2018-06-15

God-Emperor Trump stares down nuclear missiles, a groping feminist won't pose him any problems

August 8, 2017: The Leader of North Korea threatens to attack the United States using nuclear weapons. President God-Emperor Donald Trump angrily threatens that he is willing to destroy them in response.

June 12, 2018 (308 days later): North Korea backs down and agrees to de-nuclearize.

May 31, 2018: The Prime Minister of Canada threatens to attack the United States using his arsenal of fake eyebrowns.

June 11, 2018: President God-Emperor Donald Trump threatens that he is willing to (economically) destroy Canada in response.

Do you have any illusion that Rat Bastard 2.0 is more intimidating than Kim Jong Un?



As an aside, I think there's something to Small Dead Animals commenter A Canadian's post:

The difference is that Donald Trump has made clear he’s not interested in peace at any price. Kim Jong-Un can either get rid of his nukes or be defeated in battle and killed. Simple as that.

No, Trump doesn’t care about South Korea. If nothing else but turning the Korean peninsula into a smoking ruin and leaving China and Japan to clean up the mess will stop Kim Jong-Un from nuking the United States, that’s fine by Trump. Fewer factories in Korea means more jobs for Americans.

Turns out that’s all it took.
You might find it quite the cynical bit of realpolitik but I think the point stands. It comes to mind Quark in the Star Trek: Deep Space Nine episode "The Maquis", who tried advocating for peace using an economic argument. Much of what Quark said in that scene doesn't hold water particularly in the context of the episode, but there was this little exchange which is similar to the Trump-NOKO summit:
Quark: You want to acquire peace. Fine, peace is good. But how much are you willing to pay for it?

Sakonna: Whatever it costs.

Quark: That's the kind of irresponsible spending that causes so many business ventures to fail. You're forgetting the Third Rule! Right now, peace could be bought at a bargain price, and you don't even realize it.
History is full of men who wanted peace and didn't get it (Chamberlain, Carter), and men who weren't particularly invested in peace but aw shucks if it's available why not pick it up, I'm already flying to foreign countries and negotiating with people anyways (Nixon, Trump).

Only Nixon could go to China, speaking of Vulcans discussing economics, so maybe only Trump could go to North Korea?

2018-06-14

World Cup 2018

If you remember a decade and change ago I came up with a mid-tournament way of predicting World Cup winners based on the Second World War.

It's too early to come up with predictions after-the-fact-pattern-recognition for the 2018 World Cup so far, but with Russia destroying Saudi Arabia 5-0 today I'm going to have to start the preliminary thoughts about something...

So far the options are:

- Size of armoured vehicle fleets

- Better treatment of evil faggots

- More athletic national leader

The most exciting and important sporting tournament on the planet begins today

And Winnipeg is going down....

You didn't think I was talking about something else, did you?

2018-06-09

"But all the other frenzies of passions–impious both toward the bodies and toward the sexes–beyond the laws of nature, we banish not only from the threshold, but from all shelter of the Church, because they are not sins, but monstrosities."


(The joke so good it's a shame I only get to use it twice a year)

Look faggots.

You know you're evil. I know you're evil. You know your sexual proclivities are such a crime against God and Nature that you off yourself more often than celebrity purse designers.

You can revel in it as much as you want. But understand that I'm better than you: I'm stronger than you, I'm smarter than you, and I'm more moral than you. But some of you evil poofters are so retarded that you still can't grasp this. I don't want to have to make another example of one of your sick kind like I did last month.

But I probably will. Stop parading and become a better person. My arms are getting tired.

2018-06-02

McDonalds $1 Drink Days (offer not available when your Premier has an illegitimate sexual orientation)

It's back! Even though summer doesn't technically come until June 21st, May-long weekend marks the return of McDonald's $1 Summer Drink Days! It's always a fun time, and marks the end of my consumption of fries since the burger and the $1 large is always the best bargain. It's also a constant reminder that McDonald's (and all fast-food companies) Jew you on the drinks the other 8½ months of the year...it's not like Micky D's is taking a loss even selling you a large Sprite for $1. It was like when McDonald's dropped the price of the Big Xtra in the early 2000s to $1.50 to compete with Burger King: it turned out the years they spend charging you $3.45 for the exact same burger was all just because that's the price you dumbly paid.

