2006-02-24

How do you define comeback???

How about 20-11 final score for the Yankees versus the Devil Rays? Wow. That was quite the game to randomly choose. I picked a mid-month game, and I hadn't watched much in June, so the June 21st date just came to me. I know that NYY-Tampa games last year were a source of much agonizing for Yankee fans, and figured I should watch the game. Holy crap.

It was 7-1 by the time Big Unit stepped off the mound. 10-2 after 4 innings. The Yankees came back to make it 10-7, but the D-Rays hit another run in. But then the bottom of the 8th inning was underway:

The game's box score tells it all:
- R. Sierra grounded out to second, R. Cano scored, D. Jeter to second
- A. Rodriguez singled to left, D. Jeter scored, G. Sheffield to second
- H. Matsui doubled to deep right, G. Sheffield scored, A. Rodriguez to third
- B. Williams tripled to deep center, A. Rodriguez, H. Matsui and R. Johnson scored
- J. Posada homered to deep right, B. Williams scored
- G. Sheffield homered to deep left, D. Jeter and R. Sierra scored
- A. Rodriguez homered to deep right
- H. Matsui homered to deep center

This would be an impressive game. It's all in the bottom of the 8th inning. Nunez and Harper got positively lit up. All in all, an amazing offensive result...especially with Randy Johnson starting against a Hall-of-Famer.


Now onto the next game: Sticking to the success of choosing the 21st, I'm going to the May 21 game from Toronto where the Washington Nationals (nee Montreal Expositions) play the Hogtown Blue Jays.

Another great blog bites the dust

Monte Solberg is apparently retiring his blog. Monte was famous for some of his blog postings, his writing style was casual yet often extremely poetic. He could switch tones on a dime, which is a rare and highly valuable skill for a blogger (and, perhaps, a politician). But as of two-and-a-half weeks ago, his blog has shut down and may sit rather dormant. Of course, a resurgance is entirely possible.

I would like to be the first person to graciously offer to take up Monte's traffic in his absence, as I believe it to be quite large. I hope its okay man. I do have your autograph somewhere around here, so that may give me some legitimacy.


The Third Edge of the Sword baseball pool is available on the right-hand side of your screen just below my profile. Its free to join, you can put as little or as much effort into your team as you wish, and I promise not to stop harassing you until the draft day 32 calendar days from now.

A Slashdot poster gives us the typical iBlog. Works well for any MySpace or LiveJournal blog as well, I think.

Is it the same person using different names who keeps making some inane babble about the horrors in Alberta over at this Shotgun thread? Or different people? I can't tell. "Coleen", "Mrs", and "Fed Up Too" are the three trolls who may not be operating independently. I wouldn't advise putting too much effort into looking, but it would still be nice to know.

Anyways, time to see if I can fit in the end of that Tampa/Yankees game.

You are a lawyer! Full of %#&%^

Want to join my baseball pool at no additional cost to you? Just click the link on the right.

Yes, I admit it, I spent tonight watching Jennifer Aniston in Rumour Has It the "sequel" to 1967's The Graduate. If you've seen the movie, you'll understand the use of ditto marks around 'sequel'. If you haven't seen the movie, I think its best not to watch The Graduate first. I've never watched it, so I'm safe I think. Anyways, since this is my blog I'll torture you with a slight movie review. I say I watched Jennifer Aniston in Rumor Has It rather than actually watched the movie because watching Jennifer is what I did. When she walked to the bathroom in the airplane I was watching her ass. When she got in and out of her seat I was watching her legs. When she put on a shirt in the morning I was watching her side boob. When she climbed into bed with Mena Suvari (!) I watched her lower back. When she hugged Mena Suvari in bed, I ran to the bathroom. Anyways, the movie was all right, had some funny bits, a few too many sad bits, and some weird 1997 references. (Why was the movie in '97 anyways? Why not put it in 2004 or 2005 to coincide with its production and save the trouble of insuring old cars and cell phones were in each shot? Was it because the events in the movie were intended to be "real", and therefore we're seeing the right year to show the proper events? Is it just that 30 years after the movie was supposed to be an important number, when the event happened in '63 and therefore the movie is 34 years later? Is the 8 year gap between event and film doubling the 4 years the first time important?) The Time Warner-American Online Merger took place in January of 2000, over 2 1/2 years following the events in the film, yet its gossiped about at a charity event. Likewise, Google was founded in September of 1998, and perhaps wouldn't have been the big investment opportunity implied in a conversation taking place in the summer of '97.

Roger Ebert weighs in on the film here. No way that fat tub of lard is stealing Aniston away from me!

Over at Plato's Stepchild I found an old post comparing the physical similarity between overhyped Liberal toady Michael Ignatieff and a Romulan from "The Enterprise Incident" episode of Star Trek. Jack Donner is the actor, I believe, though I may have that one wrong. Explains his duplicity. [Er, doesn't his membership in the Liberal Party of Canada already explain that relatively well? -ed] Sadly I hadn't even gotten to the post and was clicking the link already thinking about the Trek episode the blog is named after.

It turns out that French people get their own hospital. No anglos allowed, as it were. In Ontario.

Speaking of Ontario, there's an Ontario separation movement unrelated to the hidden movement discussed in John Ibbitson's "Loyal No More". Turns out northwestern Ontario wants to be free of its southern cancerous growth. (Er, Thunder Bay is in the northwestern part, isn't it? I sort of regard Ontario as this blob preventing Winnipeggers from having a clearer view of the Atlantic Ocean, and my geography is limited to knowing that according to the travel agencies London Ontario is farther from Edmonton than London England.)

The same guy also weighs in on Klein's "Third Way" health reforms. Not being an Albertan I suppose he is immune from some of the criticism for failing to be aware that we're heard this "the Third Way is coming" talk for ages, and it has yet to ever develop into anything actually important and/or useful. Not that this is a bad thing: it might seem odd for 'Third Edge of the Sword' opposing 'Third Way' healthcare, but in Klein's case the name is misleading. It's really "first way" healthcare (the status quo) mixed in with "second way" healthcare (some changes to how the public system's status quo operates) combined with a "third way" (some private companies are allowed to be promised entry into healthcare in such a highly regulated way that it will be the exact same as the public system, only to have their entry barred at the last second). It in no way relates to American "two-tiered healthcare", which is as I believe a set of private companies so tightly regulated to be essentially government-owned not competing against each other but merely dealing with whichever insurance company (private or government) their patient has paid money to. In short, the only way Klein is guaranteed to follow is the model of totally private healthcare under absolutely no governmental interference or regulation...that is to say, the exact system that Alberta needs, the exact system we'll never get, and the exact system that the healthcare loonies are going to claim has just been set up. Let's also keep our fingers crossed that Riccio's dream of Harper intervention won't happen just for the fun of making sure he stays pissed off for no actual reason.

"Herding cats is hard work", "Democratic blogs, all though far more community based, spend the bulk of their time debating the direction of the Party and dissecting the headlines", and other misconceptions about Liberal blogging that are going to hold them back until they get some actual intelligent ideas (and therefore stop being Liberals in the first place). That being said, my post on SDA rings true: I want more socialist (ie. Liberal) blogs out there to dissect into small easily digestable and distasteful pieces!

