2018-10-08

Happy Thanksgiving/Columbus Day

As usual, we celebrate turkey day in Canada by scoffing at pro-Injun activists and their baseless attacks on Chris Columbus, the man who made our modern world the wonder it was (and could be again).

2018-10-06

Naomi Toppin - remember this name

For a future series, the 14-year-old girl police say was forcibly abducted in Edmonton's name is Naomi Toppin.

Akbar said the suspect and teen were both co-operating with police. The suspect’s name was not released after the arrest was made, but earlier on Friday, police identified the suspect as Jacques Sennesael.

An Amber Alert that had been issued was lifted after Edmonton police said the 14-year-old girl, whom they initially alleged was the victim of a “forcible abduction” on Friday afternoon, had been found safe.
Jacques Sennesael, even if later found to be innocent, will continue to have his name tied with this story in the etherwebs until the day civilization falls.

Naomi Toppin's name, on the other hand, will not. And I'm developing a keen awareness (especially in the ages of #MeToo and the Kavanaugh Witch Hunts) that the names of kids in Amber Alerts need to be saved for posterity since there's a good chance Naomi's name will come across our attention here at Third Edge of the Sword World Headquarters in North Bethesda, Maryland.

2018-09-30

Chicago Cubs Game #162 liveblog: did Russell's lying wife Kavanaugh the season?

1:10pm: Coming up, the Chicago Cubs take on the St. Louis Cardinals in the final regular season game of 2018. The Cubs are already in the "playoffs" but with the two wildcard format there's a huge difference between a wildcard spot and a pennant. This morning for the first time since July the Cubs weren't first place in the NL Central (or NL in general for that matter), as the Cardinals kept their season alive (at least until the Dodgers won) and the Brewers beat down the hapless Tigers in Saturday action. Now the Cubbies are on the ropes again and much like the Eskimos their incredible offensive talents have dried up entirely in the month of September.

1:17pm: Speaking of which, wasn't yesterday one of the worst sports days in ages? The Cubs lost, the Brewers won, and the Eskimos were humiliated against the Blue Bombers. The only bright spot was the Oilers beating the Flames in preseason action, and that doesn't even count really because it's preseason action and preseason results don't correlate at all with regular season performance in the NHL. I guess Kevin Koe's win yesterday is the closest we can come to good news yesterday.

1:20pm: Not an auspicious start for the day, the Roughriders are beating the Alouettes. Meanwhile the Tigers just left men on base. A Brewers loss and Chicago win will give the Cubs the pennant. Flaherty vs Montgomery are your pitchers for today.
1:22pm:Carpenter is up to bat first and hits a double to kick things off. A 'slight mist' in Chicago today, which beats Edmonton which just broke 0C.

1:23pm:
Great bunt attempt that fortunately does result in the first out, even though Carpenter now is on third.

1:26pm: Damn, Montgomery gives up another hit and Carpenter easily scores. 1-0 Cardinals.

1:29pm: 2-0 Cardinals after an error in centre-field. I guess at least it avoids another hit against Montgomery.

1:30pm: Pop fly ends the inning but the damage has been done.

1:33pm: Leadoff walk for the Cubs, Murphy is on first base.

1:34pm: Has Flaherty even thrown a strike yet? Whoops, there's his first I think.

1:35pm: Zobrist had what sounded like a great hit but was easily caught in right. Baez is up.

1:39pm: The NBC Sports crew is discussing the pitcher management: right now Milwaukee is winning 2-0 and the Cubs are losing 2-0. Do you bring out your relievers early? My instincts say no but then again I'm not a big league manager. I'd hate to see the Cubs wear out their bullpen tonight just to win a game that might leave them tied with Milwaukee and having to play tomorrow as well.

1:40pm: After a wild pitch by Flaherty the question is flipped for the Cards: how much work do you put into winning the game? Do you throw out your pitcher's arms for a meaningless game?

1:41pm:
Baez dumbly tries to run for home and is tagged out at the plate. Inning over, still 2-0 Cardinals.

1:43pm: Cardinals don't challenge this play with Munoz being called out even though it's likely he was safe. Hopefully that comes back to bite them.

1:45pm: Cubs do not look to have any fire in them so far today. Montgomery isn't pitching like the season depends on it for sure.

1:49pm: That ump does have a great Strike Three call! Carpenter struck out and the Cardinals held scoreless in the top of the 2nd. 2-0 Cardinals remains the score.

