This day in (blog) history

Eleven years ago Tim Horton's came to New York City. Having seen Tim Hortons in NYC, it's...unimpressive. The lineup at MSG after a hockey game are all people in Leafs sweaters though.

Anyways, the joke I made was it was the 27,922,361st to do in New York City and #27,922,362 was "TBA"...

Who knew it would be 15000 people get together for a rally for niggers who think they are chicks (who probably total under 15 people in the entire state).


What, Me μεριμνάω?

When you do a Bing search for any Greek God in the pantheon, you'll see a listing of them all and notice one of them isn't quite like the others...

Strangely though when you do a Bing image search for Perseus that Alfred E. Neuman photo doesn't come up, so I'm unsure what the thumbnail is "tied" to. Alfred E. Neuman's Wikipedia page makes no reference to the Greek God, and vice versa.

Related (and speaking of tied): In 2009 Google Images had its own bizarre search result...


Free expression for me, but not for thee

Cisco Systems fires employees for disagreeing with #NiggerLivesMoreImportantThanSocietyMotherfucker during an "open" forum.

The "incident" at Cisco (read: people expressing well reasoned opinions) has been a microcosm of similar situations at other silicon valley companies, who are left to try and figure out how to posture to the public they are concerned about racism, while at the same time not laying off their entire staff. Some believe that protests at companies could be next if employees aren't "trained" to think the right way.

Kristen Clarke, the president and executive director of the Lawyers’ Committee for Civil Rights Under Law, said: “Employers should be striving for zero tolerance when it comes to racism and discrimination, period. The protests we’ve seen in the streets have become part of our new normal and will eventually make their way inside workplaces if employers fail to meet the moment.”
Clarke is proposing the U.S. version of the Rachel Arab legislation I objected to last month.


Black fragility

How fragile are they?

You just put your knee on their neck for eight minutes and they suddenly can't breathe.

Be stronger.

Welcome to August


Almost as much hysterics as Voyager's captain

When you do a Bing search for Star Trek Voyager the preview is this word salad...

I challenge anybody to explain what half of this means.

In the 24th Century the Federation star ship USS Voyager has just been released for take-off and for a Deep-Space mission to the Badlands. The Badlands is the hideout for so-called traitors to the Federation. They call themselves the Maquis. The Maquis are mostly ex-Federation and some freelancers. Anyone who pays their barging? is their leader. Captain Kathryn Janeway is the chosen captain for this mission because of her training and experience. She requests to speak a prisoner and former Maquis helmsman called Tom Paris. (Tomas Eugene Paris) Because of Mr. Paris, his experience and knowledge of the Badlands, he is the perfect advisor to go on the Deep-Space mission. Mr. Paris is also the Son of the Commander-Admiral Paris, Head of Starfleet. Setting off for the Badlands, they find no Maquis ship what so ever. Not even a trace. Some while later, they get swept away off their 'feet' and are carried to the Delta Quadrant - 75,000 light-years from home. There they find a stating? which belongs to the Caretaker who lately takes care of an entire race called the Ocampa. A friendly-suspicious person called Neelix is hailing them and warning them to stay away from his junk. She makes a deal with Neelix and he can come on board. If it isn't for Neelix, they couldn't save the abducted Maquis and Starfleet Operations Manager Harry Kim from the Ocampa world. This world is threatened by a race called the Kazon. Through the Caretaker, they meet the Maquis and decide to become allies because the situation doesn't look promising. They eventually will get at war with the Kazon since they want to have the - already dying - Caretaker's station and destroy the Ocampa. Captain Chakotay rescues Voyager from destruction by the Kazon and destroys his ship in the process, by colliding it with the Kazon ship. They will form one single crew and rescue the missing B'Lanna Torres and Harry Kim. Kes, Neelix's girlfriend and Nelix himself will stay on board and serve the captain by becoming part of the crew. Maquis and Starfleet bond together, they set off on a 75 year journey to the Alpha Quadrant, where Earth is. Since some of the crew


The month dilemma

We're about to run into a problem.