Even though it feels great now, it always burns me that the promotion ends after the September long weeekend: on September 4th McDonald's drinks go back to their (even more) overpriced regular price.

However my keen eye noticed something that made my heart skip when I looked at the McDonald's website today...the dreaded legal asterisk next to the "$1".



Wait, are they making it $1 pre-tax? I briefly thought, until I remembered that this has been the norm for years: show up at McDonalds with a loonie and ask for a drink, they'll ask you where your nickel is. So what could this be? Well it turns out that not everybody in the country gets $1 drink days...a certain bumfuck province being run by an evil dyke is exempted...


That's right, "offer may vary in Southwestern Ontario". The land of the 13% PST and the carbon tax even worse than Alberta's has apparently raised the cost of living so much that McDonald's can't make money on a 3.57x profit margin. Indeed, a little searching reveals that a large Coke in SW Ontario is going to cost you a whopping $1.50 (plus 13% PST)..

Why is McDonald's charging $1.50 for a large soda/pop/ fountain drink in southwestern Ontario???
I was in London today and they charged $1.50.
Yesterday I was in Mississauga and they charged $1 for a large.
I went on the mobile app and entered different McDonald's locations and they were almost all $1 for a large pop in most of Southern Ontario. When I checked Chatham, it was $1.50.

What makes pop more expensive in Southwestern Ontario? I'd like to know
I know why, kiss0136. I know exactly why...

2018-05-05

144th Running of the Kentucky Derby

At about 4:46pm this afternoon Edmonton time, the 2018 Kentucky Derby will be run. As always, Third Edge of the Sword is happy to participate with mint juleps, funky hats, and making fun of that faggot NBC Sports puts on their Derby pre-show.

This year will feature a couple minor differences from previous years, a couple surprises including actual betting on the event. Can the current favourite Justify be the first horse since the Chester Arthur administration to win the Derby after skipping out on racing last year? Will a Middle Eastern horse finally win it all this year? Can an Albertan die from over-consumption of mint juleps?

With race time looming, here's my unofficial picks for the fastest two minutes in sports other than that time an NFL negro was caught stealing phone chargers from hotel lobbies:

Win: Magnum Moon
Place: Justify
Show: Bolt d'Oro
4-3-2-1: Audible

2018-05-02

BREAKING NEWS!

Partisan committee acted partisanly...

On an unrelated note, as Mike Pompeo is sworn in as Secretary of State I find myself thinking about all the Trump appointments that still haven't been ratified. At first the left denied there was anything of the sort that the the procedural delays were normal, now they openly brag about how awesome they are for this unprecedented maneuver. If these choices were really as bad as they said and be so unsuccessful wouldn't they want these people in place in order to cause the Trump Administration to create chaos with their policies and lead to big gains in November? Isn't the fact that so many picks have been stalled an indication that they would do a bangup job?

2018-04-27

We found the woman who wants millions more Minassians running around

During my research for Wednesday's post about Shiny Pony's sudden lack of interest in root causes I came across a National Post Letter's Page that discussed his comments along with other matters.

Here's Big Smoke's own James Morton on "root causes" (Vox's Zack Beauchamp please take note...):

Justin Trudeau was not wrong in suggesting that we look at the motives behind terrorist acts such as the bombing of the Boston Marathon. Where he went off the tracks was when he emphasized the importance of taking into account the “root causes” of such acts and that failure to do so risked “marginalizing even further those who are already feeling like enemies of society.” The implication of such statements is that society should take some responsibility for this marginalization.

