2017-10-19

There's always next century

Well finally an ace comes through in the 2016 MLB postseason.

After last night's miracle win forced a Game 5 in the NLCS, the Chicago Cubs have been eliminated 11-1. Clayton Kershaw pitched a 1-run game over 6 innings and the Dodgers shutdown bullpen shut...the...Cubs...down...setting a new MLB record for postseason shutout innings by a bullpen.

I'm disappointed. I wrote last year how Chicago winning the World Series fundamentally changed the dynamic of cheering for this team and a not-entirely small part of me wanted to see the Game 7 collapse that almost happened. The Cubs were the lovable losers.

Now they come in as defending World Series Champions and while I sensed the whole time that the Cubs weren't the team of destiny they appeared to be last year, I was more hopeful of a win this year than last, bizarrely enough. After all, the Cubs followed up their 1907 World Series win with their 1908 World Series win...and then a century and change of heartache and disappointment. I was looking forward to a repeat of 1907/1908 frankly: two years in a row to make the fans think they have a dynasty, then the next few decades having those fans' children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren die having never watched a World Series win for their favourite team.

Now baseball is looking like it's going to get the New York-New YorkLos Angeles World Series, as the Yankees are flipping the script on the Astros.

But the Cubs aren't going to be in it. The Cubs aren't going down in history as the team that wins twice a row...every century or so. They remain a team in search of a new identity. I really think we had it.

2017-10-01

Canada's Netflix™ Tax is 10%

Well that didn't take long.

It was only September 27th that Shiny Pony's evil government announced a special deal with Netflix to come up with crappy Canadian content. Why didn't they come up with special Canadian content before? Oh, right. Because nobody cared.

The Globe and Mail's extreme leftist reporter Daniel Leblanc actually put this line into the story.

The plan doesn't include new taxes on digital companies or Internet service providers, despite recurring calls in Canada's cultural industries for a "level-playing field" with foreign-based firms.
Oh, it goes on.
Instead, federal sources said the key element in the announcement will be the Netflix agreement that showcases Ottawa's ability to get foreign Internet companies to increase their investments in Canada. The deal is expected to facilitate the viewing of Canadian movies and TV series on the popular streaming service, but also include a production house in the country, the sources said.

In an interview, Ms. Joly declined to discuss any element of the deal before the official announcement. Still, she said her government is already reaping the benefits of holding direct negotiations with large Internet companies instead of imposing taxes or regulations on them.

"The reality is that the way to have the biggest impact, and the biggest impact for our cultural sector, is to have deals between the government and these companies. I'm convinced that this is the Canadian way," she said. "Because behind this deal-making approach, there is a vision to support our creative industries as a whole."

The reality, of course, is that Netflix Canada decided to spend $500 million that the market didn't support. Trudeau's evil government trumpeted this as their big achievement. [oh, they also spent another $25 million/year on the CanCon fund that makes art you don't care about... -ed]

So today Netflix informed its Canadian users that effective October 22 (possibly the date depends on the user's billing date) their monthly rate is going to $10.99/month.

Your monthly price is increasing to $10.99 on October 22. Our updated pricing is part of our commitment to improve Netflix, so you have even more of what you like to watch waiting for you. Thanks for being a loyal member.
That brings the cost up a full $1 from the previous $9.99, for a Netflix tax of 10%.

Hell, they have to pay for this unwanted content somehow. They're charging users more and that worthless asshole of a PM gets to pretend he didn't break yet another promise.

2017-09-30

Edmonton Eskimos vs Winnipeg Bluebombers Liveblog


7:17pm: Live from a chilly fall evening in Edmonton Alberta, the 7-5 Edmonton Eskimos take on the team that gave them their first loss of the season, the 9-3 Winnipeg Blue Bombers. It's been a rough few weeks to be an Eskimos fan, after a couple months of it being very very very awesome. The Esks have added their second NFL reject in the month of September, with Aaron Grymes joining Derel Walker as the latest Yankee to try to help the team out. My pizza is on its way, I have a fresh stock of Hoegaarden available for the drinking, and with any luck you can join me as we watch the Eskimos return to their winning form from earlier in the season. Meanwhile K'mpec is at the game taking his fifth consecutive stab at watching the Eskimos win buy the winning 50/50 ticket. Depending on his cellphone service we may be able to check in on him during the action.

