144th Running of the Kentucky Derby

At about 4:46pm this afternoon Edmonton time, the 2018 Kentucky Derby will be run. As always, Third Edge of the Sword is happy to participate with mint juleps, funky hats, and making fun of that faggot NBC Sports puts on their Derby pre-show.

This year will feature a couple minor differences from previous years, a couple surprises including actual betting on the event. Can the current favourite Justify be the first horse since the Chester Arthur administration to win the Derby after skipping out on racing last year? Will a Middle Eastern horse finally win it all this year? Can an Albertan die from over-consumption of mint juleps?

With race time looming, here's my unofficial picks for the fastest two minutes in sports other than that time an NFL negro was caught stealing phone chargers from hotel lobbies:

Win: Magnum Moon
Place: Justify
Show: Bolt d'Oro
4-3-2-1: Audible



Partisan committee acted partisanly...

On an unrelated note, as Mike Pompeo is sworn in as Secretary of State I find myself thinking about all the Trump appointments that still haven't been ratified. At first the left denied there was anything of the sort that the the procedural delays were normal, now they openly brag about how awesome they are for this unprecedented maneuver. If these choices were really as bad as they said and be so unsuccessful wouldn't they want these people in place in order to cause the Trump Administration to create chaos with their policies and lead to big gains in November? Isn't the fact that so many picks have been stalled an indication that they would do a bangup job?


We found the woman who wants millions more Minassians running around

During my research for Wednesday's post about Shiny Pony's sudden lack of interest in root causes I came across a National Post Letter's Page that discussed his comments along with other matters.

Here's Big Smoke's own James Morton on "root causes" (Vox's Zack Beauchamp please take note...):

Justin Trudeau was not wrong in suggesting that we look at the motives behind terrorist acts such as the bombing of the Boston Marathon. Where he went off the tracks was when he emphasized the importance of taking into account the “root causes” of such acts and that failure to do so risked “marginalizing even further those who are already feeling like enemies of society.” The implication of such statements is that society should take some responsibility for this marginalization.

One wonders if somebody could get around to asking Rev. Canon Dr. D.V. MacDonald if he thinks "penetrating questions" about how men are supposed to deal with the massive rates of rejection by women need to be asked...
Listen (read) closely and you will realize that Mr. Trudeau has no time for terrorism, and of course he defends the rigorous pursuit of misguided terrorists, but it is not mutually exclusive to ask some of the more penetrating questions as to “root causes” as you so glibly define it.

And since the Canadian left-wing extremists are declaring war on Barbara Kay these days, it seems only fitting to wonder if Caroline Lemieux is causing men to mow down innocents on the streets of Toronto, and whether she can acknowledge that she's more the "root cause" of what happened on Monday than George W. Bush (pbuh) is responsible for ISIS or the Muslim Brotherhood.
Maybe if we loosened up about how the sexual urges of teenagers are immoral, there would be less of a drive for them to loosen up with alcohol and drugs and get hurt much more deeply in the process.
So you want teenage girls to decide to sleep with men more easily...but also more sober and therefore be even more picky.

The blood of a dozen people are on your hands now, Caroline.


Shiny Pony has lost his interest in "root causes"

Over in Toronto, unlike "lone wolf" cases like the Parliament Hill shooter or the Edmonton U-Haul drive-overs, this case of a single crazy guy killing people [despite, what nobody seems to have commented on, strict and getting-stricter gun control... -ed is clearly a wide-ranging conspiracy that is part of an even wider-ranging cultural problem.

Toronto faggot Arshy Mann has the details:
incel refers to involuntary celibate essentailly meaning that a person cant get laid because of their looks personality the incels make up one segment of the broader manosphere a collection of online masculinist communities that interplay with one another incel was a term actually coined by a queer Toronto woman in the 90s to give a name to how she was feeling at the time it morphed into something horrific i cant uninvent this word nor restrict it to the nicer people who need it

Please note as a quick aside that when it came to violent terrorism that NDP Leader Jasmeet this same poofter was all about the nuanced and detailed analysis of both sides:

These types of stories are rarely told in the Canadian press when the issues of the Punjab conflict or Khalistan are being debated. But NDP leader Jagmeet Singh has acknowledged that suffering in a way that makes many Canadian Sikhs feel heard. “Sadly, the pain and trauma of violence cannot be left behind in the country of origin,” Singh wrote in a Globe and Mail op-ed. “It was brought with them to Canada, as it affected the victims to their core.”