1:56pm: Schwarber strikes out to end the bottom of the second about the same way the top ended.

2:00pm: DeJong looks awfully confident even when hitting foul balls.

2:01pm: DeJong also looked confident hitting a ball to the ivy for a double. Montgomery is done for the day.

2:04pm: O'Neill at bat, Webster is now the pitcher. Sometimes a pitching change can really change the tenor of the match. This is not feeling like one of those changes

2:05pm: Webster does start off with a strikeout, which is sort of the best possible thing a pitcher can do, so maybe I was being a little pessimistic.

2:06pm: Next at-bat is one of the worst, a HBP. So maybe my pessimism was called for after all.

2:08pm: Still 2-0 Cardinals after Zobrist clumsily nabs a hit to RF by Bader.

2:11pm:
NBC is talking about the silver lining: if the Cubs and Brewers do play tomorrow, there's a chance the Rockies and Dodgers will be doing the same. And then whichever NL Central team ends up the wildcard will host the team that has to fly out from LA the previous night.

2:15pm: Finally a hit goes the Cubs way: Murphy splits the outfielders and gets to second base.

2:16pm: So it's time to discuss the question at the top of the post: is the recent (unfounded) allegations by Russel's ex-wife timed specifically to harm Russell and his team? It smells a lot like the Brett Kavanaugh affair: allegations that don't seem to match the facts on the ground (read: the bitch is probably lying) and released just in time to cause maximum disruption. You can read the slut's attempt at fiction here. The funny thing is both USA Today and mlbtraderumors.com describe her allegations as "detailed" when they cannot be possibly described as such. There was no detail, there was if anything less detail than Ford's lying story about Kavanaugh who apparently did something to her somewhere at some time in the 80s. Here we have:

April 2017, he betrayed me once again
This is our 'detailed history' that has cost the Cubs one of their key players until at minimum the postseason. If the Cubs are playing baseball next weekend and Russell is still on administrative leave, their chances of winning the NLCS is in jeopardy. If the Cubs aren't playing baseball next weekend the question will become whether the punishment fits the 'crime'. Even if Russell is found guilty in court years from now, will it be fair to punish him at this early stage in the investigation? If Russell is found not guilty or indeed never goes to trial, how the hell can the MLB justify costing him and his employer the benefit of his circumstances?

2:17pm: Zobrist has looked awkward all day in everything he does. Jesus Ben, is your wife going to make outrageous claims on Instagram next?

2:18pm: Zobrist still looked awkward on that triple. On the other hand, it was a triple. 2-1 Cardinals.

2:19pm: The crowd sounds alive for the first time since that original Carpenter at-bat. A wild pitch allows Zobrist to slide into home easily and it's now a 2-2 tie!

2:20pm: Unfortunately Baez still is having lousy at-bats.

2:22pm: Fortunately Flaherty is having a worse one and walks him. Cardinals have relievers warming up. I guess this is the last game of their season so why not exercise the whole bullpen and give their fans the thrill of possibly watching them torpedo their rivals from Chicago?

2:23pm: Keep Baez honest by throwing to Carpenter? Sure...but Baez hadn't even taken an inch off the bag and didn't appear that keen to do so. The crowd groans and laughs.

2:26pm: Rizzo hits his 100th RBI as this time Baez actually scores on his run home. 3-2 Cubs.

2:27pm: Bryant is intentionally walked to be Flaherty's final batter.

2:31pm: Heyward's hit makes it 4-2 Cubs as Rizzou scores.

2:34pm: Schwarber ends his second consecutive inning but the damage is done. 4-2 Cubs remains your score.

2:38pm:
Munoz hits a foul ball to the right hand side which ends up caught by a Cardinals fan, appropriately enough.

2:42pm: Garcia is out with a swing so wild that he puts into such a show that the umpire doesn't bother with his own theatrics. Cardinals held scoreless three innings in a row now. 4-2 Cubs but the Brewers are also winning their game 3-0.

2:48pm: Mills tries a golf swing there.

2:50pm: Dodgers winning 14-0 in the fifth inning. Wasn't there a Cleveland Indians game like that just a couple weeks ago?

3:01pm: Mills strikes out Tyler O'Neill. 4-2 Cubs. Meanwhile the Dodgers (14-0 lead) and the Rockies (7-0 lead) are definitely poised to face off tomorrow which may make facing off against Milwaukee tomorrow easier to swallow.

3:03pm: Baez with a lame hit that fortunately slips past the Cardinals fielders.