As you know, on a lot of forms we tend to abbreviate months. It's easier to type and view, but especially in the computer era we like having narrow columns on spreadsheets. You can see in the example below that to abbreviate the months drops your space requirement by 47%:

The summer months cause a bit of a wrinkle though. May, for example, gets off easy: it's already only 3 letters long. What tends to happen is that people get larger spreadsheets with schedules that no longer show April dates by the time May turns to June. For example, many businesses have to align weekly plans which feed into monthly sales metrics. May 1st 2020 for example was the Friday of Week 18, so even though four of the five business days of that week fall within April, it counts as a May sales week (as seen below).

Now as your business is tracking your daily output compared to your weekly plan, you also want to know which sales month it falls in (which as we've established may not be the same month as the day you're looking at). Businesses might want to keep track of this daily data. That means a spreadsheet will be showing 25 lines of "May" workdays before switching to "Jun".

Meanwhile a managerial summary may only track the previous 14 days which means April ("Apr") will be long forgotten. June instead of Jun is only one extra letter and doesn't really add the space that "breaks" the sheet, as ends up happening in the example seen on the right. June eventually turns to July, and you can suddenly forget that you're supposed to be abbreviating all these months. That mistake works all fine and good, it doesn't really impact anything.

Yep, everything looking fine.

No problems at all.

We're going great.

Until now.

We're coming to the end of July, which is followed by August. Now things are getting weird. Do I go back and change all the July to Jul and June to Jun? Do I sneak extra width in and then make August the full month name? It really falls apart when it's September and I'm back to my wide columns again.

We had a sweet ride for the last three spreadsheet-entering months. But the rocky waters are ahead.


The Seinfeld Reunion


"I'm trying to create a Traditional Theory of Critical Theory"

The head writers of the Babylon Bee interview Woke Encyclopedia author James Lindsay. It's really worth your time and attention.


A fact check for @bacciogelato

No, Kim, you believed the lie.

Whites saved Red Indian children from their shitty savage parents and educated them in a way their inferior stone-aged culture never could. In fact, that education was exactly what their elders demanded via the treaties.

The 'beatings' were merely corporal punishment, which was the same standards whites used when sending their own children to boarding school. You're a retard Kim. Educate yourself.


Remembering Kelly (twice)

Hey, did you ever hear of Kelly Kelly?

No, not the wrestling character played by Barbara Blank: I'm talking the 7 episode TV show starring Shelley Long. I was a big Shelley Long fan (I typically give up on Cheers rewatches about the time Coach dies, the only Rebecca storylines I like are the Robin Colcord ones because Roger Rees is just awesome), and she even made Money Pit watchable (Hanks was pretty terrible in it).

I never heard of this show until I just happened to see a promo on an old VHS tape. It starred Robert Hays (Striker from Airplane!) as a fireman who married Shelley Long's character Kelly, but his last name is Kelly and therefore you just figured out the name of the title. The only other notable about the cast is that a grown up Chrissy Seaver (Ashley Johnson, who oddly enough was later in two episodes of another sitcom that had the word "Kelly" in the name) played the obligatory hot daughter. Babylon 5's Claudia Christian was in an episode too.

It sounds like the Sound of Music inspired promo ad was the most creative part of the entire show. It's ranked #104 in IMdB's "cancelled catastrophes" list (the aforementioned Married to the Kellys is ranked #101 oddly enough). That sandwiches it in between Deadline starring Oliver Platt, and Brother's Keeper starring absolutely nobody you've ever heard of.

So at least they can say they're considered better than Father of the Pride (the animated show about Siegfried and Roy's soon-to-be-vicious white tigers), Fat Guy Stuck in Internet (a lame Tron ripoff where a computer hacker gets sucked into the internet and an evil CEO tries to get him killed in cyberspace), and two horrible Andy Richter sitcoms (Andy Barker, P.I. and Quintuplets).

Strangely enough, ranked at #32 (so worse than Kelly Kelly is Heartland, the sappy Alberta-based drama which definitely was not cancelled: it has over 200 episodes and has run longer than The Beachcombers or Street Legal.