7:24pm: Who the hell is this team? Hamilton is presently leading toronto 35-27. Sure the Argos are charging up the field and the 3-minute warning just sounded, but it looks like the Tiger Cats are on a tear. Basically they and the Eskimos flipped positions from the first part of the season.

7:26pm: TSN is going to switch to the Esks game in four minutes, right?

7:28pm: I wonder if my friend in Hamilton is at the game. She would have just watched her team get a big interception to stall Ricky Ray's big drive.

7:38pm: Toronto ties up the game with seconds left, and we still haven't cut to the Eskimos game?

7:39pm: There we go. TSN-3 (which is the one I am tuned to!) is switching to Edmonton.

7:40pm: CF-18s flew overheard for Military Appreciation Night. Last year I watched that game on my back patio. Tonight I don't even have the windows open and probably won't hear them.

1st quarter, 14:55: Matt Nichols takes the field on his own 39 yard line to kick off the non-kickoff part of the game.

1st quarter, 14:40: Great defensive play by the Esks to cost them 4 early. I could get used to this.

1st quarter, 13:17: The Eskimos seriously have to stop running laterally on kick returns. I was watching this endlessly during the two Calgary games. It never works. Press forward and try (and likely fail) to significantly gain yards.

1st quarter, 12:18: The Eskimos with the game's first first-down. Now on our own 33-yard line.

1st quarter, 10:52: The Esks have been running running running. Looks like Winnipeg has figured out our gameplan.

1st quarter, 10:18: See? QB sack and we're 3rd and 13.

1st quarter, 9:48: Did the TSN crew just refer to "Brick Field"? It's Commonwealth, dudes. I don't care what it says on the ground.

1st quarter, 7:32: Nichols's short throw doesn't hit the first down, but the Esks defense is sure giving him a lot of clear routes. Is that the plan? Give them a short-yardage opening and then tackle the receiver before he can make a gain?

1st quarter, 6:48: Medlock's field goal went wide and the Esks made a decent yardage play on the return.

1st quarter, 5:31: Great kick by the Esks puts the Bombers offense in mid-field despite our starting at the goal line.

7:58pm: Aarony Grymes is talking about his return. I see that the Argos did finally come back and win their game, putting Hamilton where they belong -- the bottom of the league.

1st quarter, 5:15: Gryme's wife and kids are gorgeous.

1st quarter, 3:44: Chick blocks a pass and forces Medlock to try another field goal. I doubt he'll miss this one.

1st quarter, 3:18: He does! Still a scoreless game!

8:04pm: A guy in a Winnipeg jersey with "Sask Sucks" was shown in the crowd. Of course his number was thirteen.

1st quarter, 2:30: First penalty of the game? It's against the Bombers.

1st quarter, 1:01: Okay guys, give up the run for a bit. They seem to have adjusted to keep us from succeeding with it.

1st quarter, 0:23: Reilly is sacked, unfortunately the penalty flag is against us. The Esks O-line isn't what it was to start the season.

1st quarter, 0:00: Fog makes up way more yardage on their punt return than I want. Time for the second quarter. Unfortunately the Bombers start in mid-field. I always think it's a shame when we let the opposition have the ball at mid-field to end the 1st and 3rd quarters since on the edges they have to run across the field. Even though it's probably not true, I always imagine it tires them out a bit to have to run 80 yards during a commercial break.

2nd quarter, 14:08: The Bombers make a pass to get a first down only to lose the ball to Grymes. Esks gain possession on the 20 to avoid a red-zone situation.

2nd quarter, 11:57: Reilly tries a long bomb to Bowman who's out of position. For some reason those two don't have the chemistry they did just last season. I noticed that even during the win streak.

8:16pm: This Sobey's "immigrants are awesome" commercial is brutal. The people coming to Canada in 2017 are nothing like the entrepreneurs we had back in J. Sobey's time.

8:17pm: Trivago should be replacing their ads with a "hey Feynman and Coulter's Love Child we're sorry we were offline for almost an hour yesterday" apology ad.

2nd quarter, 10:23: Great sack! Euclid takes down his former QB right at midfield.

2nd quarter, 10:00: Winnipeg claims a roughing the passer on the penalty review. TSN says they have a valid complaint. I don't see it but probably 6,000 slo-mo reviews will prove me wrong.

2nd quarter, 10:00: What a change. 15-yard penalty, because Nichols literally moved his head to cause the ensuing penalty.