As someone who owns Das Boot and The Hunt for Red October on DVD, has both "Crimson Tide" and "Attack on the Queen", "The Hunt for Red October", and "Red Storm Rising" in novel form, and also somebody who watched The Hunt for Red October three times this past week, I do get a kick out of this bit comparing Canada's submarine fleet to a used car and analyzing what to do with the vessels based on that analogy.

A totally unrelated website, Edge: The Third Culture, looks at which companies "won" the Superbowl ad campaign.

British kids are hurting their thumbs because they are text messaging too much. And you thought the Brit's biggest trouble was their teeth!

Remember my posting about unoriginal movies? Well, if I didn't link to it over the "sequel" to The Graduate then I'm not linking to it over the slashdot article that the gaming industry just isn't doing the gangbusters its accustomed to doing.

The southern hemisphere has its first artificial star. And just 2 hours ago I was showing somebody a globe demonstrating what a waste the southern hemisphere is (too much water, not enough land). It is, however, a great place to do astronomy (which is what the artificial star is for) because it is oriented towards the galactic centre. So why is the southern half of the planet devoid of land? Blame Antarctica

"You are a brand. You have more net wealth than South America. Your ears are precisely the right size for your head." A-Rod is raked over the coals for some newfound reasons. His suggestion? "Tip off Page Six wags that you'll be exiting Scores at approximately 2:35 a.m. on the night before a day game. Emerge from said institution with a $20 bill dangling from your fly as the flashbulbs pop. Go 3-for-5 a few hours later and then leave the locker room without comment. Never, ever apologize."

Somewhere in Minnesota, a hardcore objectivist libertarian is in tears. What the hell did you put Ventura in charge for a few years back if you were going to turn around and fine a gas station for not charging enough for gas???

Boston Pizza eat your heart out! Actually, I shouldn't have looked at that: I'm hungry, but I've spent $35 on McDonalds over an 18 hour period yesterday, and can't afford to eat out again even if I did pass Queen Donair on Whyte Ave at 2:02am this morning.

Garfield is better when Garfields thoughts are kept private. In other news, Get Fuzzy and Foxtrot improve when you travel backwards in time!

Final bit of news for today (hey, do you know I still haven't finished that Tampa/Yankees game? It was 11-7 when I left it on Tuesday evening) is that Pedro Martinez might be a bad choice for pitcher this season and The Red Sox can't be bothered to care about Manny Ramirez possibly leaving the team with possible good reason.

Remember, if you want to be in my (free, as in beer) baseball pool, just click the link on your right.

2006-02-23

Drinking beer the Vancouver Danish way

Interested in the fantasy baseball pool? Check out the link on the right-hand side of this page.


Kevin Michael Grace, that middle-aged impoverished right-wing-ish writer, has dedicated the month of February to posting to his blog often enough to encourage donations to allow him to eat.

Yesterday's contribution was this piece on drinking Danish drinks which as a current Tuborg-drinker who has some akavit handy for the next time I make Glogg I found highly entertaining.

Baseball pool fine details:

This is a brief information post giving a highlight of the 3rd Edge of the Sword Baseball Pool:

First off a reminder that you can click here to join the league using your Yahoo ID.

League I.D.: 48452
Password: anncoulter

It's a full-season league, using both the American and National leagues as pool fodder.

Head-to-head competition format, meaning that every week you're paired with a new opposing team to do battle with, making each week an individually competitive period (especially if you're up against a team who's blogger you hate...lol). Every category you win is a win, a loss is a loss, and a tie is a tie: using this system we amass win-loss records of winning similar to how the NHL does it (Wins=1 point, Ties=1/2 point).

Up to 15 teams will be permitted to join (naturally I'm one of them). I truely hope we fill it up both to insure a competitive draft and also because if there are say 13 teams at draft time then the last signed up team will be eliminated to make an even number. Cross your fingers everyone. (Current number of teams at 4:30pm on February 23rd? Zero.)

There are no maximum number of trades, but only 30 player adds allowed. The trade deadline will be August 27th. Waivers will be in place for 3 days. Yahoo waiver rules, for those unfamiliar, starts out the reverse of the draft order. However, every time you successfully pick up a player on waivers you are bumped to the last spot again. So if the first place guy on day 1 never picks up a single player off the waiver wire, you can only advance up to 2nd place.

The Commissioner (well that's...that's me! yeah) has authority to veto trades, but I'll try to be fair with it. I'll set up a complaint-based system, where a certain number of complaints will trigger a trade reversal. We'll hope there are no Ovechkins this year, because Post-Draft players will follow waiver rules, which really hurt our hockey pool.

The teams can be adjusted daily, which should encourage people to pay close attention to their teams and notice things like park factors and opposing pitchers as opposed to playing hot streaks.

The teams will consist of:
  1. a catcher
  2. 1st baseman
  3. 2nd baseman
  4. 3rd baseman
  5. shortstop
  6. 3 outfielders (which field is irrelevent)
  7. 2 utility players
  8. 4 starting pitchers
  9. 3 relief pitchers
  10. a utility pitcher
  11. 6 bench spots
  12. 2 Disabled-List spots for the multitude of injuries to be sustained in the post-steroid era.
Stats categories shall be:
  1. Runs
  2. Hits
  3. Home Runs
  4. Runs Batted In
  5. Stolen Bases
  6. Assists (contact with the ball after it has been hit before a putout occurs)
  7. OPS (On-base percentage plus slugging percentage
  8. Wins
  9. Saves
  10. Strikeouts
  11. HLD
  12. ERA (Earned Run Average)
  13. WHIP (Walks + Hits / Innings Pitched)
  14. K/BB (Strikeouts per base-on-balls)

Scoring will commence starting Week 1 (all weeks start on Monday), and continue until September 3rd. On September 4th, head-to-head playoffs will commence. This page gives some more details.

There is a minimum number of innings (six) that each team must pitch weekly in order to receive any pitching credit for the week. This means you can't just have Mariano Rivera on your team and screw wins in favour for mucho saves/WHIP/ERA/etc.

That's about it for details on the league. Again, feel free to click here and enter the league information to sign up!



I apologize in advance for not being able to use the following stats which I would have liked to have used:

For pitchers: Saves divided by save opportunities (to encourage choosing more efficient closers rather than closers who have better job security) and Opposing Batters OPS or OBP instead of ERA (its a far more reliable stat).

For batters, a lot of changes: H/AB instead of pure hits, again to choose more efficient batters as opposed to Tampa Bay or St. Louis players who simply receive a lot of at-bats, Stolen Bases minus caught stealing divided by stolen bases plus caught stealing (a stat which allows us to determine who's actually good at base stealing versus who just has a lot of go-aheads from desperate managers), park-adjusted OPS or OBP (really make people look at those stat sheets and list of common opposing stadiums), and Linear Weights (if it wasn't a head-to-head league... LW is too long-term a stat to be using over a 6-11 game period).

2006-02-21

3rd Edge of the Sword Baseball Pool Announcement

Well, I did some checking into the fantasy baseball options from MLB.com. They all cost money. Like a lot of money. Like what the hell?

