Gretzky/Messier starting a grand Edmonton tradition

Today Edmonton welcomed home the second-greatest one: Mark Messier will have his number retired against Phoenix. Thanks NHL schedule, for making a NY Rangers at Edmonton Oilers a statistical unlikelihood before 2011 or so.

This morning an event was held at Churchill Square (due to be Mike Grier Square within the calendar year) to honour "The Moose". Mayor Mandel was wearing an old-school Messier jersey, and my first thought when I saw him on TV was "wow, Mark's really let himself go".

So now we have Wayne Gretzky Drive (Dr. Wayne Gretzky Dr.) and Mark Messier Trail. If the city names a road after Todd Marchant, I'm moving to Calgary.

Seriously, though, its time to look into naming other Edmonton landmarks after Oilers. I have assembled a small list:

  1. Rename Gallagher Park after Mike Comrie. We'll never have to worry about watering the shrubs if we have a Mike Comrie Park.
  2. The Whitemud Drive can be named after Chris Pronger, which should cut down on traffic. Hell, I'll put an extra 30 miles on my car a day to avoid taking Pronger Drive.
  3. Edmonton City Hall can be renamed Mike Peca City Hall. Both Peca and City Hall cost way too much money, didn't do what they were supposed to do, and ultimately weren't needed anyways.
  4. A police station should be named after Dave Semenko.
  5. Likewise, a rehab centre should be named after Grant Fuhr, along the Betty Ford model.
  6. Since Paul Coffey could skate rings around most players, and Anthony Henday already has a university residence named after him, the latter's name should be taken off the outer city ring road, and the former's put in its place. Alternately, Coffey could be the name given to the west half of the ring road currently under planning stages.
  7. 91.7 The Bounce, in deference to the only reason anybody listened to it, should be named 91.7 The Laraque
  8. The now closed Sidetrack Cafe should remain a legend, and the new home for live music should be "Club Niinimaa".
  9. A kindergarten should be named after Doug Weight.
  10. Maverick Brewing Company and Zender Ford should both be named after Craig MacTavish. [boo-urns! -ed]
  11. Edmonton's CariWest festival should be renamed after Anson Carter.
  12. Speaking of festivals, say goodbye to Klondike Days, forget about Capital Ex, why not every year party it up at SatherDays!
  13. Even though he's still with the team, Little Italy should be named what we all know it as: PisaniVille

    and finally....

  14. 107th Avenue, one of the city's major east-west thoroughfares, should be named after the player who has done more for the Edmonton Oilers than any other player in history: Mike Vernon

(feel free to add more suggestions in the comments)


ABFreedom said...

Oh great ... my GPS is gonna be totally screwed now....

Darryl said...

Yeah, you're right about Vernon. Other than '86, he stunk the joint out against Edmonton. A lot of people talk about Gretzky's slapshot goal in overtime of Game Two in the 1988 Smythe Div. final. However, I think the worst one was Essa Tikanen's frisbee that drifted in from the top of the circle over Vernon's shoulder in overtime of Game 7 in the first round of the 1991 playoffs. It was like watching a puck-shaped balloon drifting slowly on the breeze and into the net.