2nd quarter, 9:22: Andrew Harris is sacked with another 3rd down for Winnipeg. C'mon Medlock, screw up another easy field goal!

2nd quarter, 8:50: He does! Third consecutive miss! Winnipeg now has a 1-0 lead. It's a hockey game.

8:26pm: Special congrats to my Chicago Cubs by the way who won 9-0 today to get a 92-69 record with one game left to play. It's no 103-58 but we'll take it. Bring on the World Series.

2nd quarter, 8:20: I thought I wsaw a flag at the end of that last play but I guess not.

2nd quarter, 7:45: I love the plays that even fool the camera-man. Everybody and I mean everybody thought Van had the ball, but instead Zylstra gets a first down.

2nd quarter, 7:09: Okay now Van took the ball. Almost another first down.

2nd quarter, 6:36: Third and inches?

2nd quarter, 5:58: Third and one, but after the chains come out the Esks have a first down. Okay, I can get another beer and hopefully call about my pizza.

2nd quarter, 5:33: Duke Williams in deep field and under coverage almost but not quite catches the ball. Funny enough I'm only slightly looking at his arms, my eyes are instead trying to see if there's a flag on the play.

2nd quarter, 4:56: 3rd and 3, and the Esks are trying for a field goal.

2nd quarter, 4:34: Hits the goalpost! It looked so good at first, but no. Bombers still lead 1-0.

2nd quarter, 4:24: TSN just made my Jets-Oilers hockey joke.

2nd quarter, 2:12: Easy no-yardage call.

2nd quarter, 2:06: No no-yard? And the O-line screws up again as Reilly is quickly under pressure and throws a short throw far behind the line of scrimmage.

2nd quarter, 1:40: O-line lets Reilly come under pressure early again and again his throw doesn't go anywhere near a first down. That's too much time to let Winnipeg have the ball.

2nd quarter, 1:32: See Edmonton? Winnipeg shows you how it's done. The kick return is charged up the field at high speed. Sure we force them out of bounds early, but that was the worst-case scenario for the Bombers. Best case would have been a TD.

2nd quarter, 1:10: Winnipeg has to try on the 3rd and 1 here, on their own 49 with a minute left in the half.

2nd quarter, 0:58: Harris with a big first down after an Esks penalty. Now Winnipeg on the Edmonton 32.

2nd quarter, 0:32: Winnipeg makes the first down on 3rd and inches. Just outside the redzone.

2nd quarter, 0:17: Harris taken down and then the Bombers immediately fumble. Unfortunately they recover and Edmonton has too many men on the field. First down on the 5. Harris is injured though, so best case scenario for Winnipeg he's gone for three plays.

2nd quarter, 0:13: Denmark gets a touchdown. Winnipeg leads 7-0.

2nd quarter, 0:06: 8-0 Winnipeg and Edmonton on our own 36 yard line. I suppose we can try for a big play but I'm already assuming this will be the score a halftime.

2nd quarter, 0:00: Boos rain down from the Edmonton faithful as the Esks take a knee and try again for the second half.

8:54pm: The CFL panel is suddenly their usual annoying selves. Mute!

3rd quarter: 14:38: Eskimos luck out when Reilly is charged with an incomplete pass, which was almost a complete pass followed by a fumble.

3rd quarter: 14:08: Van works better as a receiver than a Running Back.

3rd quarter: 13:30: See?

3rd quarter: 13:00: Zylstra is hard to take down! Another Eskimos first down!

3rd quarter, 12:44: Zylstra again, just hitting the first down before going out of bounds.

3rd quarter, 12:22: Esks are in the redzone and Van

3rd quarter, 11:44: First and Goal for the Esks as Watson pushes an extra three yards where it counts.

3rd quarter, 11:38: Maurice Leggett is injured. The Bombers are taking Edmonton's early-season win-streak mojo so it's only fair they take the injury mojo along for the ride.

3rd quarter, 11:19: TOUCHDOWN ESKIMOS! MCCARTY RUNS IT INTO THE ENDZONE! I thought I saw a flag at the end there but apparently not. 8-6.

3rd quarter, 10:51: Esks go for 2 points against my screaming recommendations, and it costs them.

3rd quarter, 10:24: Sewell gets a barely-sack, and now it's 2nd and 11 for Winnipeg on their 34.

9:26pm: Kal-Tire has a contest where you can win a trip to the Grey Cup in Ottawa. That's in less than 2 months. A little late to win that sort of a trip isn't it?