MLB.com and RotoWire.com both cost between $70 and $120 -- U.S. dollars, mind you. Meanwhile my first option, Yahoo Fantasy Baseball, is free. Go figure. So guess where the Official Third Edge of the Sword League is going to be hosted? That's right:

Visit this page to sign up for the free Third Edge of the Sword Baseball League. (Yahoo ID required)

At the prompt, type:

League ID: 48452
Password: anncoulter
And then name your team and you're in. The league draft will be held Tuesday March 28 2:30pm MST (Edmonton time).

In other news, blogger.com decided to highlight Rick Mercer's Blog since apparently an overrated CBC "celebrity" needs further endorsement beyond the $1.1 billion the national broadcaster spends in a year (and of which approximately 93% of it seems directed to shows involving Rick Mercer). What's the first thing I see on his blog? A photoshopped Gilles Duceppe making him a male ballerina. Rick Mercer gay? Whodda thunk it?

Worse yet, Rick's blog hasn't been updated since January 30th! When the hell did that warrant a notice? Of course, they highlight a bunch of crappy pictures of food with no meat in another favourite blog, so you just can't win.

The feminazis have won another one: Larry Summers is being forced out as Harvard President.

"The connection was refused when attempting to contact www.colbycosh.com." Weird.

"The St. Louis Cardinals: The Indiana Colts of Baseball. The Chicago Cubs: The Chicago Cubs of Baseball."

Sexy physics girls

My mistake, but I failed to include another hot science girl, University of Wisconsin graduate physics student Jocelyn Read who I've actually kissed, unlike some other hot physicists around.

Bonus link: Britney Spears teaches semiconductor physics (Semiconductor physics also happens to be a personal favourite of Jocelyn, as it happens).

2006-02-19

Sunday Smorgasboard

First off, apologies on holding off on the baseball pool for a couple more days, but my work schedule over the weekend turned out to be different than I thought originally, and I wasn't prepared for the night/day shift changes.

Where to start? First off we can note that Edmonton-cum-Seattle leftist windbag Stephen Notley did a Mohammed-themed cartoon on Friday. Edmonton's VUE-weekly, naturally, failed to print it. Matthew Good is impressed, I'll wager.

Colby Cosh isn't though: he's spending his weekend trashing the United Church for anti-Semitism using the church's own logic against it. Disclosure is popular these days, so I'll mention that my family used to be United Church regulars until my father pulled us out over the 1988 decision to ordain fudge-packing ministers.

Speaking of the subject, this article about a girl's use of an offensive t-shirt during school photos fails to mention whether she is or is not a carpet muncher (and/or why her Mom bought her that shirt at 15 years old).

Since we're talking about women anyways, why not observe that the new James Bond is a pussy.

Also on the subject, yesterday ED (the throwaway "artsy" rag in every Saturday Journal) had a story on a registered nurse giving $85 courses in the proper method of giving fellatio. Not meaning to complain, but its hard enough to get a wife or girlfriend to take a cooking course!

There are some good women out there. You know, all the smoking hot mathematician actresses?

Topped off with sad news, Andreas Katsulas has died.

A Javahead post on this Shotgun thread reminded readers of a wonderful World War II story: 50,000 Danes, including their King, wore the yellow stars demanded by Hitler to be worn by all Danish Jews. The account isn't true per se, but it is a wonderful story.

Austrailia's Prime Minister is taking on Arab immigration in a big way. Poor bastard.

In another shameful use of this blog to make it easier for me to watch a baseball game over 2 days, I'm starting to watch the June 21st/05 tet-a-tet between the Tampa Bay Devil Rays and the New York Yankees of Harlem. Just in time for Yankee so-so Alex Rodriguez to be slammed by World Series winning louse Ozzie Guillen.

In my absolute sole Olympic posting today, the $100-million Team Canada was embarassed by the Swiss. Ouch.

Just saw a pre-game ad for the YES Yankee-fan roadtrip. 16 cities, 162 games. Only 16 cities?? New York is one, obviously. Boston, Baltimore, Toronto, Tampa Bay, Seattle, Anaheim, Chicago, Cleveland, Detroit, Kansas City, Oakland, Minneapolis, and Arlington. That's the 14 A.L. cities. Did the Yankees only play 2 away interleague games? I would have thought it obvious that the Evil Empire should play all their interleague games in other burgs for the thrill that these teams fans would receive. Its the New York Yankees playing in Denver! (or St. Louis, Pittsburgh, Atlanta, etc) The only home games the Yankees should ever play interleague would be the Cubs (though the Yankees in Wrigley is worth an extra million viewers right there), the Dodgers, and perhaps Washington/San Fran (where their "twin cities" host the Yankees already).

Slashdot has a thread about the melting of glaciers in Greenland. The global warming devotees would be wise to recall what it means when glaciers aren't retreating: a friggin' ice age!

Likewise this thread about "politically incorrect" science fairs works better when nobody realizes which side of the political spectrum is responsible for political correctness.

Apparently the Daytona 500 is a curse for the stocks of the company who's sponsored car wins. Take that, NWT Diamond Mine investment J_____!

Wired.com takes on the illiterate spelling of teenage girls these days. Slashdot contributes a little illiteracy of their own.

Photo Radar in the City of Champions will continue in earnest despite the 6 years of bribery the Edmonton Police Service took and the false information they provided to city council. Great. Guess I'll have to continue my campaign against photo radar (keep yours eyes peeled: pictures of the photo radar vans). Also this Shaw.ca site takes on photo radar far more dedicatedly.

2006-02-18

2 days later, still on the same ballgame

Yes, I didn't get to finish the August 6th Cubs game on Thursday night, so I'm watching the last 40% of it this afternoon.

MLB.com has the interesting tale of how an 18-year-old Tom Glavine was drafted by the Atlanta Braves and the Los Angeles Kings in the same year. Glavine apparently was a more natural baseball talent, but was more polished as a hockey player. His position was as a centre, and LA would have liked him to have been their next 2nd-line centre. Instead, they waited five rounds (102 picks) to choose.... holy shit! ... Luc Robitaille! Talk about your "what would have been" scenarios. The article acknowledges that Glavine wasn't likely to duplicate Robitaille's 666 career goals, but that there was a potential to make something of himself if only he could deal with being a centre of his size. Glavine was only 180 pounds and 6 feet when he entered the draft...today Robitaille is 6'1" and 207 lbs (about the same as Shawn Horcoff), meaning Glavine either needed to bulk up to learn to be another Gretzky (in Glavine's words... a better example would have been Todd Marchant at 5'10" and 180 lbs). Neat, huh? Of course, both men were long ago over-looked in favour of 1984's most famous draft pick. Other 1984ers include Shayne Corson, Kirk Muller (the #2 pick), Brett Hull, and Gary Suter. Winnipeg chose Chris Mills just before Glavine, and the Isles picked Doug Wieck...neither of whom went onto play a single NHL game either. Neither Mike Roth (the Isles again) nor Toronto's choice of Dan Turner played either.. those were Luc's bookends. Funny how things work, eh?

Johnny Damon sure looks ugly with no facial hair.

The Mariners are going slow with Felix Hernandez, which is odd from a marketing perspective: when I attended the Mariners-KC game last year Hernandez was the most popular Mariner on staff.

Finally, Curt Schilling is optimistic about the new season. I'm not: I had him in my pool last year and he was a disappointment (except for his 9 saves). I think history will show he should have retired after the bloody sock incident. But who knows, eh?

2006-02-16

Testing, testing, 1-2-3. Is this thing on?