While it's tempting to pick on Mann, a hilariously named limp-wristed pansy who spends his time attacking Barabara Kay for daring to believe that men have human rights that should be recognized by society and governmental bodies, Rat Bastard 2.0's government has been ridiculously hypocritical that a single pillow biter who writes for XTra can only dream of achieving. The fact that a Toronto bulldyke coined the term that will be used to destroy her sad groups is a "fake news" level of boomerang branding, but otherwise not that exciting.

On one hand Shiny Pony wants G7 nations to respect the "woman's right to choose" (to murder innocents) at the same time he wouldn't dare suggest that Alek Minassian was exercising his "right to choose". That's a small level of irony.

But the bigger level has to come from the wake of the Boston Marathon bombing (which started the your town here-strong trend that irrationally combines tragic accidents like Humboldt with deliberate attacks like Toronto), and the infamous Shiny Pony quotes about terrorism...
Now, we don’t know now if it was terrorism or a single crazy or a domestic issue or a foreign issue,” he said. “But there is no question that this happened because there is someone who feels completely excluded. Completely at war with innocents. At war with a society. And our approach has to be, where do those tensions come from?

“Yes, there’s a need for security and response,” Trudeau added. “But we also need to make sure that as we go forward, that we don’t emphasize a culture of fear and mistrust. Because that ends up marginalizing even further those who already are feeling like they are enemies of society.”
So is the Shiny Pony going to put his money where his mouth is? (literally)

The Canadian government runs something called the Canada Centre for Community Engagement and Prevention of Violence primarily to bribe people (mainly those who come from countries where sex with goats is a valid solution to the "incel" problem) so that they don't blow shit up. Will that agency start providing services for Men's Rights Associations across the country?

Will the media cheerleaders like Andrew Coyne who trumpted his "root causes" talk as the wisdom Gotham City Needs If Not Deserves now similarly hold feet to the fire of beta losers like Arshy Mann or Justin Trudeau if they "emphasize a culture of fear and mistrust" against Men's Rights organizations? Where do these tensions come from?

We already know, of course, where these tensions come from. Women are much more restrictive in their choice of partners than men are, particularly in the early adult formative years. This giant gulf in the sexual dynamic between the sexes uses to be balanced out by the twin forces of religion (which mandates that sexual and romantic dynamics go hand in hand, which evened the odds a little) and the similarly imbalanced economic dynamic between the sexes. Women wanted good money and that could be found with a successful guy who didn't look like Hugh Jackman (though economics does play a role in that, too).

But now women can make good money. In fact, in Canada the same Trudeau government that isn't looking into the root causes of the Toronto attacker (who, unlike Muslim terrorists, is still only one guy on the entire planet) is similarly taking more and more action against companies that even legitimately pay men more than women for the same job. But they aren't doing the same thing with sex. When a man and a woman both interview to be a floor sweeper at Walmart it's illegal to offer him $18/hr and her $17.50. But when both that man and woman walk into a bar and she can pick up 95% of the guys in there and he's lucky to pick up 2% of the drunk girls at last call whose friends thought they already left and took a cab home, no government action is taken.

So the double standard is really what's sickening. A few dozen Muslims a year can commit terrorist acts across the West and we can't look into any pattern: one guy in Toronto does the same thing that one guy in Edmonton does, and suddenly "incel" is a thing that we need to Voxsplain and combat.

Charitably we can call it east-coast bias. Realistically we know what it is: Arshy Mann isn't the only one with a critical male aspect he isn't using correctly.



Yesterday, for the second time in a month, an immigrant who should never have been in the same country as a Canadian steering wheel killed a double-digit number of (mostly white) people.


