My shoes are too tight, but it doesn't matter, because I have forgotten how to dance

Was listening to ESPN radio in the McDonalds drive-thru lineup and came across the discussion of this interesting tale that might even be true: Texas Outfielder Kevin Mench is on a hot streak after discovering he's been wearing the wrong size of shoe.

Mench missed five of the Rangers' first 14 games with a sprain in the second toe of his right foot, a condition that Rangers team physician Dr. John Crates identified as "turf toe." Turf toe, however, normally only affects the big toe. But using a toe and footprint the way a police detective would use a fingerprint, the doctor identified the cause of Mench's curious condition: He was wearing size 12 shoes when he needed to wear size 12½.

In other baseball news, one might ask how my numerous baseball pools are doing. The clever observer will note I've gone to an all-hockey format as of late. This is because the major political stories are at the moment silly (still, I shall address them in a post or two), and because the Oilers 2-1 series lead is suddenly the hot topic of the day. So how are my teams doing?

How many adjectives for lousy can you think of?

My flagship team in our buddy-league is currently 14-22-0, 9 games out of first and only 5th out of 6 teams in the league. I am only 1½ games back at the moment, so that's not a huge shocker. Also I'm playing the league speedbump this week, so my 6-4-2 lead over him should grow over the next few days. I hope. Oh please God. This team is also suffering injury bugs: Coco Crisp, C.C. Sabathia, Chipper Jones, and Derek Lee all on the DL to start this week off. Jones has since come back into the lineup (hitting a 2-RBI homer on Tuesday, not that I would have put him into the lineup on his first day back anyways), but its still brutal. I ended up having to make a deal I really didn't want to do: Adam Dunn, Billy Wagner, and Mark Buehrle for Travis Hafner, Jose Valverde, and Pat Burrell. I was lacking in offensive punch, and when Sabathia is back I'll have a full pitching rotation again. Its still not a great deal: Hafner is off to a great start which he's bound to slow down on, Buehrle is looking to be elite beyond belief for at least the first half of this season, and Adam Dunn is not only on fire this year with some great early numbers but also dual-position eligibility. In return I get Burrell, who's OBP usually spikes in April/May and dies down for the rest of the year, and a fairly straight-up relief pitcher trade...even though Wagner is an early favourite over the D-backs closer-man. Wagner also has the safer job, without Greg Aquino and Brandon Lyon itching to get the top job and the skill to do it. (Who's Wagner have to nervously look behind? Pedro Feliciano? Aaron Heilman?)

As for the other leagues (drafting results can be found here):

The Alberta Mariners are 13-17-0, languishing in 10th out of 12. Currently 8½ games back, they are tied with the team which beat them 6-4-0 last week. Derek Lee, Eric Gagne, and Dimitri Young are all on the DL.

The Edmonton Separatists are 17-11-2, which is 7½ games back but still good enough for 4th place out of 12. Currently 7-1-2 in this week's matchup, C.C. Sabathia, Dustin Hermanson, and Julio Lugo are currently unavailable due to injury.

The Royal Alberta Navy lost half a point yesterday, with only 39 points in the rotisserie league. This puts them 11th place out of 12, with only Coco Crisp now on the DL with the return of Chipper Jones.

The current disappointing baseball news is this story. I don't even want to talk about it. No, even if it means Wagner got lit up.