9:27pm: Blair Smith is out for the Esks.

3rd quarter, 6:50: Great throw by Nichols and Winnipeg has a first down at the Edmonton 23.

3rd quarter, 6:25: Oh great. Winnipeg is in the redzone, 1st and goal at the 5 yard line.

3rd quarter, 5:46: Harris rolls into the endzone. Nice try.

3rd quarter, 5:29: Okay that's an actual touchdown. Crap.

9:32pm: Nicole Priest of Edmonton is a traitor. Winnipeg leads 15-6

3rd quarter, 5:09: Edmonton buried at their own 26. Not looking good.

9:34pm: Reilly talking about how adversity makes the Esks a better team. I haven't seen it.

3rd quarter, 3:31: Now it's Walker's turn to push an extra yard after the catch to secure a first down.

3rd quarter, 2:04: Walker with a "catch" that I'm pretty sure hit the dirt, but he gets a 19-yard gain on the play. I'll take it.

3rd quarter, 1:11: Reilly with a bad throw to Walker/Zylstra. He should have punched his own number.

3rd quarter, 0:51: 15-9 after the Esks finally get a field goal.

3rd quarter, 0:23: What would a disappointing Esks game be without stupid penalties?

4th quarter, 14:45: Yikes. The refs reverse their previous call and the Bombers now have another TD. Automatically reviewed.

4th quarter, 12:26: Zylstra with a great catch but unfortunately he's hammered from behind seconds later.

4th quarter, 11:12: Waters makes a field goal and brings the score to 21-12.

4th quarter, 10:48: King makes an amazing block to rob Nichols of a long bomb.

4th quarter, 10:28: Grymes does the exact same thing on another Nichols long bomb attempt.

4th quarter, 10:13: Travon Van has a bag of ice on his leg. Yet another Esks injury...and again, we aren't even on a win streak. The city is still in employment hell, can't Edmonton catch any breaks in 2017?

4th quarter, 9:50: Maas throws the Challenge Flag on yet another "meh" play. He claims defensive pass interference. I don't think it's going to stick. Maas is almost at Chris Jones-level incompetence in deciding how to throw these flags. Remember that insane temper tantrum after his questionable Challenge didn't go through against Calgary?

10:02pm: Predictably, the Esks lose the challenge.

4th quarter, 9:34: Zylstra with another big catch and a 32 yard play as he keeps running and forced the Winnipeg defenders to tag along as he runs to the Winnipeg 25 yard line.

4th quarter, 8:41: TOUCHDOWN! WALKER IS COVERED BY TWO DEFENDERS AND STILL MAKES THE CATCH! 21-18.

4th quarter, 8:21: 21-19 after the kick. Edmonton is now only two points back for the first time since the first half.

10:09pm: Edmonton Journal reporting a corrupt Edmonton Police Services thug/officer was injured near the Stadium. Good. He deserved it.

4th quarter, 7:20: As always, the Esks are being sunk by dumb penalties. Boateng with an offside.

4th quarter, 6:47: Winnipeg finally gets a penalty. Well they've had 35 yards of penalties to Edmonton's fifty-seven.

4th quarter, 5:17: Horrible throw to Zylstra who still gets the extra couple yards and is close to a first down.

4th quarter, 4:45: Under pressure Reilly throws another lousy throw.

4th quarter, 4:23: Third bad throw in this series hits the dirt and therefore doesn't get intercepted.

4th quarter, 3:31: This time it's Nichol's turn to hit the dirt, though I thought Winnipeg was illegal procedure on that snap. Refs disagreed.

4th quarter, 3:03: Another 10-yard Edmonton penalty. It's okay guys, we didn't really want to win the game.

4th quarter, 2:34: Pick six by Winnipeg and the game is probably over. Esks are about to lose yet again. Walker is the intended target and instead of winning the Esks are losing. 28-19 Winnipeg.

4th quarter, 2:15: Lochard with an okay gain but he had the opportunity with an open field to make a better gain.

4th quarter, 2:07: Zylstra almost holds onto the ball at the 30 but can't make the catch. 2nd and 10.

4th quarter, 1:48: The Esks gamble on 3rd and 3 fails. Congratulations Winnipeg on not sucking like we do. 7-6 doesn't sound good at all. The crowd starts to leave apparently unaware that the cops have closed down the entire area of town because one of their evil officers got what was coming to him.