One wonders if somebody could get around to asking Rev. Canon Dr. D.V. MacDonald if he thinks "penetrating questions" about how men are supposed to deal with the massive rates of rejection by women need to be asked...
Listen (read) closely and you will realize that Mr. Trudeau has no time for terrorism, and of course he defends the rigorous pursuit of misguided terrorists, but it is not mutually exclusive to ask some of the more penetrating questions as to “root causes” as you so glibly define it.

And since the Canadian left-wing extremists are declaring war on Barbara Kay these days, it seems only fitting to wonder if Caroline Lemieux is causing men to mow down innocents on the streets of Toronto, and whether she can acknowledge that she's more the "root cause" of what happened on Monday than George W. Bush (pbuh) is responsible for ISIS or the Muslim Brotherhood.
Maybe if we loosened up about how the sexual urges of teenagers are immoral, there would be less of a drive for them to loosen up with alcohol and drugs and get hurt much more deeply in the process.
So you want teenage girls to decide to sleep with men more easily...but also more sober and therefore be even more picky.

The blood of a dozen people are on your hands now, Caroline.

2018-04-25

Shiny Pony has lost his interest in "root causes"

Over in Toronto, unlike "lone wolf" cases like the Parliament Hill shooter or the Edmonton U-Haul drive-overs, this case of a single crazy guy killing people [despite, what nobody seems to have commented on, strict and getting-stricter gun control... -ed is clearly a wide-ranging conspiracy that is part of an even wider-ranging cultural problem.

Toronto faggot Arshy Mann has the details:
incel refers to involuntary celibate essentailly meaning that a person cant get laid because of their looks personality the incels make up one segment of the broader manosphere a collection of online masculinist communities that interplay with one another incel was a term actually coined by a queer Toronto woman in the 90s to give a name to how she was feeling at the time it morphed into something horrific i cant uninvent this word nor restrict it to the nicer people who need it

Please note as a quick aside that when it came to violent terrorism that NDP Leader Jasmeet this same poofter was all about the nuanced and detailed analysis of both sides:

These types of stories are rarely told in the Canadian press when the issues of the Punjab conflict or Khalistan are being debated. But NDP leader Jagmeet Singh has acknowledged that suffering in a way that makes many Canadian Sikhs feel heard. “Sadly, the pain and trauma of violence cannot be left behind in the country of origin,” Singh wrote in a Globe and Mail op-ed. “It was brought with them to Canada, as it affected the victims to their core.”

While it's tempting to pick on Mann, a hilariously named limp-wristed pansy who spends his time attacking Barabara Kay for daring to believe that men have human rights that should be recognized by society and governmental bodies, Rat Bastard 2.0's government has been ridiculously hypocritical that a single pillow biter who writes for XTra can only dream of achieving. The fact that a Toronto bulldyke coined the term that will be used to destroy her sad groups is a "fake news" level of boomerang branding, but otherwise not that exciting.

On one hand Shiny Pony wants G7 nations to respect the "woman's right to choose" (to murder innocents) at the same time he wouldn't dare suggest that Alek Minassian was exercising his "right to choose". That's a small level of irony.

But the bigger level has to come from the wake of the Boston Marathon bombing (which started the your town here-strong trend that irrationally combines tragic accidents like Humboldt with deliberate attacks like Toronto), and the infamous Shiny Pony quotes about terrorism...
Now, we don’t know now if it was terrorism or a single crazy or a domestic issue or a foreign issue,” he said. “But there is no question that this happened because there is someone who feels completely excluded. Completely at war with innocents. At war with a society. And our approach has to be, where do those tensions come from?

“Yes, there’s a need for security and response,” Trudeau added. “But we also need to make sure that as we go forward, that we don’t emphasize a culture of fear and mistrust. Because that ends up marginalizing even further those who already are feeling like they are enemies of society.”
So is the Shiny Pony going to put his money where his mouth is? (literally)

The Canadian government runs something called the Canada Centre for Community Engagement and Prevention of Violence primarily to bribe people (mainly those who come from countries where sex with goats is a valid solution to the "incel" problem) so that they don't blow shit up. Will that agency start providing services for Men's Rights Associations across the country?

