoon, had been found safe.
Jacques Sennesael, even if later found to be innocent, will continue to have his name tied with this story in the etherwebs until the day civilization falls.

Naomi Toppin's name, on the other hand, will not. And I'm developing a keen awareness (especially in the ages of #MeToo and the Kavanaugh Witch Hunts) that the names of kids in Amber Alerts need to be saved for posterity since there's a good chance Naomi's name will come across our attention here at Third Edge of the Sword World Headquarters in North Bethesda, Maryland.

2018-09-30

Chicago Cubs Game #162 liveblog: did Russell's lying wife Kavanaugh the season?

1:10pm: Coming up, the Chicago Cubs take on the St. Louis Cardinals in the final regular season game of 2018. The Cubs are already in the "playoffs" but with the two wildcard format there's a huge difference between a wildcard spot and a pennant. This morning for the first time since July the Cubs weren't first place in the NL Central (or NL in general for that matter), as the Cardinals kept their season alive (at least until the Dodgers won) and the Brewers beat down the hapless Tigers in Saturday action. Now the Cubbies are on the ropes again and much like the Eskimos their incredible offensive talents have dried up entirely in the month of September.

1:17pm: Speaking of which, wasn't yesterday one of the worst sports days in ages? The Cubs lost, the Brewers won, and the Eskimos were humiliated against the Blue Bombers. The only bright spot was the Oilers beating the Flames in preseason action, and that doesn't even count really because it's preseason action and preseason results don't correlate at all with regular season performance in the NHL. I guess Kevin Koe's win yesterday is the closest we can come to good news yesterday.

1:20pm: Not an auspicious start for the day, the Roughriders are beating the Alouettes. Meanwhile the Tigers just left men on base. A Brewers loss and Chicago win will give the Cubs the pennant. Flaherty vs Montgomery are your pitchers for today.
1:22pm:Carpenter is up to bat first and hits a double to kick things off. A 'slight mist' in Chicago today, which beats Edmonton which just broke 0C.

1:23pm:
Great bunt attempt that fortunately does result in the first out, even though Carpenter now is on third.

1:26pm: Damn, Montgomery gives up another hit and Carpenter easily scores. 1-0 Cardinals.

1:29pm: 2-0 Cardinals after an error in centre-field. I guess at least it avoids another hit against Montgomery.

1:30pm: Pop fly ends the inning but the damage has been done.

1:33pm: Leadoff walk for the Cubs, Murphy is on first base.

1:34pm: Has Flaherty even thrown a strike yet? Whoops, there's his first I think.

1:35pm: Zobrist had what sounded like a great hit but was easily caught in right. Baez is up.

1:39pm: The NBC Sports crew is discussing the pitcher management: right now Milwaukee is winning 2-0 and the Cubs are losing 2-0. Do you bring out your relievers early? My instincts say no but then again I'm not a big league manager. I'd hate to see the Cubs wear out their bullpen tonight just to win a game that might leave them tied with Milwaukee and having to play tomorrow as well.

1:40pm: After a wild pitch by Flaherty the question is flipped for the Cards: how much work do you put into winning the game? Do you throw out your pitcher's arms for a meaningless game?

1:41pm:
Baez dumbly tries to run for home and is tagged out at the plate. Inning over, still 2-0 Cardinals.

1:43pm: Cardinals don't challenge this play with Munoz being called out even though it's likely he was safe. Hopefully that comes back to bite them.

1:45pm: Cubs do not look to have any fire in them so far today. Montgomery isn't pitching like the season depends on it for sure.

1:49pm: That ump does have a great Strike Three call! Carpenter struck out and the Cardinals held scoreless in the top of the 2nd. 2-0 Cardinals remains the score.

1:56pm: Schwarber strikes out to end the bottom of the second about the same way the top ended.

2:00pm: DeJong looks awfully confident even when hitting foul balls.

2:01pm: DeJong also looked confident hitting a ball to the ivy for a double. Montgomery is done for the day.