4th quarter, 1:20: Winnipeg gets another first down at the Edmonton 50. Who even cares any more?

4th quarter, 0:51: Even TSN, who constantly pushes the (admittedly true) "no lead is safe" meme is already posting standings showing Winnipeg won tonight and the Eskimos lost.

4th quarter, 0:22: The Eskimos have their (presumably final) possession. A TD would be nice just for the moral victory. We'll be lucky not to give Winnipeg another possession.

4th quarter, 0:13: With the Esks now falling to fourth in the west there's a strong possibility that they are the Eastern Crossover team...assuming we don't keep losing and fall below Saskatchewan and miss the playoffs entirely.

10:34pm: And that's the game. Final score 28-19 for Winnipeg. Sorry, I'll need a few minutes....

2017-09-13

Best. YouTube. Comment. Ever.

From this extended edit of Danny Elfman's classic score.

2017-08-28

Beerfest

There isn't a potfest movie. There isn't going to be a potfest movie. You've been watching this movie for the first time and telling me that Potfest is coming out soon for exactly eleven years now and I would like you to please stop. You're embarrassing yourself.

2017 Edmonton International Fringe Festival: A Midsummer Night's Fringe

(this post will be sticky until August 28. Scroll down for new content)

It's that time of year again.



The summer wind-down continues with the Edmonton Fringe Festival. This year to celebrate Canada 150 the fringe subtitle is "A Midsummer Night's Fringe" to honour Great Britain, the amazing nation that turned a useless land being poorly used by Red Indians into something impressive. It is doubly ironic considering that this Fringe is going to literally run until August 27th which is pretty much the end of summer, especially for schoolchildren.

Anyways this will be a quiet Fringe for yours truly since I did just wind down not one but two rather expensive Eastern vacations. Still there will be a bit of Fringe coverage, I'll try to go to the grounds a couple nights at least and see what human beauty can be on display.

And as always here at Third Edge of the Sword during the Fringe, there is a steadfast rule that can never be broken:

No fags.

For previous Fringe coverage please see last year (2016), 2015, the infamous 2014, and the similarly slow 2013.

2017-08-20

2017 Edmonton Fringe Festival review: Szeretlek: A Hungarian Love Story

For all the knocks I have to give it from the get go, it's not all that bad.

It's certainly not all that great either, but when you consider it's the dreaded "my story"/"my family story" combined with physical theatre, Szeretlek: A Hungarian Love Story could have been a lot worse. And you get to learn a new dance, a new word, plus discover how to pronounce Budapesht correctly.

The premise is simple: the story about the young love between author/costar Zita Nyarady's grandmother Catalina and the man she would end up being with as long as they both shall lived. Because Catalina came of age in the shadow of the Second World War, and in a small Hungarian town, the setting becomes as important as the characters. Nyrady also brought her...husband Mike France ...along as her co-star. Together they play different characters as the story is expressed through dance and narration.
This is, for better or worse, nothing like the "Hungarian love story" that won at the Berlin Film Festival earlier this year.

I think she said husband, but then again she didn't take his last name so it's possible that isn't even true. Of course, I'm not sure the "take your husbands name" rule is that valid when he spells it Myque Franze either.


If you're cringing at the thought of "interpretive dance" as I was when I was cajoled into attending (because of my recent long and frankly expensive as all get out vacation, I was intending to not see any plays this year), relax: there isn't really any interpretive dance. There actually isn't too much dance at all actually: there's an opening number with an umbrella and a pair of masks that are supposed to reflect Catalina and her eventual husband in old age, but end up looking vaguely like a Drazi and every cartoonist's stereotype of Hungarian features. Then there's a pivotal scene which takes place at an autumn dance involving a traditional Hungarian dance so easy they even convince the audience to do it. There's a weird dream sequence (the only interpretive number) where the actors practice the airplane ride from Grosse Pointe Blank, and that's about it for the dancing portions of the show.