Will the media cheerleaders like Andrew Coyne who trumpted his "root causes" talk as the wisdom Gotham City Needs If Not Deserves now similarly hold feet to the fire of beta losers like Arshy Mann or Justin Trudeau if they "emphasize a culture of fear and mistrust" against Men's Rights organizations? Where do these tensions come from?

We already know, of course, where these tensions come from. Women are much more restrictive in their choice of partners than men are, particularly in the early adult formative years. This giant gulf in the sexual dynamic between the sexes uses to be balanced out by the twin forces of religion (which mandates that sexual and romantic dynamics go hand in hand, which evened the odds a little) and the similarly imbalanced economic dynamic between the sexes. Women wanted good money and that could be found with a successful guy who didn't look like Hugh Jackman (though economics does play a role in that, too).

But now women can make good money. In fact, in Canada the same Trudeau government that isn't looking into the root causes of the Toronto attacker (who, unlike Muslim terrorists, is still only one guy on the entire planet) is similarly taking more and more action against companies that even legitimately pay men more than women for the same job. But they aren't doing the same thing with sex. When a man and a woman both interview to be a floor sweeper at Walmart it's illegal to offer him $18/hr and her $17.50. But when both that man and woman walk into a bar and she can pick up 95% of the guys in there and he's lucky to pick up 2% of the drunk girls at last call whose friends thought they already left and took a cab home, no government action is taken.

So the double standard is really what's sickening. A few dozen Muslims a year can commit terrorist acts across the West and we can't look into any pattern: one guy in Toronto does the same thing that one guy in Edmonton does, and suddenly "incel" is a thing that we need to Voxsplain and combat.

Charitably we can call it east-coast bias. Realistically we know what it is: Arshy Mann isn't the only one with a critical male aspect he isn't using correctly.

2018-04-24

#BostonStrong

Yesterday, for the second time in a month, an immigrant who should never have been in the same country as a Canadian steering wheel killed a double-digit number of (mostly white) people.

2018-04-22

Don't even get me started on how iPhones only Bluetooth with other iPhones

Business Insider tackles why it's so hard to replace a battery on your iPhone:

It's in Apple's best interest to make sure customers are upgrading to new $700 iPhones instead of extending the life of their current devices with a new $29 battery. About 2/3 of Apple's revenue comes from iPhone sales and Wall Street judges the company on how many iPhones it sells each quarter. On top of this, Apple has been giving customers fewer reasons to upgrade the iPhone each year. New iPhone models have looked the same pretty much since 2014 and the iPhone 8 doesn't have a lot in there to convince people to upgrade from the iPhone 7. And the iPhone X's $1000 price tag has turned a lot of people off from upgrading.
All fine and good, non? It's probably not news to anybody that the Laffer Curve Moore's Law has basically ended and a phone made in 2016 isn't that much better than a phone made in 2018. Other than wear and tear on the device (as you routinely bump your phone around and/or drop it you can cause microfractures and miniscule short circuits which can add up over time), the only need to replace your iPhone is if the battery caves in on you. No real news here.

But then the article by two imbeciles named Kevin Reilly and Steve Kovach goes off the deep end. Like, off the deep end if there was no water in the pool and they damaged their brains:
Even though this process sounds annoying, it's actually better than a lot of Apple's competitors. Samsung, HTC, Motorola, and several other companies have said they don't intentionally slow down their devices to preserve battery life but they also don't make it easy to replace it. It's not like there's a Samsung store you can walk into and get your battery replaced. You have to mail it in.
ARE. YOU. KIDDING. ME.

No, there isn't a "Samsung store" you can just walk into and have them manually replace your cellphone battery. But do you know what Samsung, LG, Motorola, and basically every cellphone manufacturer other than Apple do have? That's right, removable batteries!

Honestly, are people really that clueless? You can pick up the battery while you're picking up the weeks' groceries for crying out loud!