Blogger.com wouldn't let me make that last post... I'm testing if this one is any better.

(Here's some actual new content: Matthew Good takes issue with the Western Standard. The Shotgun blog fires back. (Hey, that sentence is cool to type!) Good's blog contains this gem: "objectivity is the basis of the fourth estate" which is odd coming from a supporter of the CBC, as well as somebody who's girl-friend Melissa auf Der Mar has already earned my wrath)

Comment here if you want to be in a baseball pool!

Turn to MLB.com when its -27 Celcius

Watching the August 6th ball game between the Chicago Cubs and the New York Mets... Jae Seo taking on Greg Maddux. Top of the 3rd right now (don't tell me how it ends!) and its 1-0 Mets with the Cubbies getting their first base hit of the game. I'm a Cubs fan at heart, even though the game I tried to attend in 2003 was rained out -- ironically the same game that this guy attended.

So onto the baseball news to tie me down during FSN updates that are completely useless for me.

Bottom of the 4th now, 2-0 New York. C'mon Maddux!

Oh yeah, don't forget to post a comment here if you want to be in this fantasy baseball thing.

Alberta Separatist Olympics

Official Medal Count:

The Independent Republic of Alberta:
1 Gold, 1 Silver, 1/2 Bronze

The Democratic People's Republic of Quebecois:
1 Bronze

The Dominion of the Rest of Canada:
1/2 Bronze


Please note: The above medal totals are not in any way shape or form intended to acurately depict any sort of intrisic value in the results of these or any Olympic games. I still think this whole Olympic thing is a complete waste of time, and vow that any Albertan nation I lead will not waste a moment's thought or effort into this nonsense.

2006-02-15

More V-Day Journal nonsense

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Women's hockey, that joke of a sport (what was wrong with ringette? when I was a kid, girls had ringette and that was enough) is in trouble for running up the scores. There are a couple points I've heard that are perhaps valid: nobody ever gets upset when some Norwegian adonis does the cross country skiing 45 minutes before his 10 rivals all within 40 seconds of each other for 2nd place, even though he could slow down a little and make it an interesting contest. Likewise, goal differential does count in the final game which is 99 44/100 likely to be Canada-U.S. If the Canadian team decided not to run up the score and the Americans did then the Canadians would have fair-played themselves out of last shift change rights. Of course, there's a worry the IOC could pull the sport. They already pulled real sports last year so I wouldn't lose much sleep over it.

"Global warming may shorten cold season" reads one headline. Uh...duh! Of course, they are talking about the common cold. But somewhere in Edmonton a lazy copywriter took an extra coffee break he didn't deserve.

Venezuala has kicked out a bunch of foreign aid workers on the pretense that they're "spying for the CIA". One of them is a 67-year old Christian activist (read: labour activist) who has been living with a remote jungle tribe since 1962. Where are all the North American liberals who were sticking up for Hugo Chavez just last month? They can't all be busy being hypocrites over offensive religious materials and over MPs crossing the floor...so where the hell are they?

The no-fault divorce days may be over. Sort of. Slightly. Not really. It's always good to see the feminists squirm a little, but its too much to ask that the days of divorce being granted only due to some sort of fault be brought back. Geesh, why would we consider the marriage contract to be binding?

The New York snowfall is another nail in the global warming coffin, right? Nope, its "climate change" now, which means anything that happens at all ever is fair game. On the other hand, the Journal includes a colour version of this picture. I've walked down that subway station (in real life, not in True Crime NYC, though I might go to that one tonight). I see snow, which Edmonton has missed out on. And a cute girl. What else can one ask for?

There's a horribly offensive and stupid article by Aliyah Shivji, an Edmontonian working in Denmark, talking about how bad the Danes were for printing the cartoons (though thankfully "not condoning any use of violence"). It's offensive because it holds up lip service for free speech whilst trashing it, upset over people in Denmark mad at him because Muslims refuse to integrate into peaceful western society, and paints North America and Europe as "racially intolerant" [as opposed to those racially sensitive Muslim mobs -ed]. It's stupid primarily due to this phrase: "Islam does not permit artistic renderings of our Prophet." It's a quick catch-all to explain the actions of Muslim thugs, but it doesn't explain the violent thuggery at world in the Middle East. Only the violence inherent in the false Islamic religion does that.

Finally, Claire Martin is going national. I met her once at Heritage Days: she's exceedingly short, and not nearly as attractive in real life under the hot sun as she is in the Global/CBC studios under heavy makeup and sympathetic lighting. Well, in the Journal's usual style, Martin already has been national since the start of the new year. It is as Ted Byfield wrote in 1981, "two hundred years is a long time for a paper to take getting on a story, even the Edmonton Journal." (He wrote another quib about "it took them that long to discover the National Energy Program" but I can't find that one).

Oh shut up Paula Simmons

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Valentines Day marks way too many sappy stories in the paper. So at the very least I was able to freak out about something. Paula Simmons' article on the bottom of B1 was labelled "True love has neither labels nor limits" and only had about 5-6 paragraphs on the front page before being continued on B4. There was a big wedding-related preamble, a note that last month her second cousin Kristy got married, and the "See SIMMONS / B4" at the end of the front page. I didn't even have to turn to B4 before I had already guessed the punchline (accurately, as always): Kristy's "beloved" Chris was a dyke. Pretty soon, blah blah blah, slag at Prime Minister Harper (that must get Simmons' goat, I just love saying it), the beauty of poofter weddings in general, no gender roles to "fall into", all that jazz.

Brief sidebar here: I love this "being locked into traditional gender roles" line. In Simmons' world there's some sort of horrific criminal underbelly to the concept of BEING A MAN and acting in a manly fashion, and its some sort of offense against humanity when there's a husband who isn't effeminate and a woman who isn't a butch living in a happy fashion that, as Colby Cosh noted in the National Post last month, is pretty much brilliantly biologically engineered.

Anyways, Simmons ends off thanking "all her gay friends and relatives". How many sodomists does a single woman know, anyways? As I've noted before, if I didn't work in an industry that has a disproportionate number of pillow biters, the number of fudge packers I'd encounter in the course of my life is best expressed lim [e^(i*t)+1], t->pi.

What are the chugs and the ragheads so upset about? I mean, c'mon!

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Go figure that I go 10-14 days without posting to the Western Standard's Shotgun blog just in time for high traffic to crash the WS webserver and for a posting by Ezra that received over 200 comments (218 at the time of this writing).

Why all the interest in Ezra's poor-man's version of Alberta Report? Two words baby: controversy. Ezra decided (against the advice from the Canadian Islamic Congress and, oddly enough, the Canadian Jewish Congress) to publish a couple of the cartoons in this month's issue. (Months? I thought WS was bi-weekly, as Alberta Report was in its dying days) All hell has broken loose, even bigger than the infamous Liberanos incident. There are warnings that Canadian soldiers in Afghanistan may be at risk (yes, because the insurgents were willing to leave Canada alone until an Alberta magazine dared publish some pictures), personal injury to Ezra, and the like. But it wasn't like there was overreaction or anything. Well, except Indigo pulled this month's magazines off the shelves (this would be the same Indigo that has in the past refused to carry a lot of Israel-sympathetic books and simultaneously a lot of anti-Israeli books yet none that would ever be written by a German.