Don't even get me started on how iPhones only Bluetooth with other iPhones

Business Insider tackles why it's so hard to replace a battery on your iPhone:

It's in Apple's best interest to make sure customers are upgrading to new $700 iPhones instead of extending the life of their current devices with a new $29 battery. About 2/3 of Apple's revenue comes from iPhone sales and Wall Street judges the company on how many iPhones it sells each quarter. On top of this, Apple has been giving customers fewer reasons to upgrade the iPhone each year. New iPhone models have looked the same pretty much since 2014 and the iPhone 8 doesn't have a lot in there to convince people to upgrade from the iPhone 7. And the iPhone X's $1000 price tag has turned a lot of people off from upgrading.
All fine and good, non? It's probably not news to anybody that the Laffer Curve Moore's Law has basically ended and a phone made in 2016 isn't that much better than a phone made in 2018. Other than wear and tear on the device (as you routinely bump your phone around and/or drop it you can cause microfractures and miniscule short circuits which can add up over time), the only need to replace your iPhone is if the battery caves in on you. No real news here.

But then the article by two imbeciles named Kevin Reilly and Steve Kovach goes off the deep end. Like, off the deep end if there was no water in the pool and they damaged their brains:
Even though this process sounds annoying, it's actually better than a lot of Apple's competitors. Samsung, HTC, Motorola, and several other companies have said they don't intentionally slow down their devices to preserve battery life but they also don't make it easy to replace it. It's not like there's a Samsung store you can walk into and get your battery replaced. You have to mail it in.

No, there isn't a "Samsung store" you can just walk into and have them manually replace your cellphone battery. But do you know what Samsung, LG, Motorola, and basically every cellphone manufacturer other than Apple do have? That's right, removable batteries!

Honestly, are people really that clueless? You can pick up the battery while you're picking up the weeks' groceries for crying out loud!


In Soviet San Francisco, Uber Eats YOU

On Sunday night/Monday morning in Arizona, a self-driving car being tested by Uber was involved in a fatal crash in which a 49-year old woman was struck while walking across the street.

There will be tons of thinkpieces and speculatory pieces and blame-assigning pieces coming out about these over the next 168 hours or so, so pace yourself. That includes you, Chief Moir...

Police have viewed footage from two of the vehicle’s cameras, one facing forward toward the street, and the other inside the car facing the driver. Based on the footage, Moir said that the driver had little time to react. “The driver said it was like a flash, the person walked out in front of them,” she said. “His first alert to the collision was the sound of the collision.”

She added, “It’s very clear it would have been difficult to avoid this collision in any kind of mode [autonomous or human-driven] based on how she came from the shadows right into the roadway.”

Safe streets advocates were quick to denounce Moir’s comments as tone deaf, inappropriate, and possibly misinformed. The Tempe Police Department has since walked some of it back, issuing a statement that reads, “Tempe Police Department does not determine fault in vehicular collisions.”
Now what we can do, however, is note some of the curious aspects of the story. Let's start with what the Tempe PD said just now...they do not determine fault in vehicle collisions. Well who does?
Since Arizona is not a no-fault state, car accident forensics often determine who caused an accident and therefore whose insurance company will pay for damages.
Oh. Well then. But then why is the National Transportation Safety Board investigating? Is this a special squad sent out to protect (or crucify?) companies with driverless cars?

Finally, this bit of #FakeNews by the far-left Globe and Mail accidentally reveals what is probably the biggest part of this story...that nobody after the fact could decide what the speed limit on that road was.
The Arizona collision happened on a road with seven driving lanes and two bicycle lanes. The speed limit there is 35 miles an hour, the equivalent of 55 kilometres an hour.
Sorry Oliver Moore, lying reporter but check out some of the other coverage. Here's the Verve article linked at the top of this post:
The vehicle was traveling 38 mph, though it is unclear whether that was above or below the speed limit. (Police said the speed limit was 35 mph, but a Google Street View shot of the roadway taken last July shows a speed limit of 45 mph along that stretch of road.) The driver, 44-year-old Rafaela Vasquez, has given a statement to police.
Now it's possible that the road has changed the speed limit. That's been known to happen, as many a person has been charged with speeding for following the speed limit indication on a navigation device or app.