2:04pm: O'Neill at bat, Webster is now the pitcher. Sometimes a pitching change can really change the tenor of the match. This is not feeling like one of those changes

2:05pm: Webster does start off with a strikeout, which is sort of the best possible thing a pitcher can do, so maybe I was being a little pessimistic.

2:06pm: Next at-bat is one of the worst, a HBP. So maybe my pessimism was called for after all.

2:08pm: Still 2-0 Cardinals after Zobrist clumsily nabs a hit to RF by Bader.

2:11pm:
NBC is talking about the silver lining: if the Cubs and Brewers do play tomorrow, there's a chance the Rockies and Dodgers will be doing the same. And then whichever NL Central team ends up the wildcard will host the team that has to fly out from LA the previous night.

2:15pm: Finally a hit goes the Cubs way: Murphy splits the outfielders and gets to second base.

2:16pm: So it's time to discuss the question at the top of the post: is the recent (unfounded) allegations by Russel's ex-wife timed specifically to harm Russell and his team? It smells a lot like the Brett Kavanaugh affair: allegations that don't seem to match the facts on the ground (read: the bitch is probably lying) and released just in time to cause maximum disruption. You can read the slut's attempt at fiction here. The funny thing is both USA Today and mlbtraderumors.com describe her allegations as "detailed" when they cannot be possibly described as such. There was no detail, there was if anything less detail than Ford's lying story about Kavanaugh who apparently did something to her somewhere at some time in the 80s. Here we have:

April 2017, he betrayed me once again
This is our 'detailed history' that has cost the Cubs one of their key players until at minimum the postseason. If the Cubs are playing baseball next weekend and Russell is still on administrative leave, their chances of winning the NLCS is in jeopardy. If the Cubs aren't playing baseball next weekend the question will become whether the punishment fits the 'crime'. Even if Russell is found guilty in court years from now, will it be fair to punish him at this early stage in the investigation? If Russell is found not guilty or indeed never goes to trial, how the hell can the MLB justify costing him and his employer the benefit of his circumstances?

2:17pm: Zobrist has looked awkward all day in everything he does. Jesus Ben, is your wife going to make outrageous claims on Instagram next?

2:18pm: Zobrist still looked awkward on that triple. On the other hand, it was a triple. 2-1 Cardinals.

2:19pm: The crowd sounds alive for the first time since that original Carpenter at-bat. A wild pitch allows Zobrist to slide into home easily and it's now a 2-2 tie!

2:20pm: Unfortunately Baez still is having lousy at-bats.

2:22pm: Fortunately Flaherty is having a worse one and walks him. Cardinals have relievers warming up. I guess this is the last game of their season so why not exercise the whole bullpen and give their fans the thrill of possibly watching them torpedo their rivals from Chicago?

2:23pm: Keep Baez honest by throwing to Carpenter? Sure...but Baez hadn't even taken an inch off the bag and didn't appear that keen to do so. The crowd groans and laughs.

2:26pm: Rizzo hits his 100th RBI as this time Baez actually scores on his run home. 3-2 Cubs.

2:27pm: Bryant is intentionally walked to be Flaherty's final batter.

2:31pm: Heyward's hit makes it 4-2 Cubs as Rizzou scores.

2:34pm: Schwarber ends his second consecutive inning but the damage is done. 4-2 Cubs remains your score.

2:38pm:
Munoz hits a foul ball to the right hand side which ends up caught by a Cardinals fan, appropriately enough.

2:42pm: Garcia is out with a swing so wild that he puts into such a show that the umpire doesn't bother with his own theatrics. Cardinals held scoreless three innings in a row now. 4-2 Cubs but the Brewers are also winning their game 3-0.

2:48pm: Mills tries a golf swing there.

2:50pm: Dodgers winning 14-0 in the fifth inning. Wasn't there a Cleveland Indians game like that just a couple weeks ago?

3:01pm: Mills strikes out Tyler O'Neill. 4-2 Cubs. Meanwhile the Dodgers (14-0 lead) and the Rockies (7-0 lead) are definitely poised to face off tomorrow which may make facing off against Milwaukee tomorrow easier to swallow.

3:03pm: Baez with a lame hit that fortunately slips past the Cardinals fielders.