Then of course there's another story in there getting people upset: a Ric Dolphin article quoting a friend of Klein apparently slurring Colleen Klein (premier Ralph's wife) by saying when he retires she'll be "just another Indian". This is a bit of a shock to me since:
  1. I didn't realize Colleen Klein (nee Hamilton) was native. Her maiden name doesn't exactly give it away, and even that I couldn't locate on Google: I needed my copy of Don Martin's book "King Ralph"
  2. That's such a big slur (quoted from a not-so-personal friend, no less) that the Edmonton Urban Aboriginal Affairs Committee and two other Edmonton-based native support groups [of which there happen to be a lot of -ed] asked Air Canada to pull the magazine from its lounges (where tragically the cartoon incident had already pulled them)
The Edmonton Journal found fit to note that another of Ric Dolphin's articles (in the Calgary Herald) was criticized for portraying reserves as "nests of hopelessness". Now gee golly jenkins, where on Earth would Dolphin get the idea that there was hopelessness on the reserves????

Maybe just maybe somethings that are offensive to others can still be valid points, and perhaps "hurt feelings" is not the way to evaluate what to show. There's a Paula Simmons article I will rant about in the next entry up...perhaps I should vow to have the Journal banned on Air Canada flights unless the hateful comments about those who oppose same-sex marriage is apologized for.

I think the key point I'm trying to make here is I hate sauerkraut I maybe should have had a few posts on the Shotgun during their 3 days of excessive traffic.

2006-02-14

Baseball on Valentines Day

Again, any interested readers who are interested in a free for-fun baseball pool run through Third Edge of the Sword, feel free to post a comment here. February 16th is when MLB.com opens their fantasy section, and after that I'll give more details such as where to find it.

Watching the May 12 '05 tilt between the Houston Astros and the San Fransisco Giants on MLB.tv today while I clean and try to avoid Xbox.

I've got a "free" trial subscription to the Redmonton Urinal that should end at the end of this month... between Journal pages and laundry that's half the cleanup in a 1 bedroom apartment. There are a few things from today's paper that I want to vent about, but I'll hold off until later tonight or perhaps tomorrow afternoon. Another reason I probably won't get a real subscription. That and I'm poor. Mostly the poor thing, I suppose.

Here's a Valentines Day bunny presentation for you all.

Its a True Crime

Last week I picked up a new game for my Xbox, True Crime: New York City. I've been to Manhattan, so there's something oddly enjoyable about being able to drive the actual streets of New York's most urban borough. Of course, the landmarks aren't all there so you lose out a bit with that... you won't drive past the Empire State building or the Ed Sullivan Theatre. Maybe in 15 years time the Playstation 5 will debut with "True Crime 9" featuring an ultra-realistic New York City featuring all 5 boroughs and a city so accurate that the hot dog stands are even in the right places. Until then, this is all we can do. True Crime LA is another game I'm interested in because I've never been to Los Angeles, and I certainly wouldn't mind moving there (I've done a small amount of active job hunting). It wouldn't be a bad thing to know the roads before I even arrive...

Trouble is, of course, that playing Xbox is for the next few days more important than friends/family/hygene/work. This is why I don't gamble or do drugs... I fear I already have an addictive personality and don't wish to start any new lifestyle changes that completely ruin my life (as it is). I already find that if I don't spend half my day cleaning my apartment, I spend it instead on the internet [only half? -ed]. Not even doing anything, for crying out loud! I mean, I re-read my own blog!

2006-02-11

Anonymous 911?

If you are interested in joining a baseball pool with Third Edge of the Sword, click here and post a comment.


So about half an hour ago driving down Whyte Ave I phoned 911 for the first time in my life, to inform police about a black Honda Civic (licence plate CYM-5 something-something) that was weaving all over the road. He never went fully into the right lane, but he sure made it halfway across a couple of times. I tailed them until the 75th street and 82nd avenue corner where they ran the red and I ended up falling behind. All fine and good, they were sending a car to intercept the guy at his house. What I found as odd was they asked for my name and phone number whilst I'm busy chasing this retard. I thought 911 was anonymous or something. Maybe I'm thinking of CrimeStoppers. I suppose the sickeningly large number of 911 calls made accidentally or as pranks might factor into this, isn't it sort of possible to just, you know.. lie? Claim a missing phone or something, I dunno.

The other big excitement today is in my hockey pool. One of our friends um.....friend's friend friend's acquaintance (for the sake of argument, lets call him Chang) decided he's dropping out. His $10 promised to the kitty going to the winner? He's not putting it in. His $100 sidebet with the owner of the pool (let's call him Martok) over who would finish higher? Backed out of. Why, you may ask? Well, one guy in the pool (we shall dub him Kang) ran out of moves. Martok has lots, so they worked out a lopsided deal in return for letting him acquire a player off free agency. A little sneaky, but nothing too major, right? Wrong. You see, Chang was in first place since the start of the pool, Martok a distant second for the longest time (Chang had a lot of Ottawa Senators). Well, Chang has been losing ground for a while, and just after this "blockbuster" deal (namely Briere and Khabibulin for Boyle and Tellqvist) he fell from first place to a tie for first place. As a result, he backs out. Oddly enough, I started the pool in last place (well, excepting the first week which doesn't count) yet I agreed to the $10 even though it was suggested AFTER 2-3 weeks of play had already been undertaken. Well now suddenly he wanted out of it all. It was more than a little ridiculous, regardless of one's opinion of the deal. Hell, Kang was extremely upset earlier this year that Chang was able to pick up Ovechkin on waivers (due to Yahoo quirks), and then was part of a group of three who were furious that I obtained Ovechkin and Lupal for Marian Hossa (later changed to Ovechkin/Marleau for Hossa, which was still angrily debated). Yet now suddenly its Chang wanting to drop all his cards and go home? I swear, I intended to join a pool full of men. Instead, I get a bunch of drama-loving women I made an angry post about an hour ago, we shall see what comes of it.

Over at the Shotgun, Steve Janke is not impressed with the Francophonie.

A followup to an earlier story, the B.C. government has laid off Costco shoppers who dare go to Alberta. The best newspaper quotes on the matter? "Thorpe said British Columbia will develop a public awareness campaign that educates people about tax obligations." You think people aren't aware that the government claims a rather large tithe on all that is known to man? Also good was "It's cheaper to shop at a grocery store in Banff than it is to shop in Invermere". Dear Lord, where do B.C. residents go to really get their bargains? The shops and services in the Calgary International Airport? There shouldn't be a place on the planet more expensive than Banff. The best about the story has to be that its possible B.C. violated its own privacy laws by trying to ham-fist the data out of Costco. Black eyes all around Victoria this week, I think.

From /.:
  • Craigslist is getting charged with violation of fair housing laws because members can filter for age/sex/race/gender/orientation/religion/smell/etc. So when the feds make Craigslist a cesspool for lousy renters like non-internet options are already forced into, and Craigslist loses its primary appeal, do you think Craig Newmark can get el federales to cut him a cheque for lost income?
  • I was never fired for playing Solitare. But I was once not re-hired for playing FreeCell, so I can empathize.
  • The global warming nutsos are at it again. They haven't said squat yet in Edmonton despite an autumn-like snow-free winter, maybe because somebody is ready to remind them that Europe is freezing to death.
  • Internet radio is losing ground. This is really no big shock. After all, the number of people doing internet radio is skyrocketing, as the number of people who care about radio at all (terrestial or internet or satellite) is dropping. Oh, I might as well take the time to advertise my friend DJ ShyGirl even though her radio station's site is currently down (ouch!).
From fark.com:


The Wayne Gretzky scandal is going out of control. You can link to it yourself, I'm still processing the rumours that this guy is sleeping with this actress.

