2007-04-29

Harry Neale, who whips up professional analogies like a...professional...whipping...device

I'd mentioned earlier that Harry Neale should have been upset that his lacklustre skills would be laid bare for all to see without the protective lightning rod for incompetance which is Bob Cole.

Friday night I went to a friend's place and watched the game. Neale was in fine form... which is to say that he said a bunch of crap that made no sense. Apparently a player can have "more cups than a fancy restaurant" which is silly when you remember a university student living in an old guy's basement probably has more cups than all but the most elite players. Rocket Richard is the champ in this category with 11 cups. I think any two people living together can beat that, not needing a restaurant (fancy or no).

Likewise, a shot from the slot which harmlessly flew into the webbing was a "grenade without a pin in it". This one I'm not sure about. Would a grenade without a pin in it not be a shot that made it into the net? A grenade with a pin in it won't blow up, which is the only reason you'd throw a grenade: in other words, an offensive attempt with failed. This isn't a strong argument though so anybody who wants to oppose this is welcome to it.

The real icing on the cake has to be his comment that a player (Naslund, I believe) who made a dynamite almost-goal was a "real ten-biller". Google has no idea. Does anybody out there in internet-land know what a ten-biller is? If you tell me it saves an angry letter demanding an answer from the CBC ombudsman.

In tonight's game Neale was no better. He started by horribly misquoting Tom Clancy with "if you kick a tiger in the rear end you'd better escape". Then he mentioned how a player appeared to have a run-in with Edward Scissorhands. No ten billers in the parts of the game I've caught, but the night's still young.

Speaking of which, something that always bothers me. The Britney-mesh they installed around the rink, I wish announcers would stop talking about the 'netting'. Because in my mind, the 'netting' is the white mesh that lines the back of the net, and when I hear about the puck getting shot into the netting my heart stops halfway through the word, and my brain is dying from thinking a shot has hit the net. I know my eyes tell me otherwise, but sound tends to impact the brain more potently (biopsychologists wishing to use this idea as their doctoral thesis should attribute to FACLC with care). Please please please call it something else. My coronary tract can't take it.

Bonus Harry Neale link: Only Maple Leafs fans could ever come to the defense of Harry Neale. And then to boldy remind us why the CBC makes us want to blow up their offices with bomb-making skills we learned reading Tom Clancy books:

I agree. It has to be a combination of neale/cole/bowen for it to feel like a Leaf game.
And to really feel like a Leafs game, it has to occur sometime between October and March...

1 comments:

NateDawg said...

Harry Neale is an asshole. Did you know that he lives in Buffalo, NY so that he can avoid paying Canadian taxes, even though its Canadian taxes that pay his salary. He's a treasonous half-wit.