3:06pm: Cubs offense is starting to look dangerous again. Rizzou's double puts two Cubs in scoring position with no outs.

3:08pm: Another at-bat, another hit! Kris Bryant hits a 2-RBI double and it's now 6-2 Cubs!

3:09pm: Heyward is the first Cubs out of the inning.


3:11pm: Conteras home run! He and Bryant both come home on that play and now it's 8-2 Cubs with two outs in the bottom of the 5th.

3:12pm: I thought that was iffy. The umpires are conferring now but it appears this home run will be called back.

3:13pm: Umpires seem to think they won't review without a challenge, and the home run stands. 0-2 count to Mills. If the inning continues after this batter the Cubs own this game.

3:14pm: Score is now 8-2 Cubs at the end of the 5th inning.


3:20pm:
The Cardinals offense finally comes alive on a double by Wisdom.

3:23pm: Mills' control seem suspect now, 1-2 count turns into a walk. Runners on first and second with no outs.

3:24pm: Mills is done for the day. This IBM commercial Sportsnet keeps playing is getting more and more annoying.

3:25pm: Carl Edwards Jr, whose name on the scoreboard was a big part of the earlier home run drama, is now your pitcher for the Cubs. Mills still owns the baserunners obviously.

3:27pm: Another wild pitch, this one moves the baserunners to second and third. This kills any chance of a strikeout followed by a double play. Not good.

3:28pm: Indeed a Munoz hit scores two runs. Bad play there, should have stuck with Mills to my armchair quarterback eye. Score is now 8-4 Chicago Cubs. Brewers are winning 4-0 so Cubs need to keep pace.

3:30pm: A classic double play by the Cubs there hopefully stalls any offensive push by the Cardinals.

3:34pm: It's embarrassing to say this but I just realized the Brewers-Tigers game is interleague. That's weird as the final series of the season, isn't it? Oh, and Carl Edwards Jr. is done for the day as well. Looks like Maddon had very very little faith in him.

3:36pm: Carpenter is back up to the plate. Cubs need to shut this guy down.

3:37pm:
Rosario really tried to sell that pitch as a strike in his "inning is over isn't it" strut. Nice try, but you aren't winning an Oscar for that performance (also: the Oscar winner will be a shitty actor who speaks out against God-Emperor Donald Trump).

3:39pm: That pitch is more legit, and Carpenter is out. 8-4 Cubs going into the bottom of the sixth inning.

3:45pm: Baez is looking better in the back half of this game with a 2-out double.

3:46pm: It's only 4:45pm local time in Chicago, why does it look so dark?

3:47pm:
Milwaukee now leading 8-0. Cubs fans seem awfully nervous and quiet with a 4-run lead in the sixth inning, don't they? I don't blame them.

3:50pm:
Dakota Fanning Hudson is on the mound for St. Louis. The Cubs should score 30 runs against this guy, Kris Bryant being the first candidate.

3:52pm: Carpenter with a bad throw to first, Hudson couldn't do anything with it and Bryant is safe on first. Oh, yeah, and Baez runs home on the play. 9-4 Cubs.

3:54pm: Heyward is overdue for an offensive output. A 2-1 count with 2 outs and runners on the corners should help with that.

3:55pm: Heyward draws a walk to load the bases. Has Almora Jr. ever hit a grand slam? With only 5HR on the season I'm guessing no.

3:56pm: Almora's broken bat hit is badly fielded by Wisdom and a run scores and the bases remain loaded. 10-4 Cubs.

3:57pm: Sixth inning comes to a close but the Cubs extend the lead to six runs again. 10-4 Cubs.

4:04pm:
Martinez with a hit to the wall but only a single. Good old Wrigley. I think Telus Field is bigger.

4:06pm: Surprisingly this is only my second beer of the game: it's a "Honey Cream Ale" called "Switch Point" from Siding 14 in Ponoka. It's not bad.

4:07pm: DeJong is the first out of the 7th inning. Double play is now an option.

4:09pm: O'Neill hits a single, so runners on first and second. That double play is still an option, guys. Hint hint hint...