3:06pm: Cubs offense is starting to look dangerous again. Rizzou's double puts two Cubs in scoring position with no outs.

3:08pm: Another at-bat, another hit! Kris Bryant hits a 2-RBI double and it's now 6-2 Cubs!

3:09pm: Heyward is the first Cubs out of the inning.


3:11pm: Conteras home run! He and Bryant both come home on that play and now it's 8-2 Cubs with two outs in the bottom of the 5th.

3:12pm: I thought that was iffy. The umpires are conferring now but it appears this home run will be called back.

3:13pm: Umpires seem to think they won't review without a challenge, and the home run stands. 0-2 count to Mills. If the inning continues after this batter the Cubs own this game.

3:14pm: Score is now 8-2 Cubs at the end of the 5th inning.


3:20pm:
The Cardinals offense finally comes alive on a double by Wisdom.

3:23pm: Mills' control seem suspect now, 1-2 count turns into a walk. Runners on first and second with no outs.

3:24pm: Mills is done for the day. This IBM commercial Sportsnet keeps playing is getting more and more annoying.

3:25pm: Carl Edwards Jr, whose name on the scoreboard was a big part of the earlier home run drama, is now your pitcher for the Cubs. Mills still owns the baserunners obviously.

3:27pm: Another wild pitch, this one moves the baserunners to second and third. This kills any chance of a strikeout followed by a double play. Not good.

3:28pm: Indeed a Munoz hit scores two runs. Bad play there, should have stuck with Mills to my armchair quarterback eye. Score is now 8-4 Chicago Cubs. Brewers are winning 4-0 so Cubs need to keep pace.

3:30pm: A classic double play by the Cubs there hopefully stalls any offensive push by the Cardinals.

3:34pm: It's embarrassing to say this but I just realized the Brewers-Tigers game is interleague. That's weird as the final series of the season, isn't it? Oh, and Carl Edwards Jr. is done for the day as well. Looks like Maddon had very very little faith in him.

3:36pm: Carpenter is back up to the plate. Cubs need to shut this guy down.

3:37pm:
Rosario really tried to sell that pitch as a strike in his "inning is over isn't it" strut. Nice try, but you aren't winning an Oscar for that performance (also: the Oscar winner will be a shitty actor who speaks out against God-Emperor Donald Trump).

3:39pm: That pitch is more legit, and Carpenter is out. 8-4 Cubs going into the bottom of the sixth inning.

3:45pm: Baez is looking better in the back half of this game with a 2-out double.

3:46pm: It's only 4:45pm local time in Chicago, why does it look so dark?

3:47pm:
Milwaukee now leading 8-0. Cubs fans seem awfully nervous and quiet with a 4-run lead in the sixth inning, don't they? I don't blame them.

3:50pm:
Dakota Fanning Hudson is on the mound for St. Louis. The Cubs should score 30 runs against this guy, Kris Bryant being the first candidate.

3:52pm: Carpenter with a bad throw to first, Hudson couldn't do anything with it and Bryant is safe on first. Oh, yeah, and Baez runs home on the play. 9-4 Cubs.

3:54pm: Heyward is overdue for an offensive output. A 2-1 count with 2 outs and runners on the corners should help with that.

3:55pm: Heyward draws a walk to load the bases. Has Almora Jr. ever hit a grand slam? With only 5HR on the season I'm guessing no.

3:56pm: Almora's broken bat hit is badly fielded by Wisdom and a run scores and the bases remain loaded. 10-4 Cubs.

3:57pm: Sixth inning comes to a close but the Cubs extend the lead to six runs again. 10-4 Cubs.

4:04pm:
Martinez with a hit to the wall but only a single. Good old Wrigley. I think Telus Field is bigger.

4:06pm: Surprisingly this is only my second beer of the game: it's a "Honey Cream Ale" called "Switch Point" from Siding 14 in Ponoka. It's not bad.

4:07pm: DeJong is the first out of the 7th inning. Double play is now an option.

4:09pm: O'Neill hits a single, so runners on first and second. That double play is still an option, guys. Hint hint hint...

4:12pm: With Milwaukee running away with their game (10-0, top of the 8th) this six run game looks scary. Fortunately Kintzer strikes out Wisdom to make it a little less scary.

4:13pm: See? Still scary though. Baez's throw isn't fast enough and Bader loads the bases with two outs. Pitching change coming up.

4:17pm: Cishek is trying that weird side throwing nonsense. It's the 162nd game of the year, you can't afford to be cute and let a guy get up 3-1 on you.