The rest is just an autobiographical telling of Catalina's life. Nyrady is clearly proud of her family history, so much that perhaps she noticed there really isn't that much story there. The most compelling bit was when she was forced to choose between two men vying for her hand in marriage, the "soap opera" portion as Nyrady refers to it...but that part of the story is basically just dropped. "Oh and she chose the linguist" is the punchline and indeed the end of the story. (Relax: the identity of the successful suitor is given away in the first 5 minutes of the play)

That's really the frustrating part of the play: we're left out of all the good bits of drama. Part of that is understandable: this story was formed when Nyrady interviewed her grandmother and other family members about her life. I know full well that when you try to suss out details in this fashion, you're not going to get all of the juicy or dramatic bits. There's a extended riff on the hat Catalina bought with her first paycheque, hoping to find some sort of universal statement about the human condition or lost youth or something, when instead it's probably just that with your first paycheque you like to make a fun purchase. I can't remember what I bought with my first real paycheque but it was probably at least 5.5% alcohol (and possibly the reason I cannot remember). There are a couple decent scenes about Catalina the teacher trying to deal with children barely younger than her who were scared by WWII in such a way that no discipline could likely frighten.

As mentioned, WWII is a big part of the story even though none of the characters were old enough to have been directly involved in it (Catalina's first love is killed in the war, but whether he was old enough to serve or just a civilian casualty is never addressed). Nyrady observes that her grandmother doesn't like to talk about the war much at all, and a lot of those years are black holes in the story that simply will never be filled. This really brought to life the truism I was told once by a Canadian Forces member who had served in Bosnia in the late 90s, a time when most of the serious fighting was over and a stint in that country was just a pretty shitty paid European vacation. Having left Yugoslavia without any good war stories of his own, he recalls talking with WWII and Korean War veterans at the Legion and trying to find out from them what it was like to be in a real war, an existential battle against equally/superior equipped forces in a raging battle for the future of the globe. None of them would talk about it, even to other military veterans who had come under fire. It just wasn't something that was discussed. As he put it contrasting with some of his fellow Bosnian vets:

Men who have been in a real battle never want to talk about it. Men who haven't been in a real battle will never shut up about it.
Catalina lost her first love and her mother during that War. Remember that Hungary started as fighting for the Axis powers but was later seized by Germany after her second-rate army fell apart fighting the well-equipped Soviets in a winter campaign. Six months later the Soviets invaded and despite an official armistice the tattered remains of the Royal Hungarian Army continued to fight to keep the Russians at bay. Within months, Budapest was besieged and by the war's end Hungary was under Soviet control. At the time of this story, a Soviet puppet government was in place that lasted until the 80s.

For the most part the story itself isn't all that thrilling. Catalina buys a hat. She teaches unruly boys. She gets swindled by her future mother-in-law to pay extra for shaving soap (being told it's a miracle product). That same mother-in-law tells through (music-less!) song that she wanted her studious son to become a priest but instead he wanted to become a scholar and get married. He woos Catalina at the aforementioned autumn dance and this is where the two actors really do their best physical work at expressing something that is really hard to capture with words: the joys of young love. You remember those heady days: instead of a coffee date and then endless Netflix and Chill nights and/or Skype conversations, it's just you and this young girl you've met...the charming simplicity of it all. She likes you. You like her. You lose her for a couple hours at a bush party because she got drunk and decided to sleep it off under a van and when you found her the Red Indian guys who owned the van tried to beat you up because they're savages like that, and then you and her drive away (not in the van) and make out in a pickup along a lake somewhere just outside of Bonnyville. You know, beautiful and simple young love stories like that. The way they move and their expressions really sell that, and I appreciate it. It's the best part of the play.

After that unfortunately Catalina falls ill...literally. We're never told what the problem was and it's likely nobody ever knew. She collapsed suddenly which almost sounds like a diabetic attack, though a lifelong ailment like that would have been detected before she lived into the 21st century. The other of her suitors is a handsome doctor known to participate in weird experimental treatments: in a gory-for-kids scene he uses needles to remove blood from one area of her body and re-inject it into another. This process is technically autohemotherapy by the way, and it's a quack method. Don't try this at home with a syringe and a comatose grandmother, kids! But in the end, she wakes up, chooses her man, and...well, the abrupt ending of it sort of ruins the momentum they had been building up. This show is advertised as 60 minutes, it's only a shade over 45. I normally wouldn't ask physical theatre to run longer, and there are certainly parts earlier on that could have been trimmed, but it wouldn't be too bad to see anything of their life after he slips a ring on her finger.

As love stories go it's fairy-tale like but brutal, familiar but just a little on that border of strange and alien, not as well defined as you think it should be. In other words: it's quintessentially Hungarian.