4:12pm: With Milwaukee running away with their game (10-0, top of the 8th) this six run game looks scary. Fortunately Kintzer strikes out Wisdom to make it a little less scary.

4:13pm: See? Still scary though. Baez's throw isn't fast enough and Bader loads the bases with two outs. Pitching change coming up.

4:17pm: Cishek is trying that weird side throwing nonsense. It's the 162nd game of the year, you can't afford to be cute and let a guy get up 3-1 on you.

4:19pm: Sure thing, hit the batter and let them score. No biggie, just the season on the line. 10-5 Cubs

4:21pm: STRIKEOUT! Imagine how awesome that would have been without allowing the run? The ground crew is doing the traditional "last" seventh inning stretch. Who will do it tomorrow?

4:22pm: Shouldn't baseball be adding more stretches with recent research indicating you shouldn't sit for more than an hour at a time?

4:30pm: Milwaukee won their game 11-0. If the Cubs lose this afternoon it will be the second worst loss Detroit has in September while giving the other team the pennant. Cubs go 1-2-3 in the bottom of the 7th, still 10-5 Cubs.

4:36pm:
That was a nifty little play to get Carpenter out.

4:39pm: With (hopefully) only one full inning left to go, Martinez keeps the 8th alive after a hit to second base that Baez just can't play properly.

4:45pm: Still scary! But a hit to deep right is caught by Heyward and it's now 10-5 Cubs going into the Bottom of the 8th.

4:54pm: NINTH INNING HERE WE COME. 10-5 Cubs.

4:58pm: Neat. Cubs have the first pitch of 2018 and the last pitch of 2018 (excepting tomorrow's 162nd game).

4:59pm: Wisdom strikes out and the Cubs are 6 outs away from playing a 163rd game.

5:01pm: Bader's wild swing leaves the Cubs one more out away. Everybody put your caps on inside out!

5:03pm: Munoz walks, so there's a runner on first with two outs.

5:04pm: Munoz at second, Pena fouls so it's now a 1-2 count with 2 outs.

5:05pm:
Is Bill Murray in the crowd? I think I saw that guy from whatever show that was, he badmouthed Edmonton on Jimmy Kimmel.

5:06pm: It's now a full count. Two outs. Runner on second. Cubs nursing a 5-run lead...

5:07pm: Pena pops out and it's a 10-5 Cubs win. We're going to Game 163!


5:10pm: So the Cubs went into this game with big questions about their offense. I think those questions are still mostly valid, but at least a taste of what this team can do. It's also useful that the Cubs went through 9 pitchers today but none really had a long outing, and the heart of the bullpen is rested. Obviously I won't be liveblogging tomorrow's game since that whole "Monday at 11am means I'm at work" thing will interfere, but hopefully in 24 hours the Cubs have another NL pennant under their belts.

5:18pm: That actor is Brian Posehn by the way and there's no indication he's a Cubs fan. Here he is on Conan talking about Edmonton and how he destroyed a toilet here at his Yuk Yuks show. This reminds me again that I still haven't told my Andy Dick story. Regardless, I'm calling this a night for now. The Cubs win, the season is extended, and at least today is a slightly better sports day than yesterday was. Around the league by the way the Yankees did crack 100 wins but stalled out there as Boston beat them again tonight. The Red Sox are the AL Champs, Cleveland Indians scalped the shit out of the competition and easily won their division, with Houston and Atlanta your other two division leaders. Both the Rockies/Dodgers and Brewers/Cubs games still have to be played before we can call this a season.

2018-09-29

Copenhagen (not the chew)

Finally an update has been posted about last night's story of Copenhagen being completely shut down for a manhunt that's meant to sound like part of an attempted murder plot.

The terrorism angle has been really patted down (Boston airport on September 11th style) with this update just posted by TheLocal, a Swedish newspaper.

But other than that, all the news on this issue seems to be still from last night.

So if the Muslims who stole a car in a Sweden are unrelated to the Muslims who caused the Copenhagen manhunt, do we have two cases of simultaneous terrorism? One? Zero?

Probably not that last one.