4:19pm: Sure thing, hit the batter and let them score. No biggie, just the season on the line. 10-5 Cubs

4:21pm: STRIKEOUT! Imagine how awesome that would have been without allowing the run? The ground crew is doing the traditional "last" seventh inning stretch. Who will do it tomorrow?

4:22pm: Shouldn't baseball be adding more stretches with recent research indicating you shouldn't sit for more than an hour at a time?

4:30pm: Milwaukee won their game 11-0. If the Cubs lose this afternoon it will be the second worst loss Detroit has in September while giving the other team the pennant. Cubs go 1-2-3 in the bottom of the 7th, still 10-5 Cubs.

4:36pm:
That was a nifty little play to get Carpenter out.

4:39pm: With (hopefully) only one full inning left to go, Martinez keeps the 8th alive after a hit to second base that Baez just can't play properly.

4:45pm: Still scary! But a hit to deep right is caught by Heyward and it's now 10-5 Cubs going into the Bottom of the 8th.

4:54pm: NINTH INNING HERE WE COME. 10-5 Cubs.

4:58pm: Neat. Cubs have the first pitch of 2018 and the last pitch of 2018 (excepting tomorrow's 162nd game).

4:59pm: Wisdom strikes out and the Cubs are 6 outs away from playing a 163rd game.

5:01pm: Bader's wild swing leaves the Cubs one more out away. Everybody put your caps on inside out!

5:03pm: Munoz walks, so there's a runner on first with two outs.

5:04pm: Munoz at second, Pena fouls so it's now a 1-2 count with 2 outs.

5:05pm:
Is Bill Murray in the crowd? I think I saw that guy from whatever show that was, he badmouthed Edmonton on Jimmy Kimmel.

5:06pm: It's now a full count. Two outs. Runner on second. Cubs nursing a 5-run lead...

5:07pm: Pena pops out and it's a 10-5 Cubs win. We're going to Game 163!


5:10pm: So the Cubs went into this game with big questions about their offense. I think those questions are still mostly valid, but at least a taste of what this team can do. It's also useful that the Cubs went through 9 pitchers today but none really had a long outing, and the heart of the bullpen is rested. Obviously I won't be liveblogging tomorrow's game since that whole "Monday at 11am means I'm at work" thing will interfere, but hopefully in 24 hours the Cubs have another NL pennant under their belts.

5:18pm: That actor is Brian Posehn by the way and there's no indication he's a Cubs fan. Here he is on Conan talking about Edmonton and how he destroyed a toilet here at his Yuk Yuks show. This reminds me again that I still haven't told my Andy Dick story. Regardless, I'm calling this a night for now. The Cubs win, the season is extended, and at least today is a slightly better sports day than yesterday was. Around the league by the way the Yankees did crack 100 wins but stalled out there as Boston beat them again tonight. The Red Sox are the AL Champs, Cleveland Indians scalped the shit out of the competition and easily won their division, with Houston and Atlanta your other two division leaders. Both the Rockies/Dodgers and Brewers/Cubs games still have to be played before we can call this a season.

2018-09-29

Copenhagen (not the chew)

Finally an update has been posted about last night's story of Copenhagen being completely shut down for a manhunt that's meant to sound like part of an attempted murder plot.

The terrorism angle has been really patted down (Boston airport on September 11th style) with this update just posted by TheLocal, a Swedish newspaper.

But other than that, all the news on this issue seems to be still from last night.

So if the Muslims who stole a car in a Sweden are unrelated to the Muslims who caused the Copenhagen manhunt, do we have two cases of simultaneous terrorism? One? Zero?

Probably not that last one.

2018-09-22

The poofters who haven't died for their sins are walking for them.

I thought that the faggot parade was in June.

(yes that's right, the joke that works not once but twice a year!)

2018-08-08

Let the Eastern Bastards Freeze Drown in the Dark

Soaking rain and strong winds in southern Ontario Thursday caused power outages in the Greater Toronto Area and forced officials to close roads due to flooding.

2018-08-03

CBC #FakeNews lies about Trump travel boycott

Maybe I missed it, but where are the CBC archived articles about conservative Canadians boycotting the United States during eight years of President Monkey?

2018-08-02

Fake Syrian Refugees (slowly) setting themselves on fire

Sheila Gunn Reid at Rebel Media has uncovered the damages that has been caused by fake "Syrian" "refugees" at the hotels that the CBC was concerned was too hard on the little terrorists.