Oh, and you can still join the Third Edge of the Sword 2006 fantasy baseball pool. Just express your interest in these comments.

2006-02-09

Danish cartoon moral equivalency test

Is it too much to ask that every liberal writer on the continent who isn't calling for the resignation of any newspaper editors who dared show the Danish cartoons be required to express their similar concern over Stephen Boissoin?

Some political notes as well

Hey, if you have any interest in being in a fantasy baseball league, go make a comment on this post.



Colby Cosh weighs in on the Danish cartoon fiasco zeroing in on the outrageous demand that a belief system be excluded from analysis.

Ann Coulter's column this week deals with the Danish Cartoon crisis. If you're reading this in subsequent weeks Ann's webpage wouldn't show it, so I'm hoping this Yahoo link has some legacy to it. Highlight of the column: "Muslims ought to start claiming the Quran also prohibits indoor plumbing, to explain their lack of it."

Ohh, we've heard over and over and over again how "images of Mohammed" are not allowed in Islam. Well, somebody decided to show how bunk that was: here is a collection of images of Mohammed that didn't result in massive protests. The images range from this picture from 1315 on file at the University of Edinburgh to Mohammed in the South Park episode "Super Best Friends". So Muslims everywhere can officially shut the #$&@%^$ up, okay?!

You may remember hearing that 3 "extra" images were passed off as Danish cartoons, including this weird looking thing. Well, Neander News was on the case, and has determined that its a bad photocopy of a photograph of Jacques Barrot, a Frenchman who won a pig squealing competition. Damn those Muslims are touchy. But we all knew that already.

The big political news in Canada is that Stephen Harper has decided to break about 66 promises at once by having his very own Belinda (though admittedly one who's far less of a whore, and his own Doug Roche. While the Liberals obviously are silent on it, conservatives across Canada [all 600 of us? -ed] are having wild debates about whether to stick to principles or support Harper's abandonment of them to possibly further the long-term conservative cause. My own opinion is a linear combination of the two, but my primary thought is this: there was a better way to handle this all.

Like the U.S. Vice Presidency, the Canadian Parlimentary Cabinet is not (as commonly believed) available only to people from a certain party. Harper is more than welcome to choose cabinet members from other caucuses, and in most nations a minority government is generally expected to do so. In other words, when Emerson asked to join the Conservatives (if that is indeed the timeline), Harper should have said no. And then selected Emerson to cabinet anyways. If you do the speech properly and put the proper initial spin on it, the story will take the form you want it to, and you can spin that form very well. Imagine, if you will....
David Emerson is not our first choice for International Trade Minister, nor is he our first choice for Minister for the Vancouver-Whistler Olympics. For the former, we would have preferred Calgary MP Diane Ablonczy and for the latter we much would have preferred Cindy Silver, our candidate in the North Vancouver riding this election. However, the people of Vancouver did not elect Cindy nor any of our other top-notch candidates in her city, and we do require a cabinet member to be able to provide liason services and overseeing of federal efforts in the run-in to the Olympics, and we cannot wait another two-to-five years for another general election in the hopes of Conservative representation. As well, it is only fair that our cabinet reach out to the other parties as is expected in a minority government in every other western democracy. Due to the small size of our cabinet and the concern we feel over corruption within the Liberal Party, in our first cabinet we are limiting this position to only one man, The Honourable David Emerson. David has previous experience as a cabinet minister which will be invaluable to the learning curve of our MPs who have spent their political careers in opposition. As well, David is from the City of Vancouver which as I have already stated requires cabinet representation due to Olympic requirements. Though Mr. Emerson has in the past been highly critical of our party, he does come from the Liberal's right wing and therefore on at least some issues can have common ground with the rest of our party and the five million Canadians who voted for us. For all of these reasons I am here to justify to you the selection of a Liberal member from the opposition benches to join us in cabinet. Mr. Emerson will not, however, be sitting with our caucus. He has not joined our party, and while I do not believe it to be appropriate for him to criticize the decisions our cabinet will make, I will be listening to his input during cabinet meetings in which he will take part. Unlike the Paul Martin minority government, our party plans to reach out to opposition members with whom we can find common ground. When I took over the Canadian Alliance leadership it was thought impossible to build bridges with the Conservatives, yet we proved it wrong. And now I am here to build bridges again, laying the foundation for a limited yet fair coalition with MPs from all the other parties who share our concern for a new era in Ottawa free of graft and corruption, free of the Chretien/Martin democratic deficit, and free of excessive government. To this end Liberal MP David Emerson has been invited to join our cabinet, an invitation to which he has accepted and I hope will set the tone for our 39th Parliament. I dream that one day this session can be looked upon as the session where everything changed for the better, where debates can take place along ideological lines rather than purely partisan ones, and where the people of this great nation can finally feel that they have a say in the way the country is run.
Of course, on the matter of the appointed Senator there's no advice I can give...that one was completely indefensible.

Mike Jenkinson wondered in the SUN this week whither the NDP. Oddly enough, "Jenks" was against the United Alternative. At least, he was. Of course, lots of people who were against it are no longer quite so upset with it. Naturally an NDP supporter was quick to call him on the column in the SUN today. But the main thrust was the SUNshine girls. You know, the comment staff must hate them: they attract such reader opinions that every once and a while flare up and overtake the columnists themselves.

Lavalife is running a "Singles Week" contest that includes a trip to the Dominican Republic. Sweet. All you have to do is send (free) smiles or (hideously expensive) emails. Hell, I can do that. So after about 300 smiles sent, I think I've got a rough chance of winning (rough = practically zero, of course, but hey if its free). Now bear in mind that women who send a smile back at me get their own entry, so the smiles are more likely to flow now than when there's no contest. How many smiles have I received back over the past 12 hours? Two. Two tiny miserable smiles. For crying out loud, are women just that uninterested in me that they literally won't flirt with me even when there are prizes available to be won for flirting, and no actual communication with me is necessary? That's really really sad.

Holt Renfrew gift certificates are alternate prizes. Not only are there a paltry number of male fashions to choose from versus the female fashions (its an e-gift card, so I assume its only on internet purchases), but the male fashions are for the most part unbelieveably chauchy or slightly gay. They might as well have a splash page reading "Non-Metrosexuals not permitted within the premises". And are those two pages the only online male fashions I could get? Geesh, hope I don't win 2nd place! (Sidebar: the gay sweater itself costs $300 more than the $500 ecard)

My apartment is almost cleaned up for the most dreaded of all bachelor-living phenomenon: the mother's visit. Yes, my mother is up in the city to buy a new computer, so I'm helping her with that. Of course, Wal-Mart and Save-On-Foods happen to be close by where we're going, but that's a total coincidence.... [likewise the total coincidence of being out of milk/bread/sour cream/pasta/dish soap/kleenex/batteries -ed]

As the comments to this post have mentioned, Edmonton comedian Lars C. has moved his blog to a new location. He does his own mini-review of the Sunday "headlining" show that I attended. Bonus feature: a picture featuring the adorable yet a little too raunchy for my tastes Kathleen McGee

Between Kim's western Saskatchewan and the long-standing campaign in Prince George to move the Alberta border to incorporate their area (no link, but was covered in Alberta Report once), it seems like the Republic of Alberta could within days of incorporation expand its territory considerably through a means never before used in geopolitical history: pleading.