For more 2017 Edmonton Fringe Festival content, see the portal page)

2017-08-17

2017 Edmonton International Fringe Festivals: Previously Recorded

Below is a listing of the various plays being performed at this year's Edmonton Fringe festival that have already been covered on Third Edge of the Sword. In a couple cases these are the same troupes doing very similar titles.

Dirk Darrow. I reviewed Two Ruby Knockers, 1 Jaded Dick: A Dick Darrow Investigation in 2015.

One Man Star Wars. Previously I reviewed both this show and One Man Lord of the Rings.

Breakneck Julius Casear. Previously I reviewed Breakneck Hamlet with the same cast and crew.

Peter N' Chris Best Bits. I reviewed Peter n' Chris and the Mystery of the Hungry Heart Motel and Peter and Chris who do 10,000 shows that are all manically identical.

Rigby Muldoon: Paradox at Vanderkroft Manor Previously I reveiwed Rigby Muldoon: Time Traveler For Hire.

Also, of course, there's a Die-Nasty every night, but since Danielle Smith isn't the Wildrose Party leader anymore my review will be pretty much useless for you.

(For more 2017 Edmonton Fringe Festival content, see the portal page)

2017 Edmonton Fringe Festival: No-watch previews

As discussed, being a little light on the pocketbook after my summer trip to the Maritimes, I'm going to have to take it easy on the Fringing this year. However, here's are quick previews [can you call it a "pre-view" if you won't be "view"ing them? AP Style Guide doesn't cover this topic. -ed] of various shows based on what I can discern from the Fringe Program and their marketing efforts.

The Canada Show: The Complete History of Canada in One Hour!. Check to see if I did this one? If not, it's still better than the Charlottetown presentation I saw earlier this month that claimed the last half-century of Canadian history was Jack Layton and uranists.

Alex Clark. He has fewer subscribers than Rebel Media. Hey, wouldn't a live Rebel Media presentation at the Fringe be hilarious? Really put the snowflake Fringers in their place.

Animal Farm Treatment. I wrote about this when I covered "George Orwell is not my name" but the curious thing about George Orwell is that he was in fact a committed socialist who just thinks that Trotsky instead of Stalin should have taken over from Lenin. This appears to be a retelling of Animal Farm insulting free market capitalism (the "rising tide lifts all boats" and "all animals deserve to get ahead" lines strongly indicate this) which only works if Alice Nelson is herself a Randian or at least a Reagan Democrat. To give the game away, she's not, she's a far-left extremist.

The show: Animal Farm Treatment. Yup, good ol’ George Orwell’s classic animal allegory. However, I’m doing an adaptation, bringing the animal farm metaphor into our current economy of the have and have nots. About inequality, neoliberalism and globalization. The hope is to bring the show to high schools, get students inspired to vote and question authority.

Bash'd! A Gay Rap Opera. You know this pro-poofter play is going to be absolutely horrible and disgusting and pushing the sick sodomite agenda mercifulessly. However, one bit from the tagline caught my eye: Canada's equal marriage debate collides with bombastic beats in BASH'd! That's right, debate: as in there's a second side to it. Maybe for the sequel they can find somebody willing to promote it?

Blood Countess. This story, about Hungarian serial killer Elizabeth Báthory, purports to question the authenticity of her guilt (despite the fact that the opposite was true: her wealthy and influential family kept her out of prison long after the evidence became overwhelming against her). In that vein I'm debating what to call it: Feminist Holocaust Denial? Or 8/1614 Trutherism? As an aside, what's with all the Hungarians this year? Why not last year to coincide with the 60th anniversary of 1956?


C-. What are the odds this American play will tackle the nonsense that is burdening college debt? Low-to-medium, I'm afraid.

Conventional Musical. From the tagline: Three roommates must overcome the powers of capitalism and their own struggling relationships to succeed. "Overcome" the powers of requiring you to work for money? Who can or would even want to do that?

Days of the Klondike. A musical romp through the Yukon gold rush? Sounds awesome, and there are so many great songs from the era to choose from. I'm a fan of the 1897 Chilikoot March, and there was a huge variety of (mostly ragtime) music tailored for that great land at that wonderful time. When I did my road trip to the Yukon a few years ago I brought tons of it with me for the drive and for the inspiration...and oh, wait, nevermind...
With an original score of upbeat contemporary and ole-tyme honky tonk music, two very different Klondike Kates, Alexander Pantages, Robert Service, and many other men, women and children from this bygone era will once again bring history to life!
Contemporary and "old time honkey tonk". Yep, should make the late 1890s roar to life!