But here's where all the media seem to have missed the point. It's probable that this dumb hippie cyclist jumped out in front of the automated car inappropriately: their kind do that a lot, you get numb to it. Meanwhile the difference in reality between 35 and 45 is going to be pretty much negligible, as readers of this space are well aware I'm an advocate of driving double the speed limit all the time. But if news agencies after the fact can't agree on a road's speed limit, what chance to driverless cars have? And if you abhore speeding how do you account for the possibility of it happening ignorantly en masse (without the human factor of knowing when your abilities are better than your current speed allows?) More vitally, why don't these pricks get charged with speeding like the innocent guy who followed his TomTom (no chuckles please), or even just went on what he remembered or assumed the speed limit to be?


Happy Saint Patrick's Day 2018

Happy St. Patrick's Day, everyone. Your humble blogger is currently in an exciting and undisclosed location celebrating this holiest of occasions by embracing two modern traditions that would be totally alien to both St. Patrick and a devotee of his a mere century ago.

The first is drinking. March 17th falls smack dab in the middle of Lent, and Saint Patrick certainly never touched a drop of liquor on this day during his entire life (he did drink whiskey, if Pota Phadraig is to be believed, but wouldn't have drank it during Lent). On the more modern side of the house, Ireland was legally mandated to be dry on St. Patrick's Day until after the Beatles were broken up. But I will drink, even drink green beer, not to mention a shitload of Guinness.

The second tradition is wearing orange in addition to (or even instead of) green. As astute readers of this blog may have noticed, I'm not Catholic. On top of that, not only do I support keeping Northern Ireland as part of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, but I think the Republic of Ireland was a mistake in the first place and the UK should have been the totality of both isles. As a result, it's only fitting that I support the orange third of the Irish flag. (I'll probably drink a Black and Tan as well, just to be cheeky). As Pulpit and Pen puts it (profoundly):

First, Patrick wasn’t Irish. Patrick was born in Dumbarton, Scotland, where he was raised to the age of 16. Secondly, Patrick wasn’t Catholic. Patrick’s father was a deacon and his grandfather a pastor in the very early Christian Church of Britain, which had no affiliation whatsoever to the Bishop of Rome.
Put plainly, any attempt to Catholicize Patrick by the church of Rome is pure fiction, made up by the Harlot Beast herself.

In Ireland, Roman Catholics wear green. But Protestants, however, wear Orange (in honor of William of Orange, the great Protestant king). So when you go to that St. Paddy’s day celebration, wear orange and explain to people why; it’s a good opportunity to share the Gospel.

Now all this talk about green and orange and Ireland and beer and whiskey makes me think, naturally, of Corb Lund's first hit "It's Time to Switch to Whiskey (We've Been Drinking Beer All Night).

In the song, he covers a little bit of Irish whiskey drinking. When I was in Ireland a few years back I made sure to start up a round of this song at the bar: there were enough other Albertans around that we could make a solid go at singing it. The key lyrics are:
Well I've heard it said that you can get some heat in Irish pubs
Servin' Jamesons to an Orangeman and Bushmills to his cuz
Well here's what you do with Tullamore Dew, you can meet 'em both halfway
It's time to switch to whiskey they've been drinkin' beer all day
For those of you unfamiliar, Bushmills is distilled in Northern Ireland where the Orangemen are, and Dublin is certainly not a friendly place for Irish Loyalists!

Regular readers may note that I am spelling "whisky" the wrong way in this post. For St. Patrick's Day, especially this one, it's only fitting to spell it "wrong".

However, this lyric bothered me more than a little bit. Having explored Ireland I learned that the song is ridiculously inaccurate...it may explain some of the weird looks they were giving me at that tavern in Dublin (not far, of course, from the Jameson Distillery). A few days later I visited (as you might) the Tullamore D.E.W. Visitor Centre, a leisurely half day drive almost due west of Dublin. The key note here is that Tullamore is smack dab in the middle of The Republic of Ireland (almost literally) but is no closer to the 13 provinces of Northern Ireland than the republican capital is. Both in a geographical sense as you can see in the map below) but also culturally.