One thing keeps leaping out at me from the maddening coverage of how these uncivilized pond scum treat the quality establishments they have been permitted to live in (for free): how they are always smoking.

They smoke in big groups outside and disrupt other guests. They smoke in the rooms and common areas inside the hotel. They aggressively blow smoke in the (often female) hotel employees who ask them to stop. They smoke, they smoke, they smoke.

Where. The. Sam Fuck. Are. They. Getting. Cigarettes. From?

For one thing, they are all living off the avails of prostitutes Virginia Johnson and Kate Bate the generous Canadian taxpayer. Why are we paying for them to smoke? Besides the fact that the Canadian government is currently spending small fortunes to try and discourage people from smoking and here we are importing mass quantities of useless human garbage who also are smokers, clearly these people are not playing nice with their cigarettes or following numerous laws regarding their use.

If we can't send them across the Atlantic on a leaky boat, can't we at least stop paying for their cigs? At the very least, it will save us twice: both the darts we're feeding them and an element of the hotel destruction we're on the hook for.

2018-07-01

Dominion Day on the Far Right Coast

Hi July Talk!

I'm from Alberta. I came here legally and anybody who didn't deserves a bullet to the head.

I believe in convicting people for the sin of sodomy and that the punishment should be a public hanging in the town square.

Thanks for welcoming me to your show!

2018-06-25

Liberal Staffers are considering suicide. We should help them. With razorblade donations.

By now you've heard the story about the pathetic assistant to a Liberal MP who is so incompetent and incapable of being a man that he has twice tried to commit suicide but can't even succeed at that. And now this pathetic little faggot is daring to lecture Canadians on "not doing enough".

Let's be clear:  Paul Wernick is a sad pathetic excuse for a man. He always has been. Without somebody willing to tell him to stop whining and abandon his illegitimate sexual perversions he never will be. Like all homos (and many Liberal staffers) he has severe mental retardation. His brain is broken. And only he can fix it.

Don't believe me? Take a look at this pillow-biters hilariously obtuse 2014 article about fraternity life.
My childhood dog and playmate passed away. I decided to go to a Greek Hockey League game and as I saw one brother approach me, I was expecting to receive a firm handshake and a quick conversation to forget my troubles.

Instead I was called a homophobic slur for the hat I was wearing. I tried to laugh and pretend it was a joke but as I tried to create a conversation, the brother walked off.

I have always been one to accept challenges but I was not ready to meekly accept insults somehow deemed to test pledges. I brought the story to higher leadership within the chapter.  I was told that this particular brother once had effeminate qualities with the implication that he had now grown out of it. Somehow this was supposed to help me understand what had happened to me.

What happened, Paul you pathetic uranist, was that you lost your dog. Yeah it happens. Being a dog owner is going to inevitably come with dog loss (unless, say, you jump off a bridge before that happens hint hint). You deal with this loss by DEALING WITH THE LOSS. Begging somebody else, who doesn't really actually know you mind you, to amortize your loss so that your monthly payments are smaller is a coping mechanism and not a particularly good one.

Good on your fraternity's "higher leadership" to call you out on this. You're being a pathetic sodomite. Expecting another guy who has wisely rejected this sick and evil lifestyle to feed into your toxic downward spiral (and eventually shove a dog bone up your ass) is foolhardy. Had you learned this lesson rather than wrote a butthurt article about it, maybe today we would be free of drivel from you about how "working 60 hour weeks" for a political power that you want to implement your evil sodomite policies needs to change just because you can't cope with issues without trying to swallow rat poison.

(As an aside Paul, you can't get good rat poison in Canada anymore. You will just have to guzzle bleach. Lots of it. It's at Walmart)

Wernick said he didn't know about the EFAP option until after his first suicide attempt, when a longtime staffer told him about it, and that he'd like to see people from the Prime Minister's Office and minister's offices talk to new staff about the importance of taking care of themselves.

No. Absolutely no. I'm 100% against this.

IF YOU ARE A LIBERAL STAFFER YOU ALREADY KNOW EXACTLY HOW TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. YOU NEED NO HELP.

After all, I've seen your people's ideas on how to take care of the country and how you plan on taking care of citizens under your evil PM's yoke. They are horrible and destructive. So if that's your level of thinking, I want you to apply to to yourself.

Continue until you're as dead as Paul Wernick keeps trying to be but can't because he's a pathetic piece of trash.