"Game sales are dropping because unlike movies, game makers are devoid of original ideas and are just making sequels." That's the argument behind this slashdot post. +5 Insightful, you say? He obviously didn't catch Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Fun with Dick and Jane, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, King Kong, The Honeymooners, Guess Who, Bewitched, The Fantastic Four, The Longest Yard, The Dukes of Hazzard, Star Wars Episode 3, Saw II, The Ring 2, Miss Congeniality 2, Son of the Mask, Harry Potter 3, Elektra, Deuce Bigalow 2, Cheaper By the Dozen 2, Grease 3 (!), Kronk's New Groove, The Legend of Zorro, Herbie: Fully Loaded, or Batman Begins. And that's just for 2005! And that doesn't count DOOM which was based on a video game. Now coming up is Big Momma's House 2, Pirates of the Carribean 2, Underworld Evolution, Final Destination 3, and The Pink Panther. Also coming out soon is a Curious George movie. Yeah, but video games have too many sequels...

If you watch American Idol then you might enjoy the twins'...er...twins... from an old Maxim shoot. Well, okay, watching American Idol probably only diminishes your enjoyment of these images. And since looking at pretty girls in revealing clothing is always fun, here's Henin-Hardenne, the French woman who beat Sharapova at the Austrailian Open. Also be sure to check out Sara from Edmonton, one of UMM's featured babes (and check out the other babes too, go ahead). Other fun photos include two girls flashing at Edmonton Police HQ, some people having fun at an Eskimos bus trip party, a photo shoot of local girls, girls from Edmonton's Powerama show in April 2005, and this pic which I picked out as the highlight from the Mode Models page...the Portland girls are better. Did I miss the 2004 Edmonton Sex Show archives? I don't think so!

Finally, this Wikipedia article says "Some sociology researchers dispute the existence of puck bunnies" which means, as Douglas Adams once wrote, they just don't get invited to those kind of parties. After all, a puck bunny graces the links to this site. And how else do you explain the wives of the Edmonton Oilers?

We're talkin' baseball, Kluszewski, Campanella. Talkin' baseball, The Man and Bobby Feller

Well the damned Blue Jays have screwed over my fantasy team again! This time they obtained the most offensively-talented Molina catching brother, the main catcher I was eyeing for in my baseball pool(s) this year. Now, as mentioned before in this post and hockey-wise explained in this post, I refuse to accept players on my pool who are playing for Ontario-based teams (which in this case means solely the Toronto Blue Jays). Therefore Molina (and Burnett, and Glaus, and....) are all off my prospects list. Damn.

Also shitty is that it broke up the Bengie/Jose combo in Anaheim (or Los Angeles, depending how you look at it and how the court case goes). In fact, back until this tragic day when the cheating Black Sox made the WS I wasn't cheering for Houston to win the NLCS, I was hoping for St. Louis and Anaheim so that all 3 catching Molina brothers (that sounds like a circus act) would be in the World Series at the same time. Of course, once the ChiSox got into the WS, I had to cheer for the Astros, which I continued to do so until the southsiders brought home the title.

(Yes, I know that the Jose/Bengie breakup was already telegraphed when LAA let him go, but I held out hope that he'd return to the fold). Also, somebody argues that I'm being paranoid and the Blue Jays will still suck this year. I sure hope he's right. Anything over .500 is a disappointment.)

Other baseball news, Fenway Park is being renovated and expanded (again), but is expected to be ready to host Toronto on April 11th.

There's a quick rundown on all the player moves so far this offseason. More still to come: Clark is in Milwaukee, Coco Crisp is now in Boston, while Sammy Sosa may be playing for Washington.

The League is going to be helping Florida hit up taxpayers for a new ballpark, everybody is obsessed with the Negro League (though how the New Negro League fares in all this is up in the air), and Buff....er, Jeff...Bagwell claims he isn't washed up yet. Buddy, I had you in my fantasy pool last year: you're done!

I've watched another 4 games on MLB.tv since my last post, and damn do I love it. No idea when they're gonna make me buy a 2006 subscription though. Maybe never. I'll keep my fingers crossed. It wouldn't be probably until around February 28th, when Spring Training starts up. Opening Day is April 2nd, but damned if I can find a schedule showing the opening day. I could go to all the team sites, but I think I've figured out that on April 2nd the only regular season game is Cleveland versus White Sox. April 3rd games include Yankees at Oakland, Tampa Bay at Camden Yards to take on the Orioles, the Giants visit San Diego to take on the Padres, and the Cubs visit Cincinatti. I can't find any teams that start on April 4th, and Indians/ChiSox resume on that day, so it looks like there will be 8 NL matchups and 6 AL matchups on Tuesday the 3rd. Wow.

If I do have to buy MLB.com programming again this year, lifestyle changes suggest I should go all out and instead of the basic MLB.tv package go instead for MLB.com All Access Pass. The difference is $100 instead of $80 (in U.S. dollars... I paid $97 Canadian for the $80 package, and should be set back about $117 for this package since the dollar is slightly stronger this year than last). The $100 package gets you so much more though: besides all the live games and the 2004/2005/2006 archives, I'll also get "Baseball's Best" featuring classic games from years gone by, access to Gameday Audio in case I didn't want to watch the game too closely (like if I was cleaning the apartment or something, and wanted announcers who were aware I wasn't watching), and most importantly the ability to watch condensed games and highlight reels, letting me spent 45 or even 5 minutes per game catching up. I think that would fit nicely into my schedule. I'm sort of the ideal audience for MLB.tv really: I don't have cable TV, so I can't just turn on TSN or Sportsnet to watch a game or catch the highlights. I can always watch free hockey Saturday nights when they don't play the damned Make-Me-Laughs, but that's about it. But MLB.tv lets me watch the teams I'm interested in (mainly the Cubbies, the Yankees, the Mariners, and any team which features a lot of my fantasy players), and catch the American commercials. All in all, pretty sweet, pretty sweet.

Speaking of fantasy leagues, its time for the Third Edge of the Sword Interactive announcement! I've decided to start a fantasy baseball league and invite all readers of this webpage to join in and see if you can take me down (you probably can). I was thinking Yahoo (that's where my buddies go into baseball/hockey/basketball pools every year), but had thought perhaps instead to wait until February 16th where I could check out the MLB.com and see what their service is like. TSN and Rotowire do leagues as well, and it might be worth a glimpse to see which would be the best. Anybody interested is welcome to add their name to the comments of this post. We'll see what we can arrange here in a couple weeks.

2006-02-07

Coming soon, a baseball post

I was 3/4s done a massive post about baseball when my useless #&%^$@&^$@ computer crashed. So I might do it later today. Maybe. Along with the accompanying major interactive Third Edge of the Sword announcement!

Love is in the (Air/Water/Fire/Earth)

Lance Armstrong and Sheryl Crow? Done.