Evil Dead: The Musical. While this is on my list of "shows I would see if I could afford to see shows" list, I assume it's going to really be Evil Dead 2: The Musical since that's the style everybody wants. And I suppose next year we can look forward to Army of Darkness: The Musical which couldn't possibly be more pretentous than Spamalot.

Executing Justice. *yawn*. Extreme leftists think the death penalty is bad because once every 10,000 cases the wrong person gets executed. Meanwhile SJWs execute the wrong person on a near-monthly basis these days.

Get me the Fuck Out of Edmonton! Wes Borg does an on-stage duet with the ghost of Joe Bird. Sorry, I assumed Wes Borg was dead by now too.

Give It Up. From the promoters of Jake's Gift, One Man Star Wars and This is CANCER say the tagline. "From the promoters of"? That's like saying people should watch your movie because you had the same hairstylist as Birdman. Meanwhile the show is a woman who wants to be married to Scott Baio and perform on SNL. One of the testimonials comes from extremist far-left BC union activist Anita Zaenker by the way, for an indication why you should stay away.

Hanging Out. Because "An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge" was taken.

Hockey Night at the Puck and Pickle Club
. From the tagline: Watch Canada vs USA play the 2018 Olympic Gold Medal Hockey game at the fictional Puck & Pickle Pub! One wonders how different this would have been had it been written after the NHL announced it would not be attending the Olympics or even allowing players on two-way contracts to participate.

Naked Girls Reading Presents... As they say in the tagline, you can't spell literature without T & A. On the other hand, NSFW] I just saved you $16

Oleanna. Either she's lying or this work is purely fictional. The girl is almost always a liar.

So I was in a Threesome Last Week. This gives off a really really faggy vibe: from starring apparently two men and no women (there are two men in the picture, one looking awfully ass-piratey) to the troupe being is called "Sons of Tremendous" (probably isn't related to the Proud Boys), this one looks to be in the avoidance category. Also, for the rest of Fringe I suppose El Cortez is out as a food venue. Who knows how much fecal matter has gotten into the food?

Souls. Anti-Israel play that buys into the lie that "Palestinians" are a people and not a bunch of displaced Jordanians.

Swordplay: A Play of Swords. Caution: fags.
The Best of Bombs: An Exploration of Broadways' Biggest Flops. This is a neat idea. You can eat at the Sawmill (always fun, especially when their Prime Rib is on point) and listen to songs from...Broadway...flops
. Okay, neat in concept more than execution. I wonder how many songs from "My Lady Friends" will be featured...

The Great American Songbook Cabaret. If Mark Steyn ever attended the Edmonton Fringe, you'd probably see him here at least once.

The Immaculate Big Bang. You just know that he's going to have to dance around the actual "big bang" of birth that so upsets the abortion lobby.


The Milkyway Express. From the tagline: in a post-gender future. Ugh, I hate these dystopian sci-fi gimmicks.


Wooster Sauce. This play co-stars John D. Huston, who I previously saw in Shylock.

(For more 2017 Edmonton Fringe Festival content, see the portal page)

2017-07-23

Eskimos versus Tiger Cats rewatch - 2017-07-20

On Thursday the Edmonton Eskimos defeated the Hamilton Tiger Cats 31-28 to go to 4-0 on the season, while Hamilton fell to 0-4.

But there's more to it than that. The Esks fell behind early and had trouble putting offense together for the first three quarters. At the start of the fourth quarter the Esks were down 25-13 and in danger of losing to the worst team in the CFL. A conversion kick fell short and a punt was blocked and scooped up for a Hamilton touchdown.

With 1:17 left in the game the Esks were just gaining possession on their own 30 and were down by 5 points. They proceeded to score a TD to take their first lead of the game, and then an interception on the final Hamilton drive sealed the deal.

It was a painful nailbiter to watch on Thursday: I don't think I touched my beer for much of the second half. On the other hand, now that the result is known it's very enjoyable to watch. So here it is.

2017-07-14

Abort everybody @LarryManch cares about

Every word of this is true and I stand fully by it. Larry Manch is a retarded leftist who has no problem killing innocent babies but reacts in horror about clinically aborting anybody else.



(Spoiler alert: that woman is probably named Tiffany)

2017-07-13

Fun with YouTube

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