The worst thing is that the Tullamore Dew distillery seen in the photo is a historic building dating back to...2014. The original Tullamore Dew ran from 1829 until 1954, after which production moved to County Cork in the far southest of the country and about as far from Northern Ireland as you can be without drowning. While founded by Michael Molloy, the real father of the distillery was one Daniel E. Williams. Williams was born in the Quaker (ie. Protestant) down of Mountmellick but he himself was Catholic. So we have a Catholic "greenie" making a whiskey with a green label that for the last 50 years was produced in the heart of the greenest part of Ireland...and that's "halfway"?

In fairness, Jameson was founded in Dublin but is no longer distilled there...it is instead distilled...in Cork...next door to where Tullamore Dew was made from 1954-2013. So in fairness new Tullamore is closer to halfway to Bushmills compared to the new Jameson distillery, but that only works if you listen to the song now (Corb Lund released it in 2002).

The song is badly written
"x=0, the song is badly written"


Catsmeat Kinsella is not the Ur-example

Somebody nailed the Shiny Pony with the National Lampoon tag a couple weeks back.

Of course, Rat Bastard 2.0 is way dumber than Clark Griswold. Hell he's dumber than Cousin Eddie.


The CBC only publishes racial slurs against the race who overwhelmingly funds them

Today Small Dead Animals posted a story about Red Indians doing the shit that Red Indians so often do: try to bilk productive white people out of the spoils of their labours.

The main thrust of the CBC story by "investigative reporter" Geoff Leo is regarding Red Indians jacking up the leasing fees (before the lease expiration) in order to either generate more revenue or drive the renters away and leave behind their infrastructure improvements. It's a really really shitty story, but that's not what I'm here to talk about.

As an en passant in the story it talks about how the Indian Reservation at Crooked Lake (no, srsly!) recently had an election fight over who would be Big Chief No Fart. The winner was a disgusting piece of shit named Lynn Acoose who was behind this dickhead move. She beat a much more moderate candidate named...oh, wait, sorry, I'm being told over my earbud that in fact she was the moderate candidate. She beat an even more batshit insane Red Indian named Lyle Acoose.

This was apparently an election issue, and Lyle Acoose had something to say about it.

One of her competitors, Lyle Acoose, argued the leases should be ended outright.

He raised concerns about the fact the cottages are mostly occupied by "moonias," a Plains Cree term for white people.

"We had a settlement down there; now it's all moonias down there," Lyle Acoose said in an August 2017 election speech in Regina.
McScuze me? So this candidate was letting loose with racial slurs on the campaign trail and it's just a bit of local colour to deal with the outraged tenant issue as far as the CBC is concerned. At no point was "racial slur" or "racist comment" used in this story. You may notice that "moonias" is often repeated in the CBC story.

So let's look at a different recent CBC story involving racial slurs: a high school bball coach in Dartmouth (ie. Halifax) got called a nigger. Or, in this case, as the CBC calls it...
Lance Sparks, who is African-Nova Scotian, was dropping off supplies at the school Thursday night when a parent pointed out the slur, n----r, on the hood of his car in what appeared to be purple marker or lipstick.
So when the racial slur is against a black guy [or at least a one quarter black guy to look at him... -ed] the CBC will edit the word out of their story and even censor it in the picture. However, when the racial slur is against whites who have dared to make a Red Indian community better, CBC prints it multiple times.

The author who published the racial slurs on the CBC website can be reached at geoff.leo@cbc.ca

You can also file a complaint against Geoff Leo with the CBC Ombudsman at http://www.ombudsman.cbc.radio-canada.ca/en/contact-us/.

. You might notice that the two choices were apparently Lynn Acoose and Lyle Acoose. For all the fears about George W. Bush's brother and William Jefferson Clinton's fake wife being the two choices Americans could have faced in 2016, that doesn't compare to which flavour of incompetent Acoose the Crooked Lake Indian Reserve apparently gets to chooce from. Regular readers of this site may recall that previously we uncovered another Red Indian family that was defrauding white taxpayers as some sort of grim family bonding exercise. At least the Twin Acooses here are just thieves, while the Mitsuing clan in Loon Lake made it rich while little boys burned to death due to their corruption.