Heather Locklear and her gay rocker husband Richie Sambora? Done.

Ralph Fiennes and whoever is married to Ralph Fiennes? Done.

Kelly Clarkson and somebody who actually writes songs and then sings them? Done.

So of the above couples, which one was the snorer? Discuss.

It makes a certain amount of sense...January is the prime breakup month. The trick, you see, is to break up long enough after Christmas to be allowed to keep the presents, but far enough before Valentines Day (Read the 5 reasons men break relationships off... very true, very true) to avoid being a heartless asshole.

Here's an interesting idea: you're supposed to spend St. Valentine's Day this year breaking off a meaningful relationship that has enriched your life in countless ways.

Oh, and next in line for the celebrity breakup dealie? Jay Mohr and Nikki Cox.

2006-02-05

Margaret, we love you!



Denmark's Queen Margrethe II spoke out against Islam last year. I wonder how Imam Syed Soharwardy, President of the Islamic Supreme Council of Canada feels about that: he expressed joy that such cartoons are illegal in this country.

You happy now, stupid liberal-left hate-law passers? You've succeeded in being more restrictive of the press than the Europeans!

I've put the offensive pictures up here on the blog. This trackback link to Michelle Malkin's Blogburst on the subject might just get me part of a trend. That's almost cool. Almost.

Also here you might enjoy another cartoon involving a famous Muslim and the virgins in heaven:




Final score in the Dodgers Game: Padres 8, Dodgers 3. Of course, had I read the webpage linked to below I'd already know that.


Bill Clinton, the former US President, added his voice, telling a conference in Qatar that he feared anti-Semitism would be replaced with anti-Islamic prejudice. He condemned “these totally outrageous cartoons against Islam”.

Hey Bill, now might be a good time to shut up, lest we remember that we're hosting your impeached adulterous ass, and there are a hell of a lot more Danes here than people who would care to see you. (Disclaimer: Sadly, this is probably inaccurate)


Just out of curiosity, I thought I'd skip on over to Eugene Plawiuk's popup-causing bloated computer-crashing blog to see what stupid thoughts Edmonton's favourite bashable leftist came up with: it turns out that these Muslims with their "behead those who blaspheme Islam" signs are doing the exact same thing as Christians who petitioned NBC to cancel that stupid Book of Daniel show. Who knew? Also that the Muslim reaction was again basically the same thing as Republicans in the U.S. trying to end federal funding for perverse art.

As a bonus, Plawiuk supports entitlement payouts to David Dingwall after it seems he was indeed fired for abuse of priviledge. Everybody sing "Solidarity Forever" now!


Who's the funniest Albertan? Leslie Neilsen? (Even though he was born in Regina?) Michael J. Fox? (Even though he grew up in Vancouver?) Three Dead Trolls? Tommy Chong? Some Calgarian comedians I don't know about? Kevin Taft?

No, but the last one is close (it is a Liberal after all!). The funniest Albertan is this guy????


Banks are considering changing the due date of credit card bills that are paid on time too often. Okay, that's just sickeningly stupid. If that's not enough, you might soon have to pay a tax on airfare for in the event of your carrier going belly under. This is a good time to recommend this episode of South Park, where Mr. Garrison invents a replacement for the airlines.

2006-02-04

Saturday night is right for blogging

I'm spending some quality alone time with myself, a sink full of dishes, my list of international chatters, and the combined sports forces of the Edmonton Oilers game against Vancouver from Rexall tonight and MLB.tv's archive feature: in this case, the June 28th 2005 game between the Los Angeles Dodgers and the San Diego Padres. Mostly I watched the baseball game, with only a few Oilers minutes here and there.

One thing that bugged the (censored) out of me in the last 5 minutes of the Oilers game: Anson Carter took a hooking penalty against Chris Pronger (best defensemen in the league, we told him once when we saw him at Billiard's Club on Whyte Ave), and during the ensuing power play an Oiler (Spacek, I believe) took his own hooking call against Vancouver. For just over a minute, the Oil and the 'Nuks were playing 4-on-4 hockey. How long? No idea. Why? Because for some unfathomable reason, the CBC (and TSN, and Rogers Sportsnet, and FSN, and OLN, and ESPN back in the day) refuse to put an on-screen graphic under the score chart showing that there even is 4-on-4, let alone how much time until the 4-on-4 ends. I really don't see why they don't do this: it truely makes no sense. On the bright side, the Oiler fans broke into a "Vancouver Sucks" chant, and the announcers refused to acknowledge what they said (though they did acknowledge the chant, quipping "it sounds like Madison Square Garden" -- and then having to cover their ass and reaffirm that it wasn't an insult). Bonus link: HNIC has its own jumped the shark page.

The real thrill for me was the Dodgers-Padres game on MLB.tv where I can again watch the games after a few technical problems. One was mine: Linux's Windows Media File viewing options are extremely limited. The other, later, one was MLB's problem: MLB.tv was only playing 5 minutes before shutting off, somehow unaware that it wasn't before 6am on the day after the game, seeing how the season has been over for 4 months.

Tonight it all came together: I got myself 4 cans of Tuborg beer, some Jalapeno Cheddar nachos with my homemade sour cream/salsa combo dipping bowl, and an evening where none of my friends answered the phone. Legendary announcer Vincent Scully and his beyond-baritone voice really take the game to a new level. I mainly tuned into the game because I had a couple times last season caught Tegan and Sara's incredibly catchy "Walking With a Ghost" actually being played at Dodger Stadium, which for the girls has to be a huge coup. It also reminded me why Padres shortstop Khalil Greene is such an underrated player: his reach and throwing arm make him a deadly part of the Padres [the only deadly part of the Padres... -ed]. Yet his fantasy value isn't quite as good... his offensive numbers make him best used as a backup SS in away games (his batting average last year fell off quite a bit to 0.250 last year, but his away-from-home OPS was 0.772 versus 0.684 at home). I tried to think of a good analogy for picking up fantasy players with good defensive numbers akin to "sleeping with your sister" or something along those lines, but I couldn't come up with anything. Suggestions are encouraged.

Blogger.com is having a whole lot of trouble this weekend: my site got 403 HTTP errors most of yesterday, and the Battle of Alberta blog was getting timeout and gateway errors this evening, keeping me from reading updates. As a result, the 0 people who tried to view this page over the past 36 hours were probably prevented from doing so. I was still able to post though (I decided not to: no point).

So now that I do have posting capability, whatever shall I take a look at. One thing I did find was a rundown of how MLB.com knows which games to black out. Interesting, I suppose.

Some reasearchers have postulated that time is not a single dimension but is in fact comprised of numerous dimensions (like space is). What this means, of course, is that there is more than one dimension in the spacetime metric which describes "time". Assumably this means altering the affine connection, but I haven't started reading the paper yet (due to the Tuborg). Should be interesting.

The Superbowl is tomorrow. I'll be at work. At least, that's the cover story while I'm disrupting the big game... And while Global's SuperBowl numbers exceed the Grey Cup (by almost 3.5 TIMES in Ontario!), it doesn't matter anyways since we miss the best part.

Tomorrow night interested Edmontonians should be willing to run over to Comic Strip at West Ed (as I shall be) to catch former fellow blogger Lars C. as he debuts as a headlining act.

